Normal Mormons

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2010-10-15T00:51:00.001-06:00

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2009-06-09T09:17:00.001-06:00

A NEW Normal Mormons will be back in a jiff! Til then, take a look at the archive! Lots of great reads!

"Big Love" to Air Sacred Temple Ceremonies

2009-03-10T09:06:00.004-06:00

If you haven't yet heard, HBO is planning to air parts of our sacred temple ceremonies. As you may have guessed, I am extraordinarily angry. Like - really, really angry. It's not so much about the sacred temple ceremony being publicized, it's more about the fact that they are purposefully trying to disrespect us. They hired an ex-Mormon to tell them all the details of what goes on in the temple. Usually producers and directors attempt (albeit the feeblest attempt) to respect most major religions without "crossing that line." Well - they just crossed a huge one. BUT - after reading this article I feel a little better.

From the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Website:

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sometimes finds itself on the receiving end of attention from Hollywood or Broadway, television series or books, and the news media. Sometimes depictions of the Church and its people are quite accurate. Sometimes the images are false or play to stereotypes. Occasionally, they are in appallingly bad taste.

As Catholics, Jews and Muslims have known for centuries, such attention is inevitable once an institution or faith group reaches a size or prominence sufficient to attract notice. Yet Latter-day Saints – sometimes known as Mormons - still wonder whether and how they should respond when news or entertainment media insensitively trivialize or misrepresent sacred beliefs or practices.

Church members are about to face that question again. Before the first season of the HBO series Big Love aired more than two years ago, the show’s creators and HBO executives assured the Church that the series wouldn’t be about Mormons. However, Internet references to Big Love indicate that more and more Mormon themes are now being woven into the show and that the characters are often unsympathetic figures who come across as narrow and self-righteous. And according to TV Guide, it now seems the show’s writers are to depict what they understand to be sacred temple ceremonies.

Certainly Church members are offended when their most sacred practices are misrepresented or presented without context or understanding. Last week some Church members began e-mail chains calling for cancellations of subscriptions to AOL, which, like HBO, is owned by Time Warner. Certainly such a boycott by hundreds of thousands of computer-savvy Latter-day Saints could have an economic impact on the company. Individual Latter-day Saints have the right to take such actions if they choose.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as an institution does not call for boycotts. Such a step would simply generate the kind of controversy that the media loves and in the end would increase audiences for the series. As Elder M. Russell Ballard and Elder Robert D. Hales of the Council of the Twelve Apostles have both said recently, when expressing themselves in the public arena, Latter-day Saints should conduct themselves with dignity and thoughtfulness.

Not only is this the model that Jesus Christ taught and demonstrated in his own life, but it also reflects the reality of the strength and maturity of Church members today. As someone recently said, “This isn’t 1830, and there aren’t just six of us anymore.” In other words, with a global membership of thirteen and a half million there is no need to feel defensive when the Church is moving forward so rapidly. The Church’s strength is in its faithful members in 170-plus countries, and there is no evidence that extreme misrepresentations in the media that appeal only to a narrow audience have any long-term negative effect on the Church.

Examples:

During the Mitt Romney election campaign for the presidency of the United States, commentator Lawrence O’Donnell hurled abuse at the Church in a television moment that became known among many Church members as “the O’Donnell rant.” Today, his statements are remembered only as a testament to intolerance and ignorance. They had no effect on the Church that can be measured.

When the comedy writers for South Park produced a gross portrayal of Church history, individual Church members no doubt felt uncomfortable. But once again it inflicted no perceptible or lasting damage to a church that is growing by at least a quarter of a million new members every year.

When an independent film company produced a grossly distorted version of the
Mountain Meadows Massacre two years ago, the Church ignored it. Perhaps partly as a result of that refusal to engender the controversy that the producers hoped for, the movie flopped at the box office and lost millions.

In recent months, some gay activists have barraged the media with accusations about “hateful” attitudes of Latter-day Saints in supporting Proposition 8 in California, which maintained the traditional definition of marriage. They even organized a protest march around the Salt Lake Temple. Again, the Church has refused to be goaded into a Mormons versus gays battle and has simply stated its position in tones that are reasonable and respectful. Meanwhile, missionary work and Church members in California remain as robust and vibrant as ever, and support for the Church has come from many unexpected quarters — including some former critics and other churches.

Now comes another series of Big Love, and despite earlier assurances from HBO it once again blurs the distinctions between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the show’s fictional non-Mormon characters and their practices. Such things say much more about the insensitivities of writers, producers and TV executives than they say about Latter-day Saints.

If the Church allowed critics and opponents to choose the ground on which its battles are fought, it would risk being distracted from the focus and mission it has pursued successfully for nearly 180 years. Instead, the Church itself will determine its own course as it continues to preach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the world.

The Beauty of Being Involved

2009-02-18T13:59:00.000-07:00

by April

So, contrary to what many have discussed thus far on Normal Mormons, I actually really like my ward. I didn't even have to ward shop! We've lived in the same place for a year, and it hasn't been just until recently that I've had the time and will to actually participate and go every Sunday. But as a new year's resolution, I promised that I would go to everything I possibly could, do my visiting teaching, fulfill my calling as a Mia Maids advisor, and attend enrichment meetings etc... So far, I am doing pretty awesome.

Not gonna lie though, I used to dread going to church and activities. I was always the "new" girl - and no one really knew me very well. Plus, church is boring. I'm sorry - but unless there's an extraordinarily charismatic speaker, I can't pay attention for the life of me. Even in Sunday School. Especially in Sunday School, ugh. But lately, I've found that the friendships I've made with both the youth, the leaders, and many of the women in RS that I actually look forward to showing up.

Sure, perhaps it's bad that I look forward to going to church because of friends or social activities, but honestly how many people do that? Countless. Even the older folks who are supposed to be "attentive" and all "filled with the spirit" doze off, read a book, etc... (even the Bishop!) which honestly - isn't right. At least I look like I'm paying attention instead of blatantly ignoring the speaker like most do.

My husband's view on church callings is quite different - I think I'll have him do a guest post!

What the Heck is Kolob???

2009-01-05T10:41:00.005-07:00

Somehow, while working very hard, I was Googling stuff and came upon this image.

I was like, "Hey, that's kinda funny/mean/sad." I had to do a bad photoshop edit on it because there was top secret temple stuff included. (Rude!) But what the Hell is Kolob? If you notice in the background there are letters on the building. So I Googled that. And went to Wikipedia. And found this.

In the Latter Day Saint movement, Kolob is a star or planet mentioned in the Book of Abraham as being nearest to the throne or residence of God. The literal existence and the exact nature of Kolob is a controversial topic in Latter Day Saint movement theology, as is the Book of Abraham, which has not been canonized by the Community of Christ and several other denominations. However, the idea of Kolob has had an influence in the theology and culture of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church).

So since I am sort of a "newerish" member, maybe someone could explain this to me? I mean, I read the Wiki definition, but what do you guys think? I had no idea.

Now we sound more like Scientology and their weird planet "Xenu." What gives?

Prayer?

2008-12-31T10:56:00.005-07:00

Last night I got down on the side of the bed and started praying as usual. Normally, I thank Him for the things he's given me, and humbly ask Him for the things I need or want. I always include a line about "keeping family and friends safe" and try to thank Him as much as possible for the individual ways in which I've been blessed lately, hoping that my "requests" and "thank you's" will balance out by the prayers end.

Lat night I was sort of at a stand still. I prayed SO hard for my husband and I to get the Lap-Band these past few months that we ended up actually getting it on Dec. 8th together. That was probably the best thing that has ever happened to us both! But now, my husband is having horrendous foot pain. He had gout before, (which is one of the most painful things a man can go through...comparable to child birth they say) and now it's just so much worse. They think it might even be Rheumatiod Arthritis which BOTH of our mother's have, so we know it really, really sucks. He has to use a crutch and even cries because it hurts so bad. And hubby ain't no pansy either. He's gigantic and muscley and just...not a "crier." So I know it's bad.

He said..."What if asking God for something is a lot like making a wish? You know, like when you wish for a million dollars and your dad ends up dying so you can get his life insurance or something... and THAT'S how you get the million dollars? What if God is like that and he gave us the Lap-Band, but then gives me Rheumatiod Arthritis?"

I didn't really know what to say, because maybe he had a point. Thoughts?

This Is Why Mormons Have 400 Kids Each

2008-11-25T09:00:00.002-07:00

I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but there are a few things mentioned in my ward this week that really bugged me. We haven’t been to church in a few weeks, so while sitting in sacrament meeting I was really feeling the spirit. Sunday school was a bore as usual, but my husband kept me busy as he impatiently misbehaved the entire time. Then, in Young Women’s (I am an advisor) the topic was on how our views differ from the views of the world. Things like alcohol, drugs, etc… Then came the part about having children in which one of the girls quoted a prophet/leader, “It’s incredibly selfish to not have children when you are able to do so.” or something to that effect. Then she went on to quote more leaders, “People often ask how many children we should have, and to that I say ‘Have as many as you can handle.’” Then she began to get emotional, saying she can’t imagine not using the gift God gave us.

The reason these statements bugged me is because not everyone is the same. I know LDS people that have no desire whatsoever to have children. (Albeit there are very few of them…) but it’s not because they want to “make money” or “travel” – it’s not for worldly things. It’s simply because they aren’t the nurturing type and they don’t particularly enjoy children. I find absolutely nothing wrong with this, and having church leaders say otherwise really makes me angry. Personally, as you may know, I want to have children! But I am not like everyone else. And we all shouldn’t be the same. Sometimes I think Church leaders, but ESPECIALLY certain members tear down people when they are different. They don’t realize that it’s okay to be different and have different feelings towards something like bearing children.

Then the statement, “Have as many as you can handle” just threw me over the edge. I am assuming he meant have as many as you can handle mentally, physically, and financially. Which is a good idea in theory, but all in all really dumb. Again, everyone is different. If I have the mental capacity, the physical ability, and the financial freedom to have “just one more” after say, my 9th child it doesn’t mean I should just keep having kids. Of course, there are people who want more than that, so I say “Go ahead!” But just because you CAN have another child, doesn’t mean you SHOULD, or HAVE to.

I think the church needs to reiterate that having children is good, but only when we can afford to do so. So many times it feels like the church is egging us on to “raise seed unto the gospel” no matter what the cost, or how much government assistance people are getting. Granted, the majority of the LDS people in my area are filthy rich doctors, but we all know the starving BYU students who decide it would be a good idea to have a kid, then get on government aid, and eat ramen just so they can “fit in” with the church mindset of having kids as often and as soon as possible.

Break the mold a little people!

Oh My Heck, We Are Famous

2008-11-16T20:08:00.004-07:00

I got an e-mail letting me know that Normal Mormons was in an article! Here it is, from BeliefNet.com.

(UNDATED) Stories about love, lust and the undead may not seem like the best vehicle for teaching teens about faith and morality. But for Stephenie Meyer, who has been called "the Mormon Anne Rice," her best-selling "Twilight" books and upcoming movie contain plenty of teachable moments.Meyer, a wife and mother of three from Phoenix, who is a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and graduate of Brigham Young University, says she has become accustomed to people asking her, "What's a nice Mormon girl like you doing writing about vampires?"But as she told one Mormon-themed Web site, "Unconsciously, I put a lot of my basic beliefs into the story.""Twilight," published in 2005, was the debut vampire novel in the series of books that has now sold nearly 10 million copies, generating the kind of frenzy among tweens and teens that rivals Harry Potter.The film version opens in theaters nationwide on Nov. 21.On the surface, "Twilight" is little more than the latest incarnation of vampire legends that have circulated in many cultures for centuries, and which have been popularized in novels like Bram Stoker's "Dracula" (1897) and Anne Rice's "Vampire Chronicles'' series (1976-2003).Yet Meyer's religious and moral values clearly shine through, even though Mormonism is never mentioned.

Heroine Bella Swan has the same insecurities and anxieties as any 17-year-old girl. But when she falls for Edward Cullen, a handsome fellow student who happens to be a vampire, she confronts the kinds of existential questions that religion addresses."The most obvious Mormon influences can be seen in the ways that Meyer has her teenage heroine stand up for marriage and, ultimately, motherhood," says Jana Riess, author of "What Would Buffy Do: The Vampire Slayer as Spiritual Guide" and co-author of "Mormonism for Dummies.""But anyone who is familiar with the Book of Mormon can also discern deeper theological themes, from the Mormon reinterpretation of the Fall of humankind -- which inspired the apple on the `Twilight' book cover -- to the theme of overcoming the natural man, which we can see when Bella wrestles with her desires and decides whether or not to become a vampire.

"The concept for the "Twilight Saga'' series of books came in a vision, says Meyer, who is 34 and had never published a word before pitching her idea to an agent who got her a $750,000, three-book deal.

She doesn't read vampire books or watch R-rated movies like "Interview with the Vampire."And the sexual tension that pervades the stories is a natural byproduct of Meyer's strict Mormon upbringing. Growing up as a good Mormon girl among other good Mormon girls and boys, she met her future husband as a child but the two did not associate outside of church activities until they began dating when she was 20. They married nine months later.Unlike many other young adult novels, there's no sex in "Twilight,"even though Meyer's editor suggested otherwise. None of the characters drink alcohol or indulge in profanity, but there is plenty of heavy breathing and sexual tension.

Meyer's treatment of sexuality is a hot topic on Mormon-themed Web sites like normalmormons.com and motleyvision.org that make up the online "bloggernacle."A writer on motleyvision.org, which explores Mormon art and culture, says Meyer's books show "how abstinence leads to a heavily charged play of small gestures among Mormon teenagers and young adults."

And in a post on normalmormons.com ("It's true. We're out there."), a relative of Meyer's writes:"Edward and Bella could barely touch or kiss for fear that Edward might get carried away and suck her blood in a fit of passion. Very similar to that of two young BYU/high school students who aren't yet married and can't touch each other for fear it will lead to sex. I'm sure it was easy for Stephenie to describe with firsthand experiences."

By STEVE RABEY c. 2008 Religion News ServiceCopyright 2008 Religion News Service. All rights reserved. No part of this transmission may be distributed or reproduced without written permission.

Pretty Sweet Huh? Here's the link.

Why I Voted For Obama

2008-11-04T15:12:00.003-07:00

I've mentioned before that my ideals are not liberal or republican. In fact, I am not sure what it's called - I just know what I believe in. This has been the most difficult decision I've had to make in a long time. I've flip-flopped between candidates for awhile, and I finally sat down and tried to write down (in excel spreadsheet form of course) each candidates policies and what they believe in. I researched, and researched everything from their past to their family life and exactly what they would do for the country. I watched all the debates and even watched biased media (although I shouldn't have.) Then, all slander and unconfirmed facts aside, I still didn't have a clue as to who I would vote for.

Last night I even got down on my knees and prayed that Heavenly Father would guide me in the right direction. But I still didn't have an answer right away.

Even as I walked into the little elementary school gym, I wasn't sure who it would be. I cast my vote for all the other candidates for congress and district courts etc... Then it came to the large box to the left with the nominees for president.

It was at that moment it sort of just...came to me. I want to vote for the person who is best for this country, not who is best for just me. So to make a very, very, very long drawn out and detailed story short - that's why I chose Obama.

Are YOU Normal?

2008-10-19T22:13:00.002-06:00

For the first time ever, Normal Mormons is openly recruiting writers! Here's what we're looking for!

1. 2 male writers

2. 2 female writers

3. You'll need to be able to post twice per month.

4. Your writing has to be witty, unique, and something we wouldn't find on every other Mormon blog. You don' have to be funny because, let's face it, we wouldn't be writers here if that was the criteria.

5. Submit a paragraph either via e-mail or in the comments section stating why you want to be a writer.

Things to consider:

-This blog is politically neutral. We welcome democrats, republicans, independents, etc... Your views can be expressed, but probably won't be entirely agreed with.

-This blog is about Mormons and being Mormon. Therefore, you must be a Mormon. Convert, inactive, whatever. As long as you consider yourself a Mo, you're good.

-This blog firmly enforces freedom of speech. You are basically allowed to say whatever you want, assuming you don't use swear words. Think "newspaper" guidelines.

-That in mind, you'll want to make us look good. So don't do anything stupid.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Mormons and the Media

2008-10-18T15:17:00.002-06:00

This is a post I wrote on Modern Molly Mormon, another blog I write for. After it's post, an overwhelming amount of comments and e-mails were made, mostly not in my favor. As a result of my little "non-conformist" view, the poor mediator of that blog had to enforce some new rules about not posting things that aren't congruent with the churches official stance on certain topics. Afterwards I posted an apology, but received e-mails and comments that were all of a sudden more supportive. So without further ado...

I feel it’s only appropriate to post on something I have experience in. For those of you who haven’t gone over to my profile, I am an account executive for an NBC affiliate. As you might imagine, the media has been a ginormous part of my life. Movies, music, Internet, billboards, television, newspaper…I’ve spent my college career studying these things in depth. So what have I learned? All media isn’t evil (as it turns out.)
Many of us easily shy away from certain types of media fearing it will "taint" us or our families. We need to understand that humans have a natural curiosity towards the unknown. Violence, sex, drugs, rape….all the “bad” stuff. This is why the particularly violent or sex themed shows are among the highest rated. Same with movies and music. Sometimes the media can help our children and ourselves understand the world around us. It doesn’t mean that we all want to be a part of this or take action and mimic these atrocities. By being exposed to different forms of media, we are able to develop a distinct line between good and evil, between right and wrong. We are able to understand our curiosities without acting on them. We are able to see what happens in the world in a fictional setting, versus a much more dangerous and real setting. This is also where good parenting comes in. Naturally our children might mimic what they see on TV or sing a dirty lyric they heard on the radio, which is really what we are afraid of if we allow our children to be exposed to such material. It’s our job to help them draw that mental line between “good” and “bad.” By completely shutting out certain types of media from our lives we only limit our knowledge of the real world. Not to mention the fact that the things we see on the news can be just as bad or worse than anything fictional. Now, I am not saying that watching a rated “R” movie with graphic violence and language in it is the best way to educate your family. But it IS a way. And it’s much easier to talk about it as a family than have curiosity take a turn for the worst. It’s also an excellent way to visually stimulate the minds of children about historic actual events. (Who wants to read about the Titanic when they can SEE the movie?)So when your six year old girl comes into the room and starts singing, “I kissed a girl and I liked it!!!” you can actually talk about it with her and explain what it means and why it's bad. Or when your son brings out his toy gun and starts shooting people, you can illustrate that he should be shooting the rapists and not the policemen. (Joke.) Since we are all “Modern” Mollies blogging on the Internet I don’t suspect any of you are completely stuck in the stone age.
I will say that we are part of a special group of people that take morality seriously. We are mothers, wives, and daughters who have standards. But we should also have open minds.
I personally am biased because I LOVE the media! I have learned more through media than at school! I admittedly watch rated R movies and listen to the Top 40 songs (which are often less than moral), but I am not a heathen. We are all different and have different takes on things that are appropriate. The important thing is to always keep an open mind, and experiment with new movies and media to keep a broad knowledge of what is out there. This way your children aren't blindsided when they are out in the real world and exposed to certain media for the first time.

Normal Mormon Makeover

2008-10-07T20:27:00.003-06:00

Hey everyone! Please excuse the mess while I update the page, change the layout, and make Normal Mormons friggin' awesome. In the mean time, check out some of the posts labeled "controversy." Those tend to be pretty fun.

The Love Guru

2008-09-29T10:53:00.002-06:00

The Love Guru was dumb. As are most movies that Mike Meyers has anything to do with. But of course I watched it and actually laughed.

It's a story of an Indian guy (Meyers) who wants to become the best guru/motivational speaker out there, a title which is currently held by Deepak Chopra. Upon watching the movie, my husband and I assumed this Chopra guy was some made up character, when in reality he's a real guru. (Shows you how out of touch we are.) Out of curiosty we You Tube'd him and found that his motivational speaking is some of the most soothing, interesting, and peaceful stuff out there. Now, the only motivational speaker we really payed any attention to was Matt Foley, the guy who lives in the van down by the river. So we didn't have much to compare him to. After a few videos my husband says:

"That's it, I am changing religions. What's better than a religion where you don't have to do anything?"

In one video Chopra stresses the idea of meditation, and enforces you to do nothing. To just sit there and breathe. Don't think. Just do nothing. Which sounds pretty freekin' awesome to me. His entire "thing" is based on well being, mind/body/soul oneness and all that sort of guru-ish sounding stuff.

Thankfully, we don't have to switch religions or anything to become completely "one" with our bodies and take some advice from Deepak. I find that high stress levels are often a common factor in church and in our Mormon social groups. Dr. Chopra and his center for well-being takes a completely non-judgemental view on life, God, and our bodies. Therefore any religions really can benefit from his ideas.

The Chopra Center is a place in Carlsbad, CA that has among other things, yoga, motivational speaking, and other sorts of liberal-vegetarian personality type stuff. However, I am becoming more and more entranced with all these cool ideas. As a younger adult, I find it's important to start investigating who I really am, and how being Mormon is a huge part of my personality. Some of Deepak's ideas really fall in line with Christianity and Mormonism, giving into the idea that our spirits are here way before and after we had physical bodies. While I don't think he has a religion officially, he has investigated Hinduism, Buddhism, Christianity and more I assume.

While we can't all fly to Carlsbad, I suggest you check out Dr. Chopra on You Tube. I can't cross my legs like he can, but I am always down for doing a little bit of nothing and meditating!

http://www.chopra.com/aboutdeepak

A New Blog

2008-09-26T08:40:00.004-06:00

Hey everyone.

Blogging is a lot like credit cards - you want them, and they are great to have for a while, but after you collect six or seven it's time to just stop.

Thankfully, I am just in the beginning phases of this horrendous cycle, and therefore have created a new blog. It has come to my attention that my young inexperienced girlishness has rubbed off obviously on this blog. I personally suspect it's due to my lack of expression regarding my over-girliness. I will admit, my favorite color is pink. But that's beside the point.

Ideally, Normal Mormons is a very uni-sex place for men and women to talk about being a Mormon. I don't want my posts to start (or continue in some cases) sounding and catering to the female psyche. So I've created a new blog that will allow me to vent and talk about literlly - whatever the heck I want, which will hopefully divert this blog's theme into a man and woman friendly place to be Normal.

It's just www.aprildurham.blogspot.com and it's called "April Showers." I'm pretty flighty, so this might change if I think of something better. Ideas would be sweet. But then again, if it was a good idea you would probably use it yourself.

I have also recently acquired the Adobe Creative Suite, which I have no clue how to use (aside from PhotoShop) so forgive me if the theme and structure of my pages starts to morph.

In the mean time, take a look at my new blog, make some comments so I look cool, and let's start swapping blog buttons.

Anti-Mormon Comment (Woo hoo!)

2008-09-22T13:51:00.003-06:00

Dontcha just LOVE this?

Anonymous- in italics.
Me - in bold.

Read your church history-- and maybe be brave enough to venture outside of the pale, whitewashed "approved" version in your sunday school handbook.

I do. That’s the point of this blog.

The LDS church's history is ripe with sexism and racism.

Um, so is the United States of America’s history. Not just the LDS church is to blame nor is the church the only religion whoever didn’t accept gays, blacks, women – whatever. Did you know that Latter-day Saint men and women were leaders of the women’s suffrage movement, and Utah was the second place in the world where women had the right to vote?

Brigham Young spewed so much raciest hate over the pulpit that I'm surprised how easily modern day Mormons are able to block it all out.

It was a different time. A different setting. And people were completely different. Like I mentioned in a previous post, no prophet’s are perfect. They are human. And what God inspires them to do and say can even be masked by societal issues. Society is to blame for racism. Not one person. And certainly not one person from the LDS church. Even in today’s society there are church leaders (not the Prophet) who spew crap about blacks and their roles and history in the pre-existence and here on Earth. Just because one person starts teaching “doctrine” or what they believe, doesn’t mean the entire LDS church follows suit. And in my mind, these people should be reprimanded for teaching such things.

And seriously, does no one notice when the LDS Church quietly goes about changing things like, "white and delightsome" in the BOM to "PURE and delightsome"?

Do we not use both word often in conjunction in the English language anyway? Perhaps it was racist people who forced the change because they assumed “white” literally meant white people, not a whiteness of heart or pureness of heart. They mean the same thing in this case. People take it the wrong way, which is why we need a prophet so misunderstandings can be cleared up. Everyone sees things differently, and in this case many people assumed “white and delightsome” had something to do with race.

And men and women equal? Are you kidding me? Heber C. Kimball is quoted as having said, "I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow." Joseph Smith's "wives" included girls as young as 14, and women who, when he met them, were currently married to others (Hey, uh, God told me that apparently I'M supposed to be married to your wife). And while I suppose newly converted Mormon woman are no longer told they are expected to become the 14th wife of some lecherous old man twice their age (AFTER the journey to Utah, mind you) they still certainly are not treated as men's equals. They are expected to be wives and mothers, end of story-- no real leadership potential, and no real value outside of those two relationships.

Your idea of a woman is skewed, not ours. Like I mentioned before… different time and different place. The Mormon people were a few of the first to accept women as equals. It wasn’t the Mormon church as a whole who decided women weren’t equal – it was society. It’s individual people who have are sexist, racist, and are bigots – not the Mormon church. In today’s society the idea of men and women being equal is becoming so much more skewed. Women assume that being LIKE men is being EQUAL to men, which is not the case. Women and men are different. Each with different roles, different responsibilities, different needs. Just because it is a woman’s divine privilege to have and rear children and it is a man’s right to work and provide for his family doesn’t make either party better or worse. It also doesn’t mean that men and women have to fulfill these roles or abide by the traditional gender "rules". It just means that God made us different for a reason, and gender is a vital part of who we are.

The Mormon Chruch changes it's tune when it becomes politically or financially expedient to do so. It's members pull their blinders tighter and excuse everything said before as ok because, well, I'm sure there's some kind of reason, right? What's that famous Mormon catch all-- we don't understand everything now, but I'm sure God has a plan. (Huh, I wonder if that gives the rest of us hope for your current raging homophobia at some point. That would certainly be nice.)

It’s not the church who changes their tune when it’s politically or financially expedient to do so. We fully believe that God has living prophets today to convey his messages to his people. In the Bible there were many prophets who did this for God’s people. God chooses someone to relay his messages. I can’t speak for God, but I personally believe that He shows us what he wants to show us in due time. That may sounds nuts to non-Christians, but it makes perfect sense to me. Would you give your 5 year old child a talk about sex? No. They aren’t ready and are too young to understand. We are God’s children and we don’t know all that we think we do. Yes, right now we fully believe that homosexuality is a sin. The Bible says so and God says so through the Prophet. Maybe in 10, 20, 100 years they will all look back at us and say “Ha! I can’t believe those people actually thought being gay was BAD!” Much like we do now about inequality with blacks and women. The Bible talks about polygamy, and now we think it’s nuts. It can all get damn confusing. Who says everything must be the same century in and century out? Change is inevitable, here and in the afterlife.

SEX!

2008-09-17T15:26:00.001-06:00

That was just to get your attention. Now follow me! Scroll down to where it says "Followers" and click "Follow."

Diet Coke and Ho Ho's

2008-09-11T12:38:00.003-06:00

You know it. I know it. We all know that Diet Coke is a direct blessing from God. Well, it feels like it. Maybe in the same way crack feels to druggies. Or coffee feels to my mother. When the carbonation tickles my nose and the ice cold sweetness slips down my throat, I feel a little closer to Heaven. Personally, I also feel a little closer to Heaven when I sink my teeth into a choclatey devilish cake or a McDonald's cheeseburger, which is another one of my cravings. So what constitutes an addiction? By my sheer description of love for these foods and drinks, you might conclude that I have a problem. So what's the deal?

The Word of Wisdom warns us against consuming "hot drinks," which as we all know are considered coffee and tea. This doesn't mean that a nice frappucino or iced tea is off the hook. Joseph Smith stated:

I understand that some of the people are excusing themselves in using tea and coffee, because the Lord only said "hot drinks" in the revelation of the Word of Wisdom .... Tea and coffee ... are what the Lord meant when He said "hot drinks."

Okay, so we all know that coffee and tea are a no-no. Why? Well, we aren't sure. Is it because of the caffeine content? Perhaps. But then why are we allowed to consume other beverages with caffeine? Why didn't Heavenly Father inspire Joseph to say "nix the caffeine." Why "hot drinks?" Here's what the church said about it:

With reference to cola drinks, the Church has never officially taken a position on this matter, but the leaders of the Church have advised, and we do now specifically advise, against the use of any drink containing harmful habit-forming drugs under circumstances that would result in acquiring the habit. Any beverage that contains ingredients harmful to the body should be avoided.[37]

I never understood the whole "don't drink coffee or tea, but go ahead and drown your sorrows in carbonated aspartamey splendor." Granted, I bet there's something in coffee and tea that we don't know about. Some radical cancer-causing agent that no one knows about, and unknowingly everyone downs like it's going out of style. Maybe one day the coffee beans and tea leaves in South America will develop some sort of lethal poison that we're unaware of, and *POOF* one sip of coffee or tea will kill everyone but the Mormons. Or at least the Word of Wisdom abiding ones.

So how do we KNOW for SURE that coffee and tea are the "hot drinks" we aren't supposed to partake of? The Prophet. Duh. What's the point of a modern day prophet if they don't tell us what the heck God is talking about?

But the Prophet hasn't ever flat out told us not to drink Coke. Or Diet Coke for that matter. He's never flat out said, "Don't eat at McDonald's because you're going to turn into a solid mass of cholesterol." He's never said, "Stop eating high fructose corn syrup and partially hygrogenated soybean oil" which are both found in nearly every processed food we eat. He's never told us to stop eating Ding Dong's, french fries, ice cream, cake, etc... Now, our prophets have always ADVISED against putting those crappy things in our bodies. But no one was ever Joseph Smith-esque, who just flat out put a stop to the whole "smoking, alcohol, coffee, tea" thing. No prophet has ever said, "STOP. Just STOP."

Some people might be saying, "Well, what about the people who aren't addicted to bad food and soda? The people who just like a little taste every now and then. Why ruin it for them?" I'm sure the people who liked to drink the occasional glass of wine thought that too.

Where's the firm resolve? Is God giving us a little leighweigh, or is the Prophet human? He knows that putting a ban on McDonald's and Diet Coke like coffee and tea won't go over well with the general public within the church. Maybe this is like the Civil Rights movement. All along the Prophet knew that men and women should be treated equally. The Prophet is a man, born and raised in society and bearing the influnces of man. Blacks holding the Priesthood didn't happen until the nation came to a consensus on equality. It was only then that the church officially finally were able to accept blacks as equals.

So we know what's bad for us. Yet we continue to consume it. Deep down we all know that comsuming processed foods, fast food, soda pop, etc... isn't the right thing to do. How do we afford fresh fruits, vegetables, and grains when an entire BOX of Ho Ho's are only $1? How do you feed a family of 37 healthy food if it's cheaper and faster to get fast food at McDonald's?

Well I don't know. I wish I did. All I know is that there's a reason for everything. (Yeah, one of those people.) We all just need to use common sense, avoid impuse buys, and think about what we're shoving into our mouths and the mouths of our children. Food and caffeine is addictive. And anything addictive is bad. (Note: Porn included.)

Maybe a new revelation is on its way? It's been good for us so far!

A 14-year selective study conducted by UCLA epidemiologist James E. Enstrom tracked the health of 10,000 moderately active LDS people in California and ended in 1987. Of these non-smoking, monogamous non-drinkers, Enstrom concluded from the study "that LDS Church members who follow religious mandates barring smoking and drinking have one of the lowest death rates from cancer and cardiovascular diseases—about half that of the general population. ... Moreover, the healthiest LDS Church members enjoy a life expectancy eight to eleven years longer than that of the general white population in the United States." The standardized mortality ratios (SMRs) for whites in the general population is defined as 100. For males in the study, the SMRs "are 47 for all cancers, 52 for cardiovascular diseases, and 47 for all causes; the SMRs for females are 72 for all cancers, 64 for cardiovascular diseases, and 66 for all causes." For LDS high priests who never smoked cigarettes, exercised, and had proper sleep, the mortality rate was less. The results were largely duplicated in a separate study of an LDS-like subgroup of white non-smoking churchgoers in Alameda, California.[38]

Follow Me!

2008-09-04T10:15:00.003-06:00

When you are in your "dashboard" there is a place below all your blogs where you can add blogs you are following. Add me and I'll add you!

Doing the Right Thing

2008-09-02T11:35:00.003-06:00

Today I went to the DMV to register my new car. Yes, I bought it despite my previous post on Spending Money. If you had read that post, you'd agree that my purchase was justified. All that aside, I got a killer deal on a 2006 Chevy Malibu. It's nice - not as big as an Impala, not as small as a Cobalt - and will be great for when we have a family. It's charcoal gray, and very sexy. If a car can be a 4 door sedan and still be sexy, this is it. *drool*

Anyway, I went to the DMV and got it all registered. 65 bucks and change. I got $100 out of the ATM and gave the woman 60 bucks, thinking it was $80. She gave me change for $70. I quickly corrected her saying the ATM only gives 20's, so it MUST have been 80 and she gave me the extra money. As I walked to the car, I realized I had an extra $20 in my hand. Without a second thought I turned around and went back in to correct my mistake, and gave the 20 back.

It wasn't until I was out in my car again that I realized I would NOT have done that around 5 years ago. I would have dimissed it as good fortune and gone shopping. What made me turn around so fast? Impulse? Habit? The theory that good fortune is returned three fold for doing something honest and good? I don't know. Does this mean I will get $60 in return? Does blogging about my good deed take it away?

Well, I don't know about all that. I guess since I was baptized 4 years ago, lots of things have changed. Would we still do the right things if we didn't assume we would get blessings for doing so? Does expecting something in return completely erase the good deed in itself?

What about tithing? We all have a testimony of tithing the the good things it brings to our lives. Would we have that same testimony if nothing happened and you just gave your money to a good cause? Is the good feeling you get a good enough reward?

I don't know, maybe you all have an opinion?

Spending Money

2008-08-27T08:58:00.003-06:00

I'll be blunt. We got an HDTV. (Insert glowing halo and choir music here.) It's so sexy that we actually had to modify our entertainment center to get it to fit. Normal people wall mount it, but we were blatantly terrified for fear that it would fall and crash into a million pieces before we could watch anything. So we took a sledge hammer to all the little convenient shelves in our wooden entertainment center, which left a gaping space to put in a TV. With just about an inch left on each side, we got it in. Now we are consumed with watching Blu-Ray movies and playing Xbox.

My car is a trooper – but if I have the air conditioning on it putters out like it’s out of gas. Especially in 100 degree weather. More than once I’ve been on my way to see a client, and all of a sudden I am stranded on the side of the freeway pushing my car to safety. So I am going to buy a car. Right now I own my car – but I was thinking of getting something a little nicer and just make payments on it. Maybe a cute Beetle. My 6’4” husband can fit into those things like a dream. In any case, it’s gonna cost me.

I’m flying to Seattle this weekend to see my best friend from college. Needless to say, lots of shopping will be involved. She just bought a brand new Cadillac. You know, the one from the commercial that says, “When you turn your car on does it return the favor?” Yeah.

I haven’t actually MADE a meal in two weeks, excluding last night when I put pizzas in the oven. We’ve eaten every meal out.

I’ve spoiled myself lately with nails, hair, waxes etc…

Last night I kneeled at the side of the bed for prayer, and had an overwhelming need to request God’s help.

Please, please God let me win the lottery. And if that doesn’t happen, help me make more money at my job. And if that doesn’t happen remind me the next time I want to buy something that you will smite me with a bolt of lightning.

In all seriousness, I’ve found that spending money wisely is kind of another addition to the Word of Wisdom. Don’t drink coffee, don’t smoke, and don’t buy an HDTV if your car is a piece of crap. The church has been good about dealing with financial matters and how we should avoid credit cards, and be frugal as much as possible. I think I have just forgotten how to do that.

Spending money is easy. Be it on a TV, baby clothes, kids’ toys, husband’s toys, wife’s beauty regimens, even food and the necessities. Some people buy brand name things when the generic brand would work just fine. Some people pay only $400 a month for rent, and purchase a $4000 living room set. Some people live in squalor, and eat ramen noodles every day, and never go out and have fun.

I say there’s a happy medium. Granted, we should be careful of what we buy, and never use a credit card unless we can pay the balance off in full each month. But we should also realize that LIFE is what happens when you are saving up for it. (My own quote there, feel free to attribute it to me….) We need to budget for FUN. We need to budget for what makes us HAPPY. For example, going to a movie in the “expensive” theatre (vs. the $2 theatre) once or twice a month gives me an unnatural amount of joy. So I am going to do it. On the other hand, I could have definitely gone without getting my hair done. I could have gone without these stupid nails that make it so I can’t type. My husband could have used his old rifle instead of buying a new one.

We could really go on about this all day. I guess the point is to be SMART about what we buy. Honestly, thinking about Heavenly Father when I feel weak makes me much more likely to spend wisely.

What have you bought lately that you probably shouldn’t have? What are some tips you have for spending money wisely?

Stuff Mormons Like

2008-08-21T08:43:00.001-06:00

I just found this site. http://www.stuffmormonslike.com/

It's hilarious.

Comment Response to Mo'Dar

2008-08-14T16:37:00.003-06:00

Occasionally, I take a comment and make it public. Usually this occurs when the comment was particularly heinous or controversial and is easy to make fun of. Here's the newest one!

How does a shopper at Old Navy...etc....make one more likely to be mormon?

Old Navy offers a plethora of clothing for the young and old - much of which is suitable to cover garments. Not to mention the fact that Old Navy's are rampant in Idaho and Utah. Most people who shop at Old Navy aren't Mormon - it's all the Mormons that shop at Old Navy. Same with other stores. Just because you shop there doesn't make you a Mo'. It just so happens that Mo's frequent these store for a whole laundry list of reasons that I won't go into.

I shop at nearly all those places and am far from Mormon.

Again...not saying that shopping there makes you one. Saying that lots of Mo's shop there.

Pretty sure that all of my family enjoys those hoppies listed...how do any of those point to Mormonism...

I too enjoy hoppies.

Please enlighten me on the following: How is a male who is a white collar worker more likely to be mormon than a blue collar working male???

From personal experience, many of the Mormons I know have a white collar occupation. I don’t know why! Maybe it's where I live.

Isn't that a little egocentric???

Yes.

My dear, I think that you have truely become one with them; which I'm sure was your goal. However, it is really sad that you are mature enough to make your own decisions yet have been so easily brainwashed. My prayers are with you.

Am I the one who is brainwashed? Are you're prayers REALLY with me? It is easy to point out the eccentricities of others. I simply do it about myself and my religion. We are a funny group of people and it can be easy to identify us. Besides, what's so bad about having children, having a loving Christian home, covering up, treating your body right, and doing the right things? If that's brainwashing then bring it on!

Mo'Dar

2008-08-13T13:44:00.005-06:00

Mormons are funny creatures. Now that I am a full-fledged temple recommend-holding Mormon - I've developed pretty good Mo'Dar. This is "radar" only the kind that is exceptionally good at seeking the following criteria.

The Celestial Smile or "MoGee Lines." This refers to the outlines made by garments visible under the clothes. The celestial smile is the line formed by the neckline. "MoGee" is slang for "Mormon Garment."

CTR Ring. More obvious is the Choose The Right ring, worn widely mostly by RM's (Return Missionaries) and young adults.

The Haircut: The missionary haircut is seen throughout the majority of a young male RM's life. Haircut Mo'Dar for females is not accurate. However, you can usually be accurate in assuming a female with an RM haircut is NOT a Mormon.

Geography. There's a 75% chance that someone who lives in Utah is Mormon. About a 27% chance that someone from Idaho is Mormon. Of course this varies by city or town. Where I live, I would say there's a good 50% chance that some random stranger you meet is Mormon. In Idaho Falls - just 45 minutes away - that percentage jumps to probably 80%. There's some pretty sweet statistics at this site if you're interested.

Clothing. If your Mo'Dar is unable to decipher MoGee lines, or if the subject begins to feel uncomfortable as you examine them - pay attention to their clothing. Do the women wear capped sleeve shirts and long skirts or pants? Do the men wear button up or polo shirts? Young adults of the Mormon persuasion tend to dress modestly by comparison. This is more difficult to decipher as subjects increase in age.

Shopping habits. The likelihood of a subject being Mormon increases greatly if they are found shopping or working at any of these stores - Old Navy, Motherhood, OfficeMax, Costco, Sam's Club, Abercrombie and Fitch, Aeropostale, JoAnn's Fabrics, and of course any store with the actual name of the church or "Deseret" in it.

Occupation. The likelihood that one is Mormon increases if they have any of these occupations. For men: student, doctor, physicians assistant, computer hardware/software tech., dentist, or manager. For women: Teacher, Stay-At-Home-Mom, any type of service work, nurse, or dental hygienist.

House décor. If you've stopped by the new neighbor’s house for a visit, be sure your Mo'Dar pays attention to the house decor. If there aren’t readily any photos of Jesus on the wall, check for wall plaques with sayings like “Families are Forever,” Ensign magazines strewn about, or a framed family proclamation.

Office décor. First, note the subjects age. The younger the professional, the more likely they are Mormon. Then take note of photographs of family. 3 or more children will throw your Mo’Dar into overdrive. If neither of these things are noted, check for Mormon paraphernalia such as LDS mouse pads or plaques with inspirational quotes often used at the MTC.

Number of children vs. age of parents. The likelihood of one being Mormon is inversely proportionate to age, and directly proportionate to number of children. The higher the number of children and the lower the age of the parents increases the chances of Mormonism. For example, a 22 year old with three children is MORE likely to be Mormon than a 32 year old with four children. However, a 32 year old with 8 children is just as likely to be Mormon as a 22 year old with 4 children.

Age of Children. If the subject’s children are 2 or less years apart in age, the chances of them being Mormon are greater.

Last but not least, Hobbies. If you find a subject participating in any of these hobbies, they are more likely to be Mormon. For men: Video games, hunting, fishing, golf, blogging, and watching TV. For women: Scrapbooking, blogging, sewing, cooking (especially anything with Jell-O), or blogging.

My Temple Wedding

2008-08-12T08:14:00.004-06:00

This past Friday (08/08/08) was not only the first day of the 2008 Olympic Games, but it was also the day my husband and I got sealed in the temple!

Two years ago on May 20 we were married civilly. It was a beautiful wedding atop a penthouse in downtown Boise. At that point we weren't really worried about getting sealed. We weren't preventing it from happening by our actions either - we just didn't feel ready. In school we tended to be nomadic, so we rarely attended church.

This year we settled down a bit, were able to go to church, and began to think about "Time and All Eternity." Picking a date is never difficult for us. May 20th is the date right between our birthdays - so 08/08/08 seemed like a cool date too. Not to mention that the infinity symbol (∞) has always been important to us as we used it to express our love when we were first dating. We used to say that our love could be represented by the ordered pair (-∞,∞) negative infinity to positive infinity. (Don't laugh.) How appropriate for a temple wedding - time and all eternity. (If you didn't notice, the infinity symbol is an 8 on its side....just making sure you caught that....)

Anyway, we were sealed around 8am. I think my husband's parents (and his whole family for that matter) were a little miffed that it was so early. They assumed I scheduled it for 8am because of our date, but really it was the only time they had available that day. (Which I was very surprised by.) My father-in-law told us he arrived a little late so we could be sealed at 8:08. Ha.

The ceremony was short, as I had expected. But we were sealed by my husband's grandfather, so it was extra special. As he was speaking the words, I payed close attention. Then, both my husband and my husband's grandpa began to cry. And of course so did my husband's parents. I tried to cry, but couldn't. I was way to happy to even shed one tear. I'm not really a "happy crier," so all I could do was smile.

Our reception was to be that night at 7pm in my mom's backyard. My mom, who is not a member, spent months planning a "casual reception." We later found out that planning a full on wedding reception may have been the same amount of work. We got an above ground pool, tiki torches, a gazebo, and barbecued burgers on the grill. My mom spent hours making greek pasta salad, mini quesadillas, meatballs, cheesy sticks for the kids, and raspberry punch with orange sorbet. The food was so good it was impossible to keep it on the table. Not to mention that my mom made her very first wedding cake. Two white three-layer teirs filled with orange cream and topped with snow white frosting. It looked so professional! As a gift, she topped it with a Willow Tree figurine called "Promise."

My husband's family didn't seem so eager to help on Thursday, and really made a few of us angry. Needless to say, there was a lot of drama on Thursday night. But by Friday night after we got sealed, it was like a weight had been lifted. No one was angry, everyone helped, everyone was in a great mood. The kids were running around, swimming and eating, and the adults from both families sat around and talked like civilized people. No one wanted to leave, and by nightfall the candles and tiki torches were the only things lighting the backyard.

I really didn't want that day to end. I am so happy that I can be part of a great family. Even though they have dysfunctions - it's awesome knowing we can all come together and have fun.

My Endowment

2008-08-04T08:48:00.003-06:00

So this weekend was a big deal. I finally went to the temple to get my endowment. Not sure if that needs to be capitalized, but we all know it's important. Overall, it was spiritual, enlightening, understandable, and actually "fun." Not many people can use this word to describe their temple experience as we can see from the poll on the left.

My husband, of course, waited until the morning of my endowment to get his recommend signed by the stake president. After a panicky morning, we headed out with my husband's aunt (who was my escort) and his uncle. They are both around 60 years old, but both exceedingly good looking and filthy rich. Maybe not filthy - but we did arrive at the temple in their black Escalade, which was awesome. (Hey I'm poor, little things amuse me.) My aunt forgot her recommend of course - she's trendy, cute, feminine, and flighty. Affectionalty called the "Fancy Nana." But with a phone call, we were able to get in.

The number one thing I am glad I did before I went in was to prepare. I know you're not supposed to know what happens in the temple before you go - and I never really found out exactly before I went in. But I did have a better clue than a few of the other brides-to-be going in. I was briefed on each part of the endowment from a few different sources, and I also Googled it myself, being wary not to read anything from ex-Mormons that might reveal sacred stuff. All in all it went just as I expected, just in a little different format.

I feel so bad for a few of the other brides who went in with me. They looked lost, scared, and giggled a little at themselves. I was the only bride-to-be that looked like I had some semblance of a clue as to what everything meant. It's no wonder people think it's weird! I will say this though, I now know EXACTLY why all the things we do in the temple are sacred. And secret. I mean, anyone could find out all the information if they really wanted to online, so it's not really secret. But it wouldn't make any sense whatsoever to them. Everything we do in the temple has meaning. For a moment, I stepped back and looked at what I was doing from an outsiders perspective, and yeah, it's a little non-traditional. When you are actually in there, and you know why, and you know what it means - your perspective is so much more understading.

People who go into the temple unprepared are in for a "treat." Like I said, I can't imagine the times before temple prep classes, or the times when you couldn't really talk about it with your husband or anyone else, and you just had to get up and go. It's really vital that we prepare our young daughters and sons for what they will see, and be as specific as allowed. We assume that we can't discuss what goes on in the temple, but the truth is, we can! Just not a few specific things. So I say - talk about! Well, not at work in front of the Catholic guy, or in the movie theatre - but seriously - talk about it with the people who haven't gone through yet at home or in private together.

For those of you who haven't gone through yet, don't worry. There's no animal/virgin sacrifices. Thankfully, I was able to really listen to what everyone was saying. The whole thing lasts a pretty long time. We got there around 1:30 and left around 7pm. So it's hard to remember everything. But keep an open mind. Nothing is really surprising - it's just cool to be reminded and learn a few new things. A word of advice - get endowed on a different day than you get sealed. I don't know why people do it all in one day. I would be too busy thinking about my reception/dress/ceremony etc... than listening and learning. Plus it's a lot to remember.

Afterwards we headed back to our aunt and uncle's "mansion" where we openly discussed things. It was great not to have to dance around anything, and just be able to talk about it. I sipped strawberry lemonade from their crystal glasses and shifted with my silky garments. I actually really like my garments! They are the most comfortable things I've ever worn under my clothes. No tight straps, poking underwire, wedgies or anything! We concluded the night watching my uncle's video of the press conference for Stephenie Meyer (author of the Twilight series.) Since Stephenie is our cousin, he went down to San Diego for the Twilight movie event - and is all proud and excited. Yeah I'm jealous!

Anyway, this Friday my hubby and I are going to the Boise temple to get sealed! Wish us luck!

The Stake President Saw Me Naked

2008-07-31T08:25:00.003-06:00

Well, bascially. It felt like it.

I am ashamed. I have all these cute summer clothes. Mostly tank tops and shorts. I've had them for years and they're perfectly broken in. Granted, sometimes they leave little to the imagination, but with 100 degree heat I'm prepared to run around naked if that's what it takes.

Yesterday I was of course sporting the tank top and short shorts while hubby and I were dropping off a movie real quick. Normally, I wouldn't be caught dead in public wearing an outfit like that - they are generally strictly for "home use." But we were in a rush because he had to get to the stake president's office to get his recommend signed. My endowment is this weekend, and of course he's put it off until now.

We let the time get away from us, and realized that I would have to take him over to the stake center for his interview, then pick him up afterward. I dropped him off, but instead of leaving I decided to just wait in the car.

About ten minutes later hubby emerges asking for more "documentation" or something - with the stake president right behind him. I am literally thinking, "Oh, Shit." Which is perhaps not the right thing to be thinking at this juncture. I shuffled around in the backseat to try and find something to cover myself up with. (The cleavage in this shirt I was wearing is a little rediculous.) I found my girl's camp sweatshirt and just as the stake president approached the car, I wrapped it around myself.

More than a little embarassed, my husband feigned some excuse that we were swimming and tried to get him away from me.

A few things I learned on this adventure:

1. Always be prepared (i.e. don't dress slutty) to meet someone important at any time of the day.

2. My broken in clothes will no longer be feasible after this weekend.

3. Wearing garments will be a very rude awakening. But still an excuse to buy more clothes.

4. Always keep a large sweater in your car. Not only for a situation like this - but just in case you get mugged and they take your clothes.

5. Have good excuses handy.

Only One More Post on "Twilight"

2008-07-24T12:44:00.006-06:00

Okay, I refuse to consistently talk about the series - good or bad. I was severely falling behind the "Twilight" bandwagon, so I've only just finished the first book. But I just had to add a few things.

For those of you who don't know, "Twilight" is the first in a series by BYU grad Stephenie Meyer, who also happens to be my husband's cousin. I always feel like I have to say that because well, I have never even SEEN a famous person, let alone have one in my family, so I will certainly be the first to say, "Hey I know someone famous."

All in all the book was good. It was pretty exciting and heavily paralleled Mormonism. It was well written, and not complicated to read. I wasn't searching for meaning, I could just read it and get engrossed.

I only have a few tiffs (spoilers):

1. What's the deal with the "damsel in distress" act? It gets a little monotonous after the fourteenth time Edward must carry Bella to safety. She's completely helpless the entire time, and Edward's chivalry gets a little monotonous too.

2. Bella constantly describes how enchatingly, amazingly, wonderfully, heroically, handsome Edward is nearly every page. His cold breath, icy skin, white face, blah blah blah. I just couldn't see how he could be attractive (I guess I have a thing for tan guys.) That, and the constant Edward flattery was just over the top. By the middle of the book I wanted to ring Edwards icy, sparkling-in-the-sunlight, white as snow, neck.

Cool ways it paralleled Mormonism: (I'm sure there's a whole crap load more.)

1. The entire time Edward and Bella could barely touch or kiss for fear that Edward might get carried away and suck her blood in a fit of passion. Very similar to that of two young BYU/high school students who aren't yet married and can't touch eachother for fear it will lead to sex. I'm sure it was easy for Stephenie to describe with first hand experiences.

2. Towards the end of the book, Bella was begging Edward to suck her blood so that she could turn into a vampire and be with him forever. But the blood sucking process is very painful. Is this like temple marriage? Living the covenants and paying 10% can be pretty damn painful at first. Then of course you get to go to the temple and be sealed for eternity and reap all the blessings of an eternal life together. Much like Bella and Edward could do if they lived as vampires together forever....

For Those Who Live in Salt Lake City

2008-07-21T14:10:00.003-06:00

I feel special as a Mormon. When I walk into the Deseret Book or Distribution Center and watch the lady in the skimpy tube dress, or the guy with the tattoo of a snake on his face stare at me, I feel happy, special....I feel like I know something they don't. Which, technically, I do. When I am searching for clothes with capped sleeves or long skirts, when I leave my Gospel Principles book on the front seat of my car, when I say I want 5 children and I'm only 23 - people who aren't Mormon get the hint. I'm proud. And of course, a convert.

I don't think you can be this excited about your religion if you've known nothing else. I love going into Deseret Book and buying overpriced paintings of temples I've never been to, foil embossed scriptures, hymn cd's, scripture highlighters, CTR rings, cheeky romantic novels with two people on the cover holding hands - It's so...so...cultish. Sorry. There's probably a better word, so excuse my lack of vocabulary. I just love being a part of all this fun stuff we do outside of church. Buying stuff at the distribution center dirt cheap, making your own "plaque" that says "Families are Forever," etc...

Except of course, when I go to a place like Idaho Falls or Salt Lake City. When you proudly go into the bookstore, no one stares at you. They follow you in. When you go into a bridal shop to search for a dress, you have to ask for a dress WITHOUT capped sleeves. Wal-Mart has special jewelry sections devoted to CTR rings, young women's necklaces, and primary bracelets. When you pass a parked car, not only is the Gospel Principles book in plain view, but amidst the four car seats you spy primary crafts, three sets of scriptures, a Young Women's guide, and ten little stick figures stuck to the back window in descending order.

I guess I never realized how hugely enormous the LDS church is. When I went to Georgia, a bunch of girls I met there had no clue what a Mormon was. At all. So I just figured I was part of something that hadn't yet grown into a huge religion. Yeah, we have our little bookstores and special clothing shops, but I underestimated us - big time.

Here are some of my former misconceptions:

1. Weddings are small and modest. HA! Have you ever opened an LDS bridal magazine? Most of these brides have doctors for fathers - therefore dropping $20,000 on a wedding reception is nothing. I thought everyone had a backyard barbecue and invited family only. I guess you can save a lot more money if you omit a ceremony and pool all the funds into a killer reception!

2. The only LDS author is Stephenie Meyer. While the Twilight series is probably the most popular now, there is a ridiculous amount of books by LDS authors about LDS stuff. Love, family, fiction, non-fiction. There's an entire library on dating, which doesn't surprise me at all.

3. Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre are the only movies ever made by a Mormon. Correction: There are huge LDS themed production companies that have made millions upon millions of dollars and continue to distribute all types of movies, both about Mormons, and by Mormons.

4. LDS bloggers are lonely and are quite outnumbered by Anti-Mormon sites on the web. Pffttt. That's all I have to say.

In short, I severely underestimated the whole "Mormon" culture thing. Going to Salt Lake City was a huge eye opener. It's like no one there has ever heard of a tank top, or Starbucks. I guess it's just a culture!

Mormon Porn

2008-07-17T09:03:00.007-06:00

In the process of looking up stuff for my upcoming temple wedding, it's interesting that search engines will find just as much Anti-Mormon material as they do LDS themed websites.

I looked on YouTube for LDS temple wedding videos - you know the artsy, beautiful montages made of couples right outside the Salt Lake Temple, most often in the dead of winter... I was getting ideas. Then, on that brilliant little square to the right are similar videos that YouTube thinks you might be interested in - some of them blatantly attacking the Mormon faith. Even some that re-enact sacred temple stuff. (Didn't watch...)

This goes for Google too. I Googled, "LDS wedding invitation wording" or something to that effect - and ended up on sites that are ex-Mormon, try to de-bunk our faith - whatever.

Looking at Anti-Mormon websites is kind of like looking at porn. (Not that I've ever looked at porn...) It can get just as addictive and all the while you have this really disgusted look on your face and feel so sorry for all the people involved. I've read people's stories on how they left the church after 40 years, how the temple ceremony was terrifying, how Mormons can't be Christians, why Mormons are wrong, how spouses cheated, and tons of other material. I just kept delving deeper and all the while just feeling so sad that nothing anyone will say to them will ever change their thoughts. Because now, they are so far into it, that turning around and coming back out would be a blow to their self-esteem. So they keep trying to disprove our religion, hurt our feelings by putting all their effort into silly videos, twisting all our beliefs, practices, and values around to make us seem like cultish followers.

I guess here's my response to all those who left the church, or never really looked into our faith, and continue to bad-mouth and ridicule us:

To those who left, I notice a theme in your stories. Something bad happened, a divorce, a death, and left you in question. Or you went to the temple, or heard a story about something Mormons believe, and were taken aback when you found out the truth. Learning something new is always hard. We aren't always used to the things we are taught. Especially in life. So when you hear about a strange "Mormon" practice, remember that it's almost like trying to understand the Universe for the first time. Or trying to understand that yes, you DO have a push a watermelon out of your vagina. Or trying to wrap your mind around the whole "Ark" thing, and how Noah could fit all those animals on one boat. At first, it just doesn't make sense and is hard to believe. But after awhile, it's so easy to get caught up in what the rest of the world thinks about Mormons. It's EASY to be a part of that group that tries to de-bunk our faith because it feels good to be in the majority. The majority believes that Noah put all those animals on the Ark with no problem. If no one else thought that, and only MORMONS thought that, I'm sure we would sound nuts.

It's funny how Anti-Mormons will find anything possible to make us look bad. The fact that we are little marriage and baby factories. The fact that we don't drink coffee or tea or booze because were "better" than everyone else. The fact that we get married in temples, not in churches or on beaches, or in Vegas. The fact that we use symbolism of any sort, and won't tell everyone about it. The fact that we wear special underwear. The fact that we have missionaries always knocking on people's doors. But does all this really make us look bad? No. It makes us look DIFFERENT. And people are afraid of different. Nothing that Mormons do or believe is BAD. People just aren't used to it. In fact, as we all know, Mormons are actually really good people in general. It depends on the person of course, but as a whole, we tend to do good things and be good people. Our "Karma" is called "blessings" and we do things accordingly.

The rumor mill goes 'round and people hear all sorts of things about the Mormon faith. Many times people leave the church frustrated and alone. They start anti-Mormon websites, where people can gather and "recover" from Mormonism. I'm not going to poke fun at what "recovering" might entail, but I think it has to do with alcohol and rated R movies. Being a Mo' is hard. Reading people's anti-testimonies is hard. Living the Word of Wisdom, and abiding by all our crazy "rules" is hard. If you don't want to do it, fine. But just because you have to have a smoke or drink a bit of booze or mess up every now and then, doesn't mean you have to leave the church. Just because you don't feel the Spirit 24 hours a day, or when you're going through the temple, or at really important times, doesn't mean that it's God telling you that you're wrong. We are human, and have human emotions, and everything we do isn't perfect. So if you're reading or doing something in the church and feel nervous or weird, that's natural. Granted, it's not like were having orgies in the temple like my Grandmother once thought - and its not like what we do is THAT strange. Good grief.

Alright, that's enough of that. Back to my point of Mormon Porn being a problem. We are encouraged NOT to read this stuff. I would agree for many people. Sometimes people are gullible, or just get blinded by things people say so much that they shouldn't look at it. On the other hand, it challenges us to "re-convert" ourselves sometimes. Especially for those who grew up in the church, it's vitally important that you do your research and convert yourselves instead of following like sheep. These sites only make my testimony stronger. Not to mention it's kind of fun when you point out all the wrong things people think about us.

That Vampire Book Written by a Mo'

2008-07-14T08:18:00.005-06:00

I don't read. I've heard that if you want to be a good writer, you have to read. Well, I read magazines and blogs. Aside from the occasional self-help book, I really just find fiction a waste of time. (I'd much rather see a movie.) The one book that I actually ever called my favorite is "Speak," which was later made into a Lifetime movie. I read that in 9th grade. I figured I better spruce up a little so, begrudgingly, I've jumped on the "Twilight" bandwagon.

I first heard of this fiction tale via my niece, who pointed out the book in Wal-Mart saying, "It's soooo good. It's about this girl, and she falls in love with a vampire." I laughed aloud and quite rudely threw the book down in disgust. "Sounds so lame." I still feel bad for that.

Anyway, on a road trip to the temple with a bunch of the Young Women, they began talking about the book too. And how it was written by a Mormon! I couldn't believe that a book about vampires could be written by a Mormon. It's also on the bestseller list, and a much "bigger" book than I had realized. Later I asked my husband about some book called "Timeless" and whether or not he had heard of it.

He corrected me saying: "It's called Twilight, and my cousin wrote it."

Me: "Ahem. What?"

Apparently, Stephenie's dad is my husband's mom's brother!

Awesome! So now out of family obligation, I had to start reading it. Of course, as many books I DO end up reading often do, I became lost in the story and was halfway through in one evening.

So far, the other leaders and Young Women have started talking about Edward and Bella like they're almost real, or a part of our daily lives. Church has become somewhat of a book club. And this is how I found out that a movie will be released on December 12th of this year.

I Googled it, and watched the trailer. It looks pretty freekin' awesome. However, strangely enough, the very same girl that played the main character in my first fave "Speak" is also the main character in the "Twilight" movie.

In any case, if you haven't joined in - I suggest you get on it. Apparently, there's more than one book - it's a whole series! So I need to get caught up.

When Praying Doesn't Really Pay

2008-07-07T11:30:00.006-06:00

This weekend my husband and I took a trip to Boise, Idaho. It's where I grew up, where my family lives, and only three short hours away from where we currently live.

My husband went fishing, so I was going to pick him up on my way out of town Thursday evening. I left around 5pm, in the blazing heat of the day. I packed my two cats into a carrier, and a duffel bag into the trunk, and headed out. (I'm one of those "cat" people. The kind that has a calendar, leash, and ultimate scratching post/cat tree.) My husband was about twenty miles away, and at around mile 17 my car went from 85 miles per hour, down to 75, down to 65 as I tried to gas it. I pulled over to the side of the road, and my car died.

I sat there, allowing the sun to creep into the windows, diminishing all traces of air conditioning. Cars sped past me, rocking my little car with their 85 MPH wind wake. I carefully got out, and took my panting cats out of the inferno-esque car. I didn't see this one coming. A cop pulled over and gave me the low down on how long I could leave my car abandoned on the side of the road. I sat in the small amount of shade my car provided on the side of the road. My enormously over-sized movie star glasses made my face drip with sweat. I promised that my car wouldn't be one of those with the bright orange sticker on it, and spray paint on the windows left for dead on the highway.

My husband drove his truck and came and got me. We drove a mile into American Falls with the A/C blasting and got a corn dogs and chocolate milk shakes. When we came back to my POS Neon, she started up again. We slowly made our way back to town, and my husband followed me - but not before the same cop could pull him over for swerving. (His steering is going out.) My car died at the off ramp stop light, and our cop friend came and pushed me. He finally said, "Looks like you two need a new car."

While my husband isn't Mr. Mechanic, he got a new Radiator and A/C relay. Whatever that means. We decided to leave the next morning (without our felines), assuming it was fixed, and said extra hard prayers to the effect of, "Please let us know if the car is going to die BEFORE we leave. Please don't let us get stranded. Please, please, PLEASE!!!"

170 miles later, my car died once again in the blazing heat of the day. 65 miles away from Boise. We were under a bridge. The only shade for 20 miles in both directions. If you're not from any state in the west, here's what to expect: Sagebrush on top of sagebrush for miles in all directions, pavement so hot it makes your tires melt, and wind that will tear your skin right off. While I was secretly appreciative for the shade, we both tried not to laugh, cry, or yell and stayed calm. What now? We waited a few minutes until it "cooled down" (assuming that was the problem) and continued to the next town. Consisting of a restaurant/convenience store and a Mocha Hut, the small village of Hammett was of no help. Other than the refuge we took in their air conditioning. We continued, and it died again on the freeway. We turned on the heat to cool the radiator, rolled down the windows, and tried to putt-putt our way there stopping for an oil change at Wal-Mart in Mountain Home. (40 miles from Boise.) And to wick away our sweat-drenched bodies.

At around 5:30pm we arrived. Seven and a half hours from the time we left at 10am. A trip that should have taken all of about 3 hours.

The weekend went great. My husband and brother gave my car an internal makeover, and we made it home today just fine.

Maybe praying DOESN'T work all the time? Maybe Heavenly Father has a different plan for us in the way of car repair. I guess if I had never payed attention to the problems NOW, I could have had this problem while driving to get my endowment, or driving to Boise again to get sealed. Now THAT would have been bad. Do we just make excuses for unanswered prayers? Does He always have a reason? I wouldn't be lying if I said I didn't think so.

What Can You Do?

2008-07-01T14:07:00.006-06:00

While shopping the other day, I noticed a man who had no teeth, a greasy baseball cap on, and peeking under his wife beater was a hairy beer belly. I was quick to judge, and assumed, like all other Americans, he was a piece of white trash. No job, on welfare, sucking off the government. Probably had thirty kids that were contributing to society in no way, and probably weren't all his. I left the store with all my groceries, piled high in plastic bags. I saw him and his wife and three kids leaving the store with a cart full of green re-usable bags and realized how wrong I was. For he wasn't the part of the group who would ultimatley be responsible for the demise of our environment, I was. No matter how much more money I had, or how great I looked, or how my job was contributing to the betterment of society - it wouldn't matter if we couldn't even live on our own planet anymore.

We Mormons are VERY interested in the welfare of our children and grandchildren. We try to also see eternal perspective. We need to remember that while we are chilling out in the Spirit World, our children's children's children will be chilling out on Earth. We should teach our kids now that protecting the Earth isn't just for democratic "tree huggers."

On June 4th, I attended an economic symposium in Idaho. Here's what it said in a pamphlet I received.

1. If the thermostat in every house in America were lowered 1 degree Farhrenheit during the winter, the nation would save 230 million barrels of crude oil.

2. If every American would spend 1 minute less each day in the shower, they would save 1,000 gallons of water per person, per year.

3. ONE hour of using gas-operated leaf blower produces the same amout of greenhouse gas as a car driving 4,400 miles.

4. If every American switched to receiving just one bill as an e-statement instead of paper, the one-time savings would be 217,800,000 sheets of paper.

5. If just one passenger per flight in the world this year packed 1 pound less luggage, they would save enough fuel to fly a Boeing 737 around the world 474 times.

6. If every American household turned off the lights for one hour, they would prevent more than 16,610 tons of carbon dioxide from being released.

7. 88 billion plastic bags are used in the U.S. each day. This represents 12 million barrels of oil. Less than 1 percent of plastic bags get recycled.

8. Household batteries contain hazardous materials that leak into the atmosphere. Instead, buy a set of rechargables.

9. Catalogs, newspapers, and magazines add up to more than 4 million tons of paper per year. Cancel your printed subscriptions and get the online versions.

10. Only 8 out of 10 water bottles are recycled. It takes 15 million barrels of oil per year to produce water bottles, enough to fuel 100,000 cars. Instead, pick up a resusable water bottle and install a filter on your faucet.

11. If every American did four out of five loads of wash in cold water, it could keep 50 tons of carbon emissions out of the atmosphere per year.

12. Minimize the use of ventilating fans in your kitchen, bath, and utility area. Just ONE hour of use can pull out a house full of warm air in the winter, and cool air in the summer.

13. TV's, DVD's, and electrical equipment still use SEVERAL watts of power in standby mode. Plug electronics into a power strip, and turn off when not in use.

14. Americans throw away about 40 billion soft drink cans and bottles every year. Placed end to end, they would reach the moon and back twenty times!

15. If all the cars on U.S. roads had properly inflated tires, it would save nearly 2 billion gallons of gas per year.

Missionaries Make Great Salesmen

2008-06-27T14:42:00.007-06:00

It's true. Missionaries are really some of the best salesmen out there. They are used to "convincing" people, sounding persuasive, talking about what they believe in, and closing the deal quickly. When I was meeting with the missionaries, I began talking to them in March. They had me baptized in April. I'll admit, I'm a pushover and can rarely refute the advances of slick alarm salesmen or satellite mongers. So getting me in the water wasn't really difficult (oh, that and the church is true...blah, blah, blah.)

I'm in sales. It's what I do, and while I'm not really great at it I still have a killer job. My husband is also a salesman. He's the annoying door-to-door type this summer, until school's back in session. Every day he drives out to new neighborhoods with five other return missionaries, and they storm the place. Now, I've met these other missionaries and they aren't the brightest crayons, if you get me. But they are charismatic, positive, and outgoing. And they all manage to rake in the dough and make a bunch of sales per day. As for my husband, well, if it weren't for his salary I'd have to sell my body on the street. And I probably still wouldn't make enough. So it's a good thing he had his mission to get him used to this door-to-door thing. I however haven't yet been able to really "sell" a whole lot, and I know exactly why. Walking up to a total stranger and trying to convince them that what you have is something they want, is terrifying for me. But missionaries do it for two solid years. So if nothing else good comes from college, at least your mission prepares you for any sales job on the planet!

Is it the fact that they are just "used" to worming their way into people's affections? I don't know missionary tactics very well, but I DO know sales tactics. From what I've seen, getting people to buy a car is just as simple as getting someone to join the church. I'm not bashing the integrity of missionary work AT ALL. Sometimes you need to be like that in order to get people to really listen to what you are saying. If you truly believe in a product/church, it's hard to get across your point without a little manipulation and fancy wordplay.

By the way, if anyone needs TV advertising or lawn care, shoot me an e-mail and I will send you a pamphlet. And a Book of Mormon. And a pass-along card.

Polygamy vs. Gay Marriage

2008-06-25T10:04:00.002-06:00

So, if you've stopped by recently, you would notice a poll to the right of this post. This will be a regular thing, too. But the last two polls I posted asked "What are you're thoughts on the FLDS?" and "What is your opinion on gay marriage?" In both of these polls, readers were allowed to chose more than one answer.

The two most popular answers for the FLDS question were
"They have the same rights as everyone else." (75%)
"They make us [Mormons] look bad." (50%)

The most popular answers for the gay marriage question were
"It ruins the sanctity of real marriage" (40%),
"They have rights just like every other American." (32%)
"According to God, it is wrong."(20%)

While the responses weren't overwhelmingly one way or the other, we can still see that the majority of visitors to this site feel that the FLDS have more rights than gays. Okay, I'm making assumptions on a grand total of around 50 votes. But it's interesting to see that we approve of rights for polygamists, yet not as much for gays. Of course, the Mormon church has both approved of, and banned polygamy. We feel our Heavenly Father, just like in the Bible, both allows and condemns polygamy. However, the church has never approved of homosexuality, perhaps because we assume the scriptures tell us so.

However, why is it not acceptable to either ban, or allow BOTH? If you rule out one, you must rule out the other. If the people involved are over 18 and consenting, why not?

Many Mormons I know would defend polygamy because it's a "loving" marriage between a husband and his wives, meant to "raise seed unto the gospel." They assume that gay marriage is nothing but a bunch of sodomy 24/7. You can't assume that all polygamist marriages are "loving" just like you can assume that gay or heterosexual marriages are "loving." I ask this to Mormons: Do you even KNOW a gay Mormon?

Personally, I don't. And I am really still on the fence about both issues. I simply don't know what is "right." But if people can be in a happy, fulilling, and loving relationship, WHY NOT?

Here's an interesting site. http://www.soymademegay.com/

Let's try to keep open minds. God has made way for change in the church before, but only if we are ready. There's not room for hate in our church.

Women vs. Men

2008-06-23T13:32:00.002-06:00

I am not a "feminist" per se. But equality among men and women is something that I have never thought about because I assumed it was never an issue. Men and women are different. They have different things they are good at, and they think in different ways. They should each have all the same opportunities offered to them, but it's not required of them to partake in any of these opportunities. For example, we all have the right to vote. Whether or not we choose to is up to us. Women have the right to have the same jobs as men. Whether or not they choose to be stay-at-home-moms is up to them. I feel this should be true for all aspects of political and religious laws.

Currently, women aren't called to hold the Priesthood and men are. Much like the church used to not allow blacks to hold the priesthood, women aren't able to. The reason for this, most everyone in the church believes, is because God hasn't revealed that this is necessary. We believe that God inspires our Prophet to lead and guide us, and apparently God hasn't spoken up yet.

I have participated in various debates on LDS forums about this, and have heard all the arguments until the above consensus of "God hasn't revealed it yet" is everyone's ultimate answer. Which is fine. I guess. But that was the case with blacks holding the Priesthood as well. Until God revealed that it would be acceptable for black men to hold the Priesthood. So perhaps one day, God will inspire women to have it as well, we don't know.

While debating, there were a few things that flat out annoyed me. First, women would write about how they "don't want the responsibility" of the Priesthood. I understand that it's not about superiority, or that having the Priesthood somehow makes you "better" than your spouse. Before women were allowed to have complete job equality, I am sure they said "Who would want the responsibility of working that hard all day?" or before women were allowed to vote, "Who would want the responsibility of choosing who to vote for?" That's best left to the men, right?

It's not just the Priesthood that gets me riled up. It's the fact that many Mormon women are bred to think that getting a college degree is a good thing, working is a good thing, but your ultimate decision should be to stay at home with the kids. Personally, this ain't all bad. For the women. I would love to chill out all day at home with the kids. But I feel bad for the guys. They have to work hard all day, and on top of that hold the Priesthood and be expected to be this upstanding guy all the time.

It's not the actual church that condones this. Well, it does in a sense that all of its members live this life, and talk about how great it is, therefore making it impossible to be socially accepted within your church unless you are a doctor or dentist with three children and a wife who stays at home. (Inhale.)

The roles of men and women are great. Different, but great. I don't really want to go work all day. I'd rather be with my children for sure. But I would like to be doing SOMETHING to contribute to the family funds. Working from home, starting a business, what have you. And I'm not so sure that my husband would want to clean up puke and poop all day either. He'd much rather be the bread winner.

Is this true for EVERYONE? Should we really be teaching our Young Women how to sew when we could be teaching them how to start an online business? Should we really be teaching our young men how to tie knots when learning how to change a diaper is obviously something they will do more often? Why don't young men learn to cook, or exchange recipies, and young women go fishing. I am sure this is probably due to varying interests, but you get my point.

We shouldn't be segregating our men and women so much. We also shouldn't be teaching that men are the "head" of the household and what men say is "law." Not everyone does this now I am sure, but the words of many church leaders suggest otherwise. Each person is the "head" of the household. Each have different responsibilities. Each person's word is just as meaningful and viable as the other's. Even the word "Priesthood" condones inequality. Women have nothing like this to call their own. It's always Priesthood this, and "lead your home" that. (P.S. Motherhood doesn't count - that's a biological trait, not a man given right.) What about "Priestesshood?"

My Embarassing Temple Trip

2008-06-19T09:59:00.002-06:00

Last night our ward drove up to the Idaho Falls temple to do baptisms for the dead with the Youth.

I drove up to the church, making sure I had extra underwear and makeup for afterward packed away in my little brown bag in my purse. I was right on time, at 5pm. However according to Mormon time I was 15 minutes early. So I waited around for some others to show up. I was wearing a tea length skirt and flip flops as the other youth leaders arrived in long skirts, heels, and pantyhose. I huddled with the people I knew the most, and watched four suburbans pull into the parking lot. The prayer was given once everyone arrived, and the bishop handed me my temporary temple recommend. (Mine had expired, and I've been too lazy to get a new one.) We piled into one of the suburbans, and of course I sat in the very back next to the luggage. The women had these ugly floral laptop-case-looking bags, which I assumed carried the stuff that I brought in a paper sack. All in all, there were four girls and two guys in the car, all my age.

I looked around and realized that there is a distinct possibility that I was completely misplaced. This may be purely coincidental, but the three women in front of me all had the exact same cropped bob for a haircut, with blonde highlights on top, and a burgundy red underneath. They all wore the loose fitting empire waist shirts with short sleeves that gather at the shoulder. Pantyhose, long skirts, and black tacky shoes. They all started talking about their babies and toddlers. Drool this, poop that. I looked out the window and tried to remember where I was going, and what I was doing. Despite the fact that the Young Adults of the Corn were taking me there.

Once we got to the temple, we sat in pews to have prayer. The temple workers informed us that any endowed members won't be able to get baptized, and would have to help. Therefore all the adults went to get their temple clothes on. I am not endowed yet. So there I sat. The only woman over the age of 17. I talked to the girls, trying to pretend that I ELECTED to get baptized with them "to be cool."

I have only done baptisms for the dead once, so I was rusty. Rusty as in, I looked a little lost the entire time. Thankfully, the endowed sisters realized that I was terrified and guided me along in the least condescending way possible. When it was my turn, I stepped into the nice warm, chlorine filled water. The guy baptizing looked a little scrawny, so I decided beforehand that I would help him out a little and be sure to really "push" off the bottom when he brought me back out of the water. (Let's face it, his arms would get tired.) However, I was entirely too eager and had to be "re-dipped" twice. Frick, even the teenagers could do this part.

After all was said and done, I was basically over my sheer mortification. (What could be worse than being dressed in a white jumpsuit that gets completely soaking wet?) So I gave up on the whole "trying to look cool and knowledgeable" thing, and dripped my way into the locker room. I got dressed, and prepared to do my makeup. However, the slick counters, partnered with my clumsiness, made a fascinating scene as my foundation shattered on the floor. Thankfully, it was that “solid” mousse stuff, so it didn’t get everywhere. But if you ever visit the Idaho Falls temple, and get your foot sliced open by broken glass – that was my fault.

I barely made it to the “movie” room (which is new to me…) and tried to isolate myself in a corner to not cause any further humiliation. All the girls came in and sat next to me. They talked about how many times they had seen “Johnny Lingo,” and I ended up confessing that I had never seen it. They gasped in horror. Or maybe jealousy. Like, “Your mom let’s you watch non-LDS movies?” Yes. My mom.

The scrawny guy that baptized me came in and apologized for not knowing who I was, and having to ask my name at the font. He remembered that I was new to the ward. He said he assumed I was a new “Youth.” That was the best news I heard all day.

Now for the best part. The food. We trekked downstairs to the cafeteria. I was ravenous, but tried to minimize the piling on of food since the ward was footing the bill. I got a normal sized plate of food, with a piece of pumpkin pie. (And I even omitted the scone for diet purposes.) I sat in front of my visiting teacher and her husband only to witness that them, along with everyone else, had done the opposite of me. Three scones, pie, salad, chicken, veggies, Jello, potatoes, milk, soup, fruit, juice, butter, all on one tray. However, ultimately I am glad my eyes weren’t bigger than my stomach as it was more that satisfying. Apparently, people actually fast all day to prepare for this temple food, and I can see why. Yum!

It was a great experience. Embarrassing at times, but really great. And even though the women who drove with me are all a little “Carrie Conformist,” I think I am going to make a concerted effort to make them my friends.

Is This Appropriate?

2008-06-17T09:42:00.004-06:00

Last night before I left work, I stopped to talk to my boss. He asked me about a few days I had requested off. While we were talking about it, I brought up the fact that the reason I would need those days off is because I am getting sealed in the Boise temple to my husband who I am currently civilly married to.

After a long pause and some awkward paper shuffling he said, "Let me just ask you one question...in the Bible it says that Jesus himself said there would be no marriage in Heaven. So why do Mormons think that they need to be sealed for time and all eternity?"

I honestly didn't know. I just said, "I don't know, I'll have to read that scripture and get back to you." He is a Roman - Catholic. During our hour long conversation, he asked me a bunch of questions and talked about Jesus a lot. He had the missionary discussions a long time ago, but never joined the church. He has been surrounded by Mormons his whole life, so he knew all my canned answers. Which are really the only ones I can spout off when I am cornered by my boss. I am very bad at talking to Anti-Mormons. I have no witty comebacks, and I haven't memorized the Bible and Book of Mormon so that I can recite scriptures and explain it all right then and there. It wasn't until after our conversation that I finally remembered all the answers, but by then it was too late. We dicussed the fact that the Bible was translated by people who weren't even around Jesus during his life, or how could we take the words of Jesus at face value since they were written by someone else entirely. We talked about more books of the Bible, and I explained as best as I could. Some things we agreed on, sometimes it seemed like he was de-bunking his own faith in favor of Non-Denominational Christianity. All in all, it was an awkward debate masquerading as a "discussion" between two adults. Afterwards I felt stronger in my faith, but a little hurt even still. He mentioned that the girl who worked there before me was also LDS. She had gotten pregnant and moved to the Midwest so her husband could go to dental school. Yes, the classic Mormon story. Apparently they too had a talk, and she said all the same things I did I am sure.

Anyway, I could talk about what our little "debate" was all day. But the question I have is - Was this appropriate for a boss to ask these questions and start talking about faith in work? It's not like he was attacking me, but he also wasn't having a calm civilized conversation with tolerance and objectivity. He was questioning my faith and trying to prove it wrong by "citing" examples. Maybe I just felt uncomfortable - but does anyone else encounter this?

By the way, I asked my husband about the "no marriage in Heaven" thing, and what it means is that you can't get married in Heaven because someone has to do the work for you here on Earth. Rather, marriage must be done on Earth, it cannot be done in Heaven. I wish my husband were inside my head during times like that.

The Last One on "The Best Two Years"

2008-06-16T08:42:00.003-06:00

I really appreciate the comments made by everyone, but in particular this one made me understand more about why my husband and many people consider their mission the "Best Two Years" of their life.

Please don't be offended by what your husband said. He might have been tactless in how he said it... but I understand what he means!Explaining your experience on your mission is like explaining how good chocolate is to someone who doesn't have taste buds - you just can't quite convey the experience. My mission was the most incredible thing I've done, but I would never want to go through those experiences again. I think the reason that missions are rated as the best two years is because of the level of emotion that you go through. You hit some of the highest points, and most of the lowest points you'll have in your life. You dedicate your life to serving people - many of whom don't want you. And you only have two years to do it.Marriage is quite different. I love my wife with all of my heart. I also love my children with all of my heart, but the experience I've had with them the past two years is quite DIFFERENT from my mission. There are highs and lows, but they are DIFFERENT. I have grown in these past 4 years, but not nearly the same amount of growth I did in two years on my mission.I understand your frustration, but please do not think that that phrase is replacing, or demeaning marriage relationships - they're just quite different things. And think, your husband wouldn't be the man that he is today if he hadn't gone on a mission - it got him ready for you - wouldn't you think that's a great thing?

Thanks a lot for that comment! A mission is definetly a huge step and I respect anyone, man or woman, who has the courage to uproot themselves and cut off almost all communication with the only people they really know and love. Any point in life where you grow and learn should definetly be considered a few of the best years of your life. Hopefully, since we should all be learning and growing, we can call every year a "best" year.

I personally liked the year when I went to Hawaii... and will later enjoy the year where I go to Puerto Rico, Cancun, Tahiti, etc... (If you can't tell, I need a vacation.) But I guess I didn't enjoy the entire year in those cases. Just one week.

More on the "Best Two Years."

2008-06-13T09:21:00.002-06:00

Last night, my husband and I ended up watching the movie "Best Two Years." Since I'm a convert, I really enjoy "Mormon" movies like The Singles Ward, The Home Teachers, and yes even Mobsters and Mormons. Perhaps I don't always enjoy them for quality, but the fact that I even understand what they are talking about now gets me all excited.

Well, this movie was excellent! It made me laugh, it made my cry and was all around just awesome to watch. Before the film started, I mentioned to my husband about the blog I wrote (below) and he became slightly offended. He surely believed that the best two years of his life were his mission. He also didn't have any qualms saying that working for God is more important and far better than anything else in life - even marriage...to me. I was so hurt. And I still am.

Although, after we watched the movie I had even more respect for missionaries. But I still stand strong in saying that your mission should at least be TIED for first place. Granted, working for God is important, and two solid years of thinking and working for and about God are far and away one of the most important things you can do in your life. But still...

What's This "Best Two Years" Crap?

2008-06-12T08:37:00.005-06:00

For men in the church, you've been told that your mission will be the "best two years" of your life. After which, you are told that your mission WAS the "best two years" of your life.

I say that's a bunch of horse pucky, and "Gee, thanks." to the guy who made that phrase up.

What about your wife? Your kids? Your LIFE? You're telling me the best two years of your life was when you were living with various people of the same sex, with almost no family contact? Not to mention all the other "wonderful" things that come along with a mission. (Early to rise, the dress, the door-kocking.) Yeah, I know you're closer to God and you are doing His work - yada, yada, yada. BUT - wouldn't your mission be in like...the top 10 years? Maybe? Of course, no one would admit that.

I would've hoped, as a woman, that my husband would find the first year of his first child one of the best years of his life. Or when he was dating me. Or the first year after we got married. For a female missionary, I would guess that being pregnant, having her first baby, or even getting her first job, losing weight, etc... would be right up there in the "best years" category. You're telling me that the people you spend the REST of your life (and death for that matter) with, aren't even a part of the best two years of your life?

What would it be like to live your entire life knowing that it doesn't get any better than your mission?

I'm being a little brash, and playing the devil's advocate a little here. I know how important, wonderful, and meaningful mission work is. But to put it as #1 and #2 on your "best years" list is a little insulting.

My Very First Lesson

2008-06-09T12:20:00.003-06:00

Now that I am a Young Women's Advisor, I get to prepare a lesson every other Sunday. This past Sunday was my very first lesson in the Mia Maids group. For some "lucky" reason, the Beehives also joined in on my talk on "Temple Marriage."

How appropriate, I thought. I will be talking about something I myself know hardly anything about, because I haven't gone to the temple yet. Me and hubby will be going on 08/08/08.

I made little triangles out of paper illustrating that God was at the very top, and man and wife were the other corners. I researched and prepared my lesson like the manual said. Then I just thought - "Screw it, I won't pretend to teach these girls about something I don't know."

So I figured I would approach it like this:

Me: How many times have you been talked to about Temple Marriage?
Them: About a billion!
Me: Why?
Them: Because it's important!

Here is where I confess that I haven't been married in the temple yet. I explain that I am only civilly married to my husband.

Me: So since you guys have been talked to about it already, why don't you teach me a thing or two?

Since our ward has no chalk in the building apparently, I took my finger and drew a triangle on the board in the chalk dust. At the top I put "God" and on the corners I put "Hubby" and "Me" respectively.

I handed them an answer sheet, and started asking questions.

Me: So, if I never get married in the temple, how long will me and hubby be married?
Them: (hesitant but accurate) Until you die?
Me: Right! And in the temple?
Them: Time and all eternity!!

I continued with questions, and allowed them to answer for me.

Everything was going smoothly until a spry young Beehive started asking the, Umm, difficult questions.

Beehive: So it says we will be Gods and Goddesses. What about everyone else? If I don't get married in the temple, will I be their servants? What if my parents get married in the temple and I don't? Will I be with them? Will I be with my husband? Will I ever see my husband? What if my kids don't get married in the temple?

Another advisor spoke up and offered her opinion on the theory of eternal progression. One thing lead to another, and we all began talking about the galaxy, milky way, where we are, and if there is life on other planets. We came to the conclusion that there is life on other planets, much like this one. And according to the other advisor, they are more advanced than we are. Thankfully, she instructed the young girls not to take her too seriously. They all looked a little stunned. I was picturing lanky green men on a purple mushroom studded planet. It seemed the others were too.

Plus, I don't know what school has been teaching these kids, but among the Mia Maids, Beehives, and two adult advisors, not a single one knew that our solar system is only a very small speck in the milky way galaxy and that the Universe is made up of billions of galaxies like our own. Not sure what they thought, but they were all completely surprised when I informed them. Perhaps thats what you get when you go directly from high school to motherhood.

If I could tell the Young Women anything, it would be this:

1. Go to school after high school. I don't care if you've met your soulmate and want to procreate as soon as possible. There will be a time when you CAN'T, and you will regret that you didn't.

2. Relax. God's watching out for you. If you don't meet "Mr. Right" now, that's probably a good thing. Take time for YOU first. Find out who YOU are. Then concentrate on meeting someone of quality, instead of someone in high school.

3. Don't underestimate family. Many Mormon girls take the whole "family" thing way out of hand and feel that marrying Peter Priesthood and having 6 children is the way it should be done. Do it the way you WANT to. If you don't want children, don't feel pressured. If you do, go ahead. But don't let church stereotypes and cliques influence your life so much that you lose yourself.

4. Get to know the guy before you marry him. There's no church doctrine that says you have to marry him within a few weeks, or even a few months of dating. Mormons are notorious for meeting then getting married a few months later. (I suspect this is due to our vow of chastity however.) But wouldn't you much rather be happy for the rest of your life, than marry some guy you barely know because you're horny? Relax. Take your time. A good rule is to date for a year. That way you get to see him at all seasons, and during all Holidays.

Hopefully, the girls won't be scarred for life and tell their parents that we're teaching them about aliens.

Breaking the Sabbath

2008-06-03T16:15:00.006-06:00

More like completely snapping the Sabbath in half.

As Mormons, we are to act as good abiding Christians and keep the Sabbath Day holy. This means going to church, dressing appropriatley, not shopping, going out to eat, or doing other recreational activities that might require "work" from someone else. Likewise, we aren't supposed to work ourselves on Sunday.

It is NOT a day...

1. To go to Wal-Mart and buy groceries for the week.

2. For inviting over friends and watching rated "R" movies.

3. To play video games all day and leave your family to fend for themselves. (This excludes Rock Band of course, which can be played by everyone... and it's awesome.)

4. To go workout.

5. To surf the internet, unless it's about Mormon stuff.

6. To go to the movies, water park, mall, skiing, biking, hiking etc...

7. For chores. (Woo hoo, a good one!)

Alright, alright. So what the Hell (pardon) do we sit around and do on Sunday?

It IS a day....

1. Of rest from our labors.

2. Of worship.

3. To remember the Lord’s atonement and resurrection.

4. To renew our baptismal covenants by partaking of the sacrament.

5. Of prayer and fasting.

6. Of finding uplift in music, hymns, and songs.

7. To prepare, meditate, and study the gospel.

8. To visit the sick and the afflicted, the widow and the orphan.

9. To strengthen our ties with our living families, do work for those who died without the ordinances of salvation, and write family histories.

10. For missionary preparation and work.

While many of us, I'm sure, regularly observe the Sabbath day properly, I am also sure that some of us have found our way to the grocery store more than once. Monday is swiftly approaching, and work hangs over our heads. Especially for those families with two working parents. Grabbing that necessary gallon of milk, bag of cereal, ground beef, taco seasoning, chocolate chips, cod filets, doughnuts, etc... Seems crucial given that you didn't buy these things Saturday, and tomorrow is SO out of the question at this point. And if you are at Super Wal-Mart the toilet paper, eye-shadow, steering wheel cover, and bolt of fabric seem essential as well. There have also been times where recreational activites on Saturday just weren't enough, and Sunday seemed the perfect opportunity to catch up on that movie premiere. Then there's the couple at Applebee's who shows up around 3pm in their church clothes. You know they are Mormon, first of all because it's 3pm and they aren't out of their church clothes yet. As if that wasn't enough, they each have the "celestial smile" (the visible crescent that the neck of garments makes under the shirt). It's just so much easier to "go out" than get all those dishes dirty, right?

However, we Mormons rarely get in "trouble" for this type of behavior seeing as anyone who bears witness of these transgressions, is in fact, transgressing themselves. I would be hesitant to confront John Smith and his wife if I saw them at Indiana Jones on Sunday. Or if the Bishop came up to me and said, "I've seen you at Alberton's a few times grocery shopping on Sundays."

What about working? My husband could have earned $224 dollars working an 8 hour day on Sunday. Instead we have to tithe 10% and GIVE the money to church!

Okay, it seems like a real crappy deal when outsiders and potential converts look in on our "cultish" little world. I have to admit, I have no personal advice for this particular subject given that I would not be practicing what I preach. (What can I say, I'm not perfect. Surprising, I know.) It's not like I visit the strip club during church, but I have been known to be a part of that family at Applebee's once or twice. I can personally vouch for the blessings of tithing, however.

I do know this...

Devoting ONE day to God, out of the Seven he gave us ain't bad. And 10% of our monthly income could probably buy no more than a few nights out to dinner and a few movies. (Unless you're rich, in which case think about how much you pay in taxes and it'll make you feel better.) The blessings that come from abiding by these rules are astronomical given that we don't really give that much to begin with. It's a small price to pay for eternal happiness.

Anonymous (or not, for that matter) comments with Sabbath Day Breaking confessions will be taken now.

Coming Out of the Closet

2008-05-30T08:06:00.003-06:00

My husband and I were engaged in an interesting conversation yesterday. We were talking about our weekend plans, and noticed that we have no "Mormon" friends. All the people we hang out with (see previous post) tend to really be the polar opposite of what we need to be around. I say "need" because hubby and I seem to take on the role of whoever we hang around for awhile. Like our neighbor, the 19 year old high school dropout with a 3 year old child, no job, no money, who does lines of crack on the hood of her car in the middle of the night with strange hoodlums, has sex with random people she later tells us about, and uses our washing machine almost daily...(inhale) I'm not that bitter, though. We like helping people and sometimes she's fun to be around. All this "helping" however, has her at our house 24/7 practically and her potty mouth rubs off on us. We were already pretty potty-mouthed to begin with, but lately as we have been trying to be "good" we've wanted to change all that. It's also rare to find a couple our age to hang out with who don't already have kids. Our other neighbors are in our ward and they don't have kids yet. Their weekend activities include...World of Warcraft. That's it. Sorry, I can't handle WoW talk anymore than I have endured already when hubby went through that phase.

So what's this "Coming Out of the Closet" I speak of? Well, during our talk about our lack of friends, husband made a good point.

"Do you think that when Mormons get together, they try to be all 'good' and not swear, or get angry, or talk about sex - then when they get home alone with their wife they act just like us? Or do you think everyone but us is 'good'?"

I don't know... Maybe a little bit of both! Is that nice dentist and his perfect wife from church really the way they seem? Or does he say "DAMNIT!" when he spills pop on the carpet? Does she leave the dishes in the sink for whole week? Do they talk dirty while doing the hibbidy dibbity?

All the questions are valid, and I would really like to know the answer from any Mormons who have some insight on this topic.

A Drunken Weekend

2008-05-27T08:15:00.002-06:00

We had an awesome weekend. My husband and I joined his sister and her friends and family (the niece and nephew we spend all our time with) at a local reservoir for camping, hiking, fishing, and just hanging out. We took the speedboat out on the water and fished until sunset. We caught a few bass and my husband learned to cook them on the fire. All in all, it was great.

The only stick in my side was the fact that my husband and I were the ONLY adults not drinking alcohol. For three solid days, there were at least 20 adults (adults mind you, some not over 21) that were so drunk that the smell of alcohol radiated from their pores. There were also about 10 children that were exposed to their belligerent parents stumbling around and waking them up at four in the morning. The drunks would hop in their cars and drive around like it was no big deal. Then they would drive the speedboat around like wild banshees. The children weren’t fazed at all however, as this is apparently a regular practice.

My husband and I tried to keep the children occupied and away from all the drunken banter happening near the campfire. As the weekend rolled on, the children must have figured out that we weren’t drinking, so they followed us everywhere we went.

I constantly get the classic question, “Why can’t Mormons drink? A little alcohol is good for you!”

Why? Because you can’t control yourself. Some people can. Some can’t. Why take a chance and ruin the lives of your children, your family, and yourself? Yes, drinking alcohol is “fun” to you – but what about those around you? YOU may not be an alcoholic, but what about the people you associate with?

I thank God so much for the Word of Wisdom. There is a reason that He doesn’t want us to drink alcohol, and I saw it this weekend. Not that I needed one weekend to understand – my father was an alcoholic. I also hope that those who were raised in the church and were never exposed to it are thankful for the blessings they received.

On a side note, I don’t think we would have had as much fun had we not gone with a bunch of drunken lunatics. We drove around to find some fishing spots, and came upon a “Mormon” campsite. Either that or these people loved polos, capped sleeves, long shorts, and tons of children. They had just as many people as us, but no one was laughing. The children were all confined to the “grassy” area, and the adults were all sitting around in chairs, holding babies. Their campers were new and shiny without a smudge of dirt on them, and the men tended to their wives instead of hanging out with the guys.

If we had gone camping with them, we’d have been the life of the party!

Do the Rich Go to Heaven?

2008-05-22T13:09:00.002-06:00

Matthew 19:23-25, Mark 10:24-26, Luke 18:24-26 all tell of the same story in which Jesus speaks these words.

"Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, That a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven."

"And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God."

"When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?"

"But many who are first will be last. And many who are last will be first."

I live in a primarily LDS area, and many of them are very wealthy. I've noticed this is a trend among the church. Dentists, doctors, lawyers, stock brokers, financial planners, etc... There are SO many upper-class people who are members. I'd like to know your thoughts on this.

The Perfect Calling

2008-05-19T08:38:00.006-06:00

I've had one calling in my life, and that was to run the Enrichment meetings on Wednesday nights. Since I was a nomad in college, that lasted all of about a month. I've never really gotten a chance to have a real calling.

But now that my husband and I have settled down, I am very excited to announce that I have a NEW calling. I will be a Young Women's advisor, more specifically the Mia Maids advisor! Okay - it's not like I'm the RS president, but I seriously think Heavenly Father was inspiring the bishop when they picked this one.

Every weekend I hang out with my 13 year old niece and her friend. First of all because it's fun, and having family over all weekend is what I look forward to. Secondly, I am hoping that by hanging out at my house, I can be a "good influence" and keep them out of trouble. They both consider me to be a best friend (second only to each other), and so they tell me everything. Which is scary because I have found that they have pregnant, lesbian, gay, sexually active, peers who are considered "popular" at their school. Fortunatley, I have also found that they both have good heads on their shoulders. My niece comes from a Lutheran father, and an inactive LDS mother, so she only goes to church when she's at Nana and Papa's house. Her friend isn't a member. But this Sunday they asked if they could go to church with us. Strange, because Mormon church for a 13 year old is like pulling teeth. It's almost that way for me sometimes.

We went to church and I was sustained. Then absolutely the MOST boring talks occured, assuredly reaffirming my nieces former thoughts on church. Her friend tried to pay attention, but was too focused on the fact that she wore sporty capri pants to church instead of a skirt. We wrote notes back and forth, and my husband tried to keep the spirit by playing a matching game. He wrote down the names of people in the Bible and BoM and made us guess their description. The girls and I drew lines from "Adam" to "ate the apple" and from Moses to "parted the red sea." From "Noah" to "built the ark" and from "Moroni" to "buried the plates." We got all the Bible ones right, and got stuck on the more difficult BoM ones.

Then we went to Dairy Queen for Sunday School. I was trying to do my best to convince the girls to stay for Young Women's, which was becoming more difficult as the weekend's boredom came to a head. So we had some ice cream, and sneaked back into church. The talk was on endowments. Since I haven't even gotten mine yet, I thought it was strangely appropriate to talk about it.

My talk next week is preparing to go to the temple, which I will be doing on 08/08/08.

So this calling will not only encourage my niece and her friend to attend church for nothing other than to "hang out" with me at this point, but it will also give me a chance to actually know what Young Women's is like. I never went, so I have no clue what you are supposed to learn. But maybe that's why God wants me there - to learn too! I mean, how perfect is it to have two talks on the two next steps in my own salvation - the endowment and temple marriage! I also will need to get the inactive girls to come to church, which I hope will be easy since 13 year olds tend to think I'm "cool" already... well, I think.

This truly was the perfect calling!

Visiting Teaching

2008-05-15T08:20:00.006-06:00

I have never gone visiting teaching, and I have only ever had them come over twice. Last night was one of those times, and I can surprisingly say that it wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. Sometimes the lovely women of the LDS persuasion tend to be a little withdrawn, shy, or socially awkward. (At least the most I have known.) Thankfully, last night I was able to be myself, talk about the fact that I AM a convert (instead of hiding it), and get a good message at the same time.

One woman looked about 19, but I knew for a fact she had 4 kids. She was pretty, blonde, and had braces. The other was tall, thin, and also looked quite young. She was a married student with no children. I said, "Geez, looks like were off in our own little boat together!" Referencing the fact that we were both married with no kids. At that point I had yet to find another couple like this. We began talking about children and the other woman said, "Yeah, I have the typical Mormon family!"

I was surprised. She was raised in the church, her dad is a bishop, she has the 4 kids and a dentist for a husband - so is it possible to fit literally every stereotype and STILL be Normal? Apparently so. Her and her husband just bought Rock Band, so I am pretty sure we need to be friends. Then I found out she was 32. I wouldn't have even guess late 20's.

It seems that every friend I make is either 10 years older than me (sister-in-law), or 10 years younger (niece) - Who both happen to be my best friends right now.

So... it's possible to be Normal even if you are the "picture-perfect" Mormon family. Whew.

I Went to Baptist Church on Sunday

2008-05-12T08:27:00.003-06:00

Since it was Mother's Day, I catered to my mom who wanted to attend Baptist church. I had forgotten my church clothes altogether, but she said it didn't matter what I wore, because everyone there wears jeans and t-shirts. So, my grandma, my mom, and I all drove into downtown Boise to attend church.

The parking lot was full, and the church was nestled among a little old neighborhood. The moment I walked in, the smell of coffee hit my like a ton of bricks. We entered on the lower level, and looked above us to see a landing that lead into the chapel. The architecture was modern, with lots of glass, metal, and fancy carpet. We went up the stairs. Casually dressed teenagers were chatting in a group, and families were putting their kids into the nursery nearby. In the chapel, people were turning and shaking the hands of their neighbors.

Mom: Oh good, we didn’t miss the meet and greet.

She led me over to the pastor to introduce us. He was shorter, probably in his late 40’s early 50’s, wore glasses, had tan skin and distinguished gray hair. He wore a light blue button up shirt, with rolled up sleeves, and khaki slacks. He wasn’t particularly good-looking, but he resembled maybe a car salesman. He shook my hand, and started up more conversation with my mom, who was ecstatic to be introducing us.

I jumped when the sound of drums resonated through the church. A band began playing an upbeat song. Upon closer inspection, I saw that there was a stage with a full band playing. Electric guitars, drums, microphones, the works… The giant silver organ was behind them, and above it was a projector screen with the words to the current song in a funky font. The woman singing looked almost identical to Carrie Underwood, and people were “gently” jamming out in the pews. We found a spot to sit, and my mom and grandma began clapping. I didn’t really know what to do, so I kind of swayed back and forth, smiling. I then lit my fake lighter and proceeded to hold it up, kind of as a joke. My mom and grandma had no problem copying me, and laughed.

All the while I’m thinking – Hey, this is pretty awesome. We need a sacrament meeting like this!

After two more songs…and 15 minutes of standing, we sat down and another Carrie Underwood-esque woman began to speak.

“It’s Mother’s Day, can I get an ‘Amen!’”

The church responded, “Amen!”

Her small introduction has us saying “Amen” at least twice more before Pastor Bob – or Joe – came up. He began to talk about the story in the Bible of the prophet Elijah, when God told him to go stay with this woman who wasn’t Christian. The point of the story was giving, or tithing. Mom broke out her “study” guide, where there was a list of reasons NOT to give, and the reasons they should be overcome. Here was a synopsis of the pastor’s talk (almost perfectly accurate too.)

“Did you know that rich people give less, and poor people give more? That’s how it always is. The rich give less percentage wise of what they have, and the poor give more of a percent of what they have. Only 2.4% of what people have is given to God. I knew someone that went to a church in (some middle eastern country), and they tithed regularly, no matter how poor they were. They weren’t Mormons, they were Christians….”

I stopped listening for a moment to remove the dagger he just stabbed into my chest. Ouch, man. Then I began thinking – wouldn’t this problem of giving be solved if everyone just gave 10 percent like the Bible says? Funny thing though, my mom and grandma’s tithing goes to the pastors salary, not the needy.

He continued, and I looked around at how quiet everything was. Ah, no kids, I realized. All the children and babies were in the nursery. (This is one thing that we need to do in our church.) The projector screen displayed the points of the pastor’s talk, and funky graphics to go along with it. After more singing and dancing, the sermon was over. While the whole thing was “fun” and the story was actually interesting, I was spiteful.

A few hours later at home, my best friend from elementary school came over, and as always, the topics of conversation were religion and politics. It’s a good thing we all agree politically (go Hillary!), but in our happy little mix was a Mormon, a Jew (my friend), a Baptist, and a Lutheran (Grandma). We are always able to talk about religion in a calm and cool way…without arguing. I tried to explain the degrees of heaven, the spirit world, etc… and surprisingly, none of them objected or argued.

My mom began talking about what she believed in and I was taken aback once again. She didn’t believe that the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit were all one being. She believed they were all separate. I thought Baptists didn’t think that way, and only Mormons believed they were separate. She then began saying how she wants to live on the “new Earth” not on some “cloud” in the skies when she dies. She wanted to live on the terrestrial kingdom? She also said she believed that there was a “place” where everyone goes before they die, not to Heaven right away. I told her all about the spirit world and its purpose. She told me more about what she believed, and none of it conflicted with our teachings. Aside from her dependence on coffee and cigarettes. I found a segue and poured out the story of Joseph Smith, the Book of Mormon, and almost everything. After which she said:

“Okay, so say I believe all that. What if SATAN was actually doing all this? What if Satan was the one who inspired Joseph Smith and are leading all of you astray?”

I replied, “Why would Satan want us to be good people? He’s not inspiring us to go kill people. Mormons are known for being “good people,” so how can Satan really have anything to do with that?”

It all made sense to her. She didn’t say “Sign me up” or anything, but she understood surprisingly well. But I had to start my drive home, and didn’t have time to continue.

I think slowly, she will begin to understand. I want the missionaries to go over there, but I don’t want her to think I am trying to convert her. I just want her to understand more than anything else.

Here’s hoping!

Praying Pays In Little Ways

2008-05-06T13:04:00.003-06:00

Scratch That: TITHING pays in BIG ways.

Just another small note. My husband and I hadn't paid our tithing...like...almost ever. Since we are going to get sealed in the temple here pretty soon (08/08/08!) we started about a month ago. I just transfer the money right over into a savings account, then write a check every two weeks or so.

By giving just ONE check thus far (and having a pile in savings), our monthly income has - get this - nearly tripled! This would be thanks to my husband's job. We sat down to lunch today and he said - "Honey, do you realized we have made over ___ thousand dollars this month?" I was like..."Uh, WHAT?"

We were so scared because we were barley scraping by before. But we sucked it up, and forked over a check, knowing that there are so many people who are far worse off than us - and that God would make sure we were okay. Well, Heavenly Father has definetly blessed us, and it even looks as though I will be making more commission at my job too! While I know things aren't always going to be this good, and they might get better, (both our jobs are basically commission based), I think Heavenly Father will keep a look out if we do what we are asked.

Woo hoo tithing!

Readers Update

2008-05-06T12:57:00.003-06:00

So, in case you were wondering - Here are some stats on the blog that may be of some interest!

We started the end of February 2008.

We get an average of about 50 hits a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Once we got around 200!

There are about 20 subscribers.

Keep it going folks! Woo hoo. (Hey, small numbers but I am still excited.)

Cutting Out Early - A Sunday Story

2008-05-05T08:28:00.004-06:00

Yesterday my husband and I got in a fight before church. He was still laying in bed, and I was nagging at him to get up and shave his "14 O'Clock Shadow" as I put it. He refused to shave - but I refused to let him go to church looking like a caveman, so I told him not to even bother getting dressed.

I stormed out of the house and drove to church, where I sat in the third row all nervous and heated. I practiced my closing prayer in my head, constantly looking back at the door to see if my husband had changed his mind and decided to come. I texted him, but no answer. I was so mad that he wasn't there for my first prayer, because I didn't know when to go up - or what to do really - and I needed his help. When it was time for my prayer, I said something like this:

Our Father in Heaven, we are so grateful for the testimonies heard today
And we are so very grateful for this fast Sunday
We ask that the testimonies heard today will inspire each of us to strengthen our own testimonies
And we ask that our fasting and prayers help those in need, and our own families
We humbly say these things in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

My closed eyelids were shaking, and I was worried that my skirt was tucked into my underwear or something, since the bishopric was sitting two feet behind me the whole time.

It went pretty well, but the moment I was finished I grabbed my purse and bolted out of church and went home.

As I was walking in to my house, I spotted my Mormon neighbor. His wife must have stayed home too, but he was just now leaving to go to church.

Husband was sitting on the couch playing video games. I went upstairs and got dressed in a tank top and shorts, and began to furiously clean the house. I made sure to stomp by the TV frequently, and opened up the blinds to let the sun shine in so he couldn't see the screen.

As my temper died down, I finally broke down and just said - "Hey, let's have a barbecue." So we loaded up the kids (neices, and nephew) and went to the store and bought burgers, hotdogs, charcoal, and the works. We remembered we needed plates, cups, and utensils, so we headed home real quick to grab some.

As we pulled into our apartment complex, we spotted a lady from our ward walking home from church. Her back was to us, so we stopped the car and began slowly creeping backwards, so she wouldn't spot us.

Husband: "I didn't know she lived here too!"
Me: "Oh crap, I think she's coming to visit us!"

We all watched intently from the car, which was stopped in the dead middle of the parking lot, as the woman approached our door....

She passed it up and proceeded to walk through our yard to her house. But then she stopped. And started talking to another woman from the ward!

Me: "Good grief, everyone who lives here is from our church!"
Husband: "Pull into the spot behind my truck, maybe she won't see us."

So I did. But the tactic failed horribly and we were within perfect view. I reversed slowly, and hid behind the truck.

Kids: "Is she gone?"
Me: *creeps up* "Yes!"

We ran inside, grabbed everything we needed, then went to the (deserted) park. We were all alone, and had a wonderful time. Although, Mormon families kept pulling into their houses across the street, which was a bit awkward. We cooked elk steak, burgers, hot dogs, and had smores. Even though I cut out early, and my husband didn't even end up going to church, we had a great picnic.

Sunday Prayer

2008-05-01T11:13:00.006-06:00

For the first time since I joined the church, I will be saying the closing prayer in Sacrament meeting this week. I know it might not be a big deal for everyone else, but I am pretty nervous about the whole thing. I have secretly been practicing in my head, and I just hope I don't revert to my childhood Baptist "Dear Baby Jesus" prayers.

When I pray in front of other people, I usually do pretty well. I start with "Our Father in Heaven..." but try to avoid the prayer template. (Below)

My husband and I were talking about this, and he said, "Just make sure to include lots of "Thee's" "Thou's" and "Thy's."

I laughed. But he wasn't kidding. He said that someone might end up talking to me after Sacrament about it if I didn't. On his mission, a new member got up and started praying without "Thee" or "Thou" and the Bishop talked to them afterwards about including it in their prayers from now on.

"Umm, how about I pray the way I want to? I mean, I won't be waving my hands and "Praisin' Jesus" - but I don't want to sacrifice content for formality. Thinking about adding "thy" instead of "your" will make me get all jumbled up." I said.

He agreed. He just didn't want me to feel bad if someone said something to me. If someone came up to me and said I had to start using "Thee" and "Thou" I might leave the ward.

Yes, there is a certain way to pray. And for those who DO use the formal words and prayer template, I don't blame you. Not only was it the way Mormons were taught, but it's also a way to "fit in." Heavenly Father knows me. He knows that the way I pray is reverent and formal - not fake. If I started using the vain "repetition" that everyone else does, knowing it's not right for me especially, prayer would no longer be about praying. It would be about trying to fit in with everyone else, and sounding like a sheep.

To a point, I will stay within the loose prayer guidelines. But I won't be using the same voice inflection, or trying to input Thee's and Thou's. I want to say a prayer so that people will pay attention instead of zoning out like I do. The only prayers I tend to pay attention to are those that are unique. So that's what I want to be, unique!

The Mormon Prayer Template

Our Dear Kind and Gracious Heavenly Father

We are so very grateful to be able to gather here this Sabbath Day

We are grateful for: (Insert Sacrament speakers here) who were able to (enlighten, regail, bore) us with their testimonies.

And we ask that Thou wildst bless those who were unable to join us.

We ask that Thou would bless our family and friends (with good health, so that they may have the holy spirit with them, to bring something other than Jell-O to the picnic)

And we also ask, Dear Heavenly Father, that we will take the words spoken here today and apply them in our own lives

We humbly say these things in the Holy Name of Thy Son Jesus Christ Amen

Trying to Act Mormon

2008-04-23T15:54:00.006-06:00

I have posted previously about the "Mormon Front." This is the fake, yet somewhat sincere act put on by members of the church. Now, for some this comes naturally and is usually mastered by lifetime members, in which case it's not a "front" but reality. However, for us Normal Mormons, being so conformist is a little more difficult. We may have practiced a prayer or two, put out a few Ensigns on the coffee table before the home teachers arrive, made sure our BoM's look worn in (or at least not dusty), play basketball with the elders even though we hate it, go to scrapbooking nights and try not to cut off a finger, etc... Normal Mormons are very hard to spot, because they are always putting on a "front," and can therefore never reveal themselves unless they know they person they are talking to is also "Normal."

It's strange, because even though I don't like the "front" - I really try to be more "Mormon." Why? Because it's comfortable. Because I want to make friends. Because I want the people in the ward to like me. Doing these things won't guarantee salvation, and they aren't part of the Word of Wisdom. So really, it's debatable on whether or not we should even be trying. So why are Mormons so "cliquey"? Why do the people who AREN'T putting on a "front" do the same things as everyone else? Why don't they ever deviate from the norm a little? Do they have personalities? I don't have any Mormon friends that fit the mold here, so I can't ask.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying ALL Mormons are one way or the other.

Am I brainwashed? I really want a minivan for some reason now. And the thought of having 7 kids really gets me excited. I also happen to love these popular female Mormon activities which include scrapbooking, sewing, cooking, and baking. Is that bad? I mean, from a non-conformist Mormon point of view? My husband has tried all his life to put on the "Mormon" front. Go on a mission, marry a girl when you come back, go to college, go to medical school, be a doctor, be the bishop, die. Basically.

So why do we WANT these things? It's not like having a plaque that says "Families Are Forever" will give you a ticket into the Celestial Kingdom.

What about the Mormon blogging world? There are bazillions of Mormon blogs. Why do we like it so much? Is it the Stay At Home Mom thing? Is that what they do all day? What about all the Mormon bloggers who are all intellectual and deep into doctrine - and post forty seven pages about political issues and BoM translations *snore*...

If I there were a Mormon Conformist Scale, I this is what it would look like:

1. What's a Mormon?
2. I used to be Mormon.
3. I'm not active and I tend to break the Word of Wisdom, but I'm still Mormon
4. I'm sorta active. I go to church a few times a year, but I'm not boozin it up or anything.
5. I'm active. I don't go to picnics and crap though. I do the minimum required of me.
6. I go to church frequently, and participate in activities, but I don't have church friends.
7. I have a temple reccommend and frequently participate in church activites, but I don't have fourteen kids or anything....
8. My spouse is active in the church and our kids are pretty good. Sometimes we'll swear/drink pop/ but on rare occassions.
9. We go to church regularly and fulfill all our callings, tithe, participate in church activites, etc... All our friends, and all our kids friends, are from church.
10. My husband, the doctor, is the Bishop, my wife, the teacher, is the RS president, my ten and a half kids are either on missions or still a fetus.

I'm like a 6. LOL

Earth Day Rocks!

2008-04-22T09:48:00.006-06:00

So, we have all heard the debates about global warming. It's here, it isn't, we're all gonna die, were not all gonna die. We've all heard it, and even I have chosen to ignore many of the pleas made by Mother Earth (and Al Gore.) Reduce, reuse, recycle, use those swirly lightbulbs, walk instead of drive your Hummer. We ignore it because the danger doesn't seem imminent. And we're lazy. However, if you've been out of your house in the past year or so, you would notice the "green" efforts starting to creep up everywhere.

Look at it as if doing things to help the Earth is like the Word of Wisdom. We are to treat our bodies like a temple. While the Earth can't readily dress in modest attire and has actually been naked for the past few billion years, we can still help eliminate the pollution it is subjected to.

Recycle. You know how to do it, but you don't. It's not that hard, just set aside a different container for aluminum, glass, plastic, and paper. Make it an art project if you must. If your city (like my crappy city) doesn't offer recycling services, do it on your own. Use less paper, don't buy cans of soda, re-use plastic bottles, etc...

Use the swirly lightbulbs. They're cheaper, and since we replaced ONE light in our house, our power bill has gone down significantly.

UNPLUG electronics. This also saved on our power bill. Just because they are "off" doesn't mean they don't use a little electricity. Listen to your TV when you plug it in, and unplug it. That sound it makes is energy being used for no reason!

Google it! There are about a bazillion things you can do to help. You don't of course have to do them ALL. But just one or two things can change the world for the better.

Lifetime Member is Skeptical

2008-04-21T08:13:00.005-06:00

I recently had a conversation with someone I know very well about the church. This person was raised in the gospel, and nearly did everything expected of him throughout his life. More recently he has become somewhat of a skeptic of the entire "organized religion" thing which is no doubt a direct result of both arrogance and intelligence. He began bringing up philosophical questions like, "What if you're brainwashed into thinking all this stuff?" and "Everyone just follows the leader, no one has a mind of their own."

I think his dismay stems from a talk given by his stake leader a few weeks ago. This talk was devoted to the "bashing" of video games, and all video game paraphernalia - equating it almost to pornography. This particular guy is of course, very into video games, as are both my husband and I. So in conversation, we were all very angry that a church leader would bash video games so wholeheartedly. Granted, video games should be treated much like food - have in moderation. But that was apparently not the point made.

As he continued talking, and questioning the gospel, Joseph Smith, etc... He mentioned that no one in church ever talks about "Cain's mark" or other controversial things, and church is always the same thing over and over again. My husband turned and said "Hey! My wife is a new member and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk like that." My husband continued to get angry that a lifelong member would be talking himself out of the gospel, when I spent so much time talking myself into the gospel.

I was glad he "defended my honor" in a way. But I stopped him and said, "Honey, there's nothing he can say that will make me change my mind. You forget that he never got the chance to ask questions growing up in the church, and I did." I turned to the skeptic and said, "Please continue. I have already researched everything you're going to say, and I still got baptized."

I hope that lifelong members will continue to ask questions, and not take everything they've learned at face value. Being a skeptic initially myself, I have asked many questions, and received many answers. I also still don't know a lot of things. But there's no point in believing in something if you don't know what it is you believe in. And while we do have a Prophet living today that guides us, it doesn't mean that everyone in the church has that same authority. So don't be sheep.

RegularMormon - Not so "Normal" lol

2008-04-17T09:34:00.004-06:00

Okay, let me introduce myself - I’m just a “Regular Mormon” – (April is more “normal” than I, lol). April was kind enough to invite me to her Blog site to collaborate and make some of my own comments. With her site ironically being named a “Normal Mormon”, and after reading some of her blogs, we have some common attitudes about our Mormon experience and take on things so it only seemed like a fun idea to combine our minds (for good or bad, lol). Where do you fit in – visit April’s blog on “What’s a Normal Mormon, anyway?” Very interesting (and true).

You can visit my website at http://www.regularmormon.com/. The purpose for my site is to allow me an outlet to vent my frustrations on those who criticize the church. I’ve been active in Mormon forums for years and it’s become the same old comment, just a different critic and same old whiny story. It became old repeating myself over and over so I recently developed my own site to get it all out. It’s fairly new – I only have 3 blogs so far but plan on a new one each month. Feel free to email me (mail@regularmormon.com) with any comments, suggestions, complaints, whining, whatever. April is not affiliated whatsoever with my site or comments I make so please leave her out of it if you get ticked off at what I say. If she becomes ticked off she has the power and authority to crush me off this site, lol. Hopefully I won’t cause too much bumps and bruises but you never know. I bark more then I bite.

Okay, so enough with me – I’d actually like to comment on April’s most recent blog on the FLDS issue in Texas. It’s got so I can’t even watch the news anymore. My biggest weakness is watching the suffering of children and the elderly. So I’m kind of torn between the issues of them having to rip out what are now over 500 children from their families. April made some very good points and I don’t want my first post to be of that of disagreement with her, lol, but maybe a different look or point of view at it.

I’m in the Midwest so I’m not around any polygamous communities nor do I want to pretend I know and understand what goes on. What I know is what I hear from the media, which as we know isn’t the most reliable source for a truth seekers. So let me just throw out what I do know – It’s illegal to practice polygamy in the US – so that makes it wrong in the eyes of the government. According to my faith, it’s wrong to practice polygamy today – so that makes it wrong to me. According to what I know of the FLDS religion – they are not practicing polygamy in the strict rules and practices set forth by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young which was received by revelation from God, they kinda made up their “own” rules – so that makes it wrong in my opinion, especially when the profess that they are practicing it the way it was originally, not ture. According to what I also understand – there are proven issues of sexual, mental, emotional and physical child and women abuse going on among the FLDS communities – which is a tragedy in of itself.

Were they right in ripping apart children as young as 5 years old and handicapped form their families? Honestly, I don’t know? Why though is it that the children always have to suffer these kinds of things? I’m glad however that the children are safe now! I’m sad however, especially for the younger children, they don’t feel the security of being with their mother and I’m sure they are absolutely terrified at the moment. I don’t think either way there is any “feel good” answer to solve this. However, rather then to rip away the kids – why not do what the government did to the Mormon Church when they ended polygamy and when others refused to end it on their own? Didn’t the government go after the MEN? They did, hundreds of men and women were arrested and children were taken and placed in foster care. Where are the men in all this at Texas? Rather then using time and resources on separating the children from the problem – why not use the time and resources on separating the PROBLEM from the children – which are the MEN! Let’s end the cycle. Sure, I’m not forgetting about the mothers, I’m certain they are to blame too, at least some of them. But I’m sure there are many mothers especially the younger ones who are innocent in this – a lot of sifting/filtering/counseling to do.

I say a plan should have been made to go in and have an all out “Shock and Awe” attack on getting these abusive men out of the community, rather then the children. Just an opinion – I don’t think there’s no real good answer, either way, even if no raid was done, the children will have to suffer the most and will have to suffer this the rest of their lives. It’s heartbreaking. :(

~RegularMormon – www.regularmormon.com

Issue – The FLDS Raid in Texas

2008-04-16T09:54:00.003-06:00

Many LDS blogs and forums have expressed anger or resentment towards the government for raiding the FLDS compound in Texas and removing all 416 children from their homes and families.

I will spare the details, but basically a 16 year old girl called and reported that she was being sexually and physically abused by her 50 year old husband, which led to the search of the compound and removal of children therein. Google it to find out more…

As LDS ourselves, I am sure many of us are compelled to have sympathy for the families. How could they take ALL the children? As a reminder, the FLDS aren’t considered part of our church. Many non-members generalize and assume all Mormons take part in lifestyles like this. However, this post is meant to describe my utter disgust and disappointment in current church members, as well as those who are members of the FLDS church who are against the Texas raid and support the children being put back into their previous lifestyles.

We like to look the other way, and hope that everything going on in these compounds is inspired of God, or harmless. Or we bite our tongues because of religious rights. No matter how you look at it, there are girls under 15 being forced (albeit brainwashed) to marry 50 year old men, their cousins, men with five other wives, etc… Many men, including leaders in the FLDS church, have been convicted of serious sex crimes. Young women at the prime of the sexual confusion are seduced by men as old as their grandfathers. Young men are weeded out to eliminate the competition for the older men. We all generally know what acts these people hide behind “religion.”

Taking every single child is completely justified and necessary. How are we to determine who was forced into marriage? How are we to know who is being raped? There is no way to know. There is also no way to determine if this single phone call had any merit. However, many people are forgetting that the raid of this compound wasn’t based on one phone call, rather instigated by it. The many illegal acts committed here, protected by the veil of the United States’ legal technicality of “religious freedom” were more than enough to justify it.

So what about the mothers and children? I am sure all the children want to be back with their families – even the abused ones. No child wants to be ripped away like that. I am sure there are plenty of teenage girls who are wishing they could be back with their husbands/fathers even. But what about the ones who aren’t? What about the young girls who are forced to be mothers at 13? What about those who suffer every day watching the husband they love have sex with other women? What about all the others? Will the children readily admit that they want out? No, of course not. Who wants to be ripped away from their family, and persecuted by the only people they know and love. These children are coached by their parents, and therefore even when they want out, won’t admit it to authorities. What about the ones who want to escape, but can’t? We need to give all these children a chance to realize that the only thing they know is illegal.

I am fully in support of the freedom of plural marriage for consenting adults. There’s really nothing we as a country can do about that. However, children are too young to know right from wrong, especially if their parents can’t even tell the difference. Allowing this behavior to go on is simply irrational. We need to give these kids a chance to realize that they don’t have to do this. Taking them all away was the only solution, and will hopefully trigger more investigation.

A Funny Day at Church

2008-04-13T21:39:00.004-06:00

We had kind of an out-of-the ordinary day at church today. While the talks and subjects weren't particularly memorable, everything that made us not pay attention was....

Today's speakers were all women, because of the new Young Women's leaders. The moment they started to speak, the bishop fell asleep and all the old men broke out their books and started reading instead of paying attention. Jerkoffs. Sorry - that's just rude.

We had three speakers, and every one of them cried. Like, almost indecipherable wailing. The first girl didn't even divert her eyes as she reached over to the tissue box. The other two felt it necessary to dig into their nose with the tissues. Ew.

In sacrament we were starving. A Samoan woman got up to talk, and she made us want Hawaiian BBQ really bad. (I'm not being racist, she just reminds me of a lady that worked at a Hawaiian BBQ.) I couldn't even focus because I wanted spam musubi so bad. Then in Sunday School we were talking about the book of Jacob and the allegorical story of the olive branch. I said "Mmmm, olives..." And my husband followed up with, "Oooh. Olive Garden sounds so good." THIS is why you should eat before church.

Our Sunday School room is directly underneath the primary room. We can hear the piano just as well as if it were sitting right in front of us. Not to mention the thunderous roar of little footsteps and shuffling chairs. They sang "I Am a Child of God" FIVE times in one hour. I don't even know what to say about this.

I looked over at my husband and he was staring off into space, mouth gaping open and eyes wide. I couldn't help but laugh out loud, then quietly ask him what the heck he was doing. He said, and I quote, "Oh. I was thinking of a way to Jackie Chan myself out of a situation. I was fighting the guys, and coming up with moves to kick their ass. But somehow I end up dying in the end anyway."

We are going to be getting temple prep classes from an older couple at church, and the Bishop introduced us after sacrament. I reached out my hand to introduce myself, and Mr. Eggbert shook it lightly and said, "I need to talk to your husband..." and almost flung me out of the way by my arm. I stood about three feet away, feeling very insulted. He then asked if my husband would say a prayer in church next week. I thought, "Ha Ha!" Then he turned to me and said, "And after that, it's your turn." These are going to be some interesting temple prep classes.

Ah good times.

Mormon Church Cliques

2008-04-11T10:33:00.006-06:00

Sitting in church is much like sitting in a high school cafeteria. While the groups aren't allocated by geography, one can generally decipher which Mormon Clique they belong to. Of course this varies by ward, but you get the point.

1. The RM

Return Missionaries can often be identified easily as they still have "leftovers" from their mission. Leftover suits, shoes, haircuts, bibles, etc... They are often enthusiastic about the gospel, reverent, and exceedingly haughty at times. They also have wandering eyes, and tend to flirt.

2. The Convert

Also an enthusiastic bunch. Their prayers tend to be more unique, and sometimes strange. They get funny looks on their face when certain lingo is used, like “CES.” They REALLY pay attention in Sacrament and love Fast and Testimony. They haven’t quite mastered quick scripture lookup or taking the water gracefully.

3. The SAHM

This is the “Stay at Home Mom.” Quite a popular group. They can usually be found in the hallway or in the back of the church with a child on their hip speaking with other SAHMs. Can’t really pay attention due to the amount of unruly children they try to keep at bay. They often do more church activities on days other than Sunday, perhaps to make up for lost time.

4. The Overly Worthy Priesthood Holder

This guy could be mistaken for a missionary if it weren’t for his age, or the children attached to his ankles. He’s often quite attentive or out in the hallway holding the children, as to allow his wife to listen to sacrament. He’s outspoken in Sunday School and Priesthood, and is kind to everyone in the ward. The bishop is usually (hopefully) part of this group.

5. The "Elder"ly

Most often found asleep, this group tends to be those over the age of 70. They’ve been going to church so long that it seems they’ve heard it all. While they’re often inspiring to family members, their talks can get long and off-topic. They’re intelligent about the gospel, and can answer almost any question, although they tend to stick to the “old ways” and don’t like change.

6. The Disgruntled Teen

Usually dressed in trendy outfits, these teens are always on the fashion forefront but feel the way about church much like other children do. They are annoyed at three hours of God talk, and by members of these other various groups. They DO believe in the gospel, and can recite their testimony almost as naturally as chewing a bite of food – without thinking. But the glum, somewhat defeated look on their faces suggests otherwise.

7. The Enthusiastic Teen

The one that has had nothing but positive experience thus far, and are always involved, paying attention, and perfectly adhering to the Word of Wisdom. Their ultimate dreams are to attend BYU, get married/go on a mission, and have children. They are heavily equipped with highlighters and extra reading material, and take notes like they’re practicing for the SAT.

8. The Intellectual

These people often “look” like they are paying attention in church, but are really gazing at the speaker and thinking of something else entirely. They generally think that if they stare in the podium’s direction, that no one is aware of what they are doing. Perhaps they’re thinking of our dependence on foreign oil, perhaps the architecture of the building, perhaps the ingredients of tonight’s dinner – whatever it is, it ain’t about God.

9. The Questionable Couple

This is the guy that comes to church with his salmon colored shirt wrinkly and un-tucked, his navy blue pants three inches too short, and a bow tie. His wife is wearing orange fishnet tights, silver shoes, and a neon green dress. Okay, maybe you’ve never seen them – but they are in my ward and I think they might be from another planet altogether. We must have some good missionaries out on Mars.

Praying Pays in Little Ways

2008-04-10T08:13:00.004-06:00

Yesterday my husband and I got in a fight. It was about money of course, and wasn't worth all the fuss. But of course I decided that I needed to pray right then and there for a little help. Help with money, help with marriage, or just help with a little feeling of peace. Reading the scriptures tends to give me peace, so that's what I decided to do. I took out my Bible/BoM/D&C/PoGP all in one version, closed my eyes, gave it a few twist and turns, then opened it and pointed to a place on the page.

This is what it said: Ezekiel 16:49

"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."

Hmm. Perhaps this is why I'm not getting a "break" so to speak. I, along with many others I'm sure, have problems with all of these things. I buy, eat, and waste a lot of food. I rarely exercise or do things other than work, clean a little, partake in various hobbies, and sleep. And I haven't been tithing. Granted, we already have a chunk of change set aside for it this month, but we haven't actually handed over a check.

Any step in the right direction, is a good step. My husband called me after awhile apologized, and cooked dinner. Then, we started the Book of Mormon at the very beginning. Our goal is to have it finished by August 8th of this year. I will let you know why in the next post!

You Know You're Mormon If...

2008-04-07T09:29:00.007-06:00

I got these from a Facebook group actually. They are HILARIOUS. Feel free to add more!

Its not "the early bird catches the worm" it’s, "the seminary student gets into college."

You say "Provo", "Salt Lake", or "Palmyra" without the state and automatically assume that the whole world knows where those places are.

There is a son on a mission and mom is pregnant with another.

You know what a "fireside" is.

8 kids in a family is "average."

Your 14th and 16th birthdays are the best birthdays of your life.

You think "heck" is the place for people who do not believe in "gosh."

You know how to pronounce and spell Mahonri Moriancumer.

You know what ZL, DL, AP, PPI, BYC, SYC, YSA, GA, EQP, EFY, YC, CTR, and BYU all stand for.Youth Conference, EFY, and Girls Camp are the best 3 weeks of the year

Mormon movies are amazing and Kirby Heyborne is your hero.

You drive into the church parking lot and at least half the lot is filled with 12 passenger vans.

You "Bless this food to nourish and strengthen" your body before eating doughnuts.

Going 24 hours without eating is no longer a challenging thing.

A "Caffeine High" is eating a king size chocolate bar

Parents are disappointed if their kid "only" got into Harvard.

You have more than one aunt/uncle that is younger than you.

The "EFY Medley" is your favorite song

"Is the spirit telling you what its telling me?"

"I can't...I'm Mormon" has been an excuse on more than one occasion

Piano was your first instrument

Your mom is pregnant at the same time you are

You have 3 or more BYU sweatshirts/shirts

Being a "rebel" is drinking Mountain Dew more than twice in one week

There are more women pregnant in your ward than not

You consider a great date watching The Princess Bride!

The laying on of hands has nothing to do with physical violence.

You've ever pushed 120mph in a 55mph zone on the way to a church dance

You've ever had your alarm set for 4:45 am

Your first date was when you were 16 to a Church Dance and your parent was a chaperone.

All your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape

You think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups

At least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house

You have never arrived at a meeting on timeYou have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries

You've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory"

You think it's all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing

You have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining

You automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers

You go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi

You arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there

You say "the scriptures" instead of "the bible" and people are confused

You knew how to iron your own white shirts/dresses before you were ten

The best present on your eighth birthday is a set of scriptures with your name EMBOSSED on the front cover

You are the only person in your high school's theatre department who knows how to tie a necktie . . . and have to do so for every guy wearing one on stage . . . and you're a girl

An evening's hi-jinks involve "heart attacks" or "forking"

You go to college and only know how to cook dishes in amounts of seven portions or more

You know exactly what Beehives, Mia Maids, and Laurels are, and have to explain what those are to your friends

Your family owns a wheat grinder, bread machine, and vacuum packer

You think the only sensible way to buy groceries is in bulk

You know how to make brownies/cookies/frosting/muffins/pancakes/waffles from scratch

You know what "from scratch" means

Your family's satellite subscription package includes BYU Radio and BYU-TV

You have more than one religious picture/statue in your home including in your bathroom and the rooms of you and your siblings

You have never had your own room and will never have your own room because you go from home to college and college to marriage

You think that sharing your dorm room with only ONE roommate is a luxurious arrangement

You carry a military size Book of Mormon in your purse so that you have something to read if you get stuck waiting somewhere

You think it's rude to call or come to someone's home unannounced on Monday night

You look forward to yearly temple trips with Christmas-like anticipation (and then when a temple is built ten minutes from your house you drive by at every opportunity)

You know that the "golden dude" on top of the temple is NOT doing a karate kick, but is holding a trumpet

Your family spends more than 500 dollars on groceries each month at Costco

Boys in your family are not allowed to drive until they reach Eagle Scout rank

You think foreign language class in high school is good practice for your mission

Your home room class (which was Seminary) raises more money during the Penny Drive than the rest of the school . . . combined

You feel like you've really missed out if you get sick on Sunday, especially if it's BYD Sunday

You plan on spending your retirement years on missions

Your favorite lunch hang-out is the Seminary building

Your life is not complete without 1) passing off all six years of Girl's Camp 2)Earning your Young Womanhood Recognition award 3) Graduating Seminary 4)Graduating Institute and 5) Getting married in your favorite temple

The only experience you've had with a Margarita is getting baptized for ten of them on your first temple trip

You get these jokes

What's a Normal Mormon Anyway?

2008-04-02T21:47:00.009-06:00

Initially, Normal Mormons was created to be a discussion area for members of the church who more or less identified with the rest of society, rather than other Mormons. "Normal" means conforming to the standard or the common type. I meant "conforming to the standard or common type of society." We can't necessarily recite scriptures on a whim, we don't all know how to make 37 different types of fruit salad, we sometimes watch rated "R" movies, we don't all have perfectly pleated suits or curled bangs. We love the gospel and strive to live as righteously as possible. We are also REAL, we have substance, we have questions, answers, and are outspoken, inquisitive, and are tough enough to withstand the persecution brought onto us by others. We don't discount every argument against our faith without research, and we recognize that we aren't the smartest or most perfect people on Earth. We also don't try to confuse people with fancy words and scripture spouting, or put on a fake front to impress people. We also have a sense of humor. And we're sexy.

However, it can also be taken the other direction of course - conforming to the standard or common type of church members (the Jell-O mold members) and this isn't looked poorly upon at all by myself, at least. If anything I strive to be a little more like them. These members include those who were raised in the church, have never missed a Sunday, were consistently surrounded by the gospel as children, always have a brilliant and in-depth plan for Family Home Evening, and always highlight their scriptures. They were married in the temple, their house is impeccable, and they're college graduates or stay at home parents. We all know what makes a conformist Mormon. But these are also "Normal Mormons."

Whatever category you fall into, rest assured there is always room to learn, grow, and improve. Each group could probably stand to take some pointers from the other. The ultimate goal is to simply grow in the gospel, become closer to Heavenly Father, our families, and live life to the absolute fullest. In the mean time there will be bumps, hurdles, times of praise, and beautiful little moments that make the life given to us worth it.

Enough serious stuff, let's party. *breaks out the Scattergories*

Praying Pays in Little Ways

2008-04-01T14:31:00.004-06:00

Hey that rhymes. Which is why it's the title for a new weekly post at Normal Mormons. (We like rhyming here.)

This post will be dedicated to demonstrating how daily praying and scripture study directly contributes to...dare I say it...good fortune. I know that's not exactly how it all works. I also know that we shouldn't pray and study scriptures for this sole purpose. The point is to gain a deeper understanding of the gospel, and a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. I have a firm belief however, that he'll throw us a bone every once in awhile too. Ahem, we refer to them as "blessings." E-mail your blessings to me at normalmormons@gmail.com if you would like them in one of the weekly posts. Here are mine for today.

1. I really hate my cell phone provider. I won't name names, but it starts with an "S" and ends with "print." They have the worst customer service and the phone I have never works. It is so bad that I have seriously contemplated paying the $300 to get out of my contract. Today I went into the store because my battery wasn't charging. By the end of the whole deal I got a new free battery, a cheaper plan without a contract, and a 25% discount per month. (Because of where I work.)

2. My husband has been helping his older brother run his road construction business during his spring break. 15 hour days for the last 10 days he's been doing hard labor. They weren't getting any help from other people in the company, so they took matters into their own hands and handled the situation. Because of this, my husband couldn't study for a big test. The impossibly strict professor that runs the class miraculously pushed back the test at my husbands request.

3. During this post, my husband called. He said after all the crazy things that happened in the situation above, the person who runs the company in our city quit. My husband stepped in and is now running the company and going to school full time!

We have been having difficulties financially, so all these really came at the perfect time. We always have prayed nightly together (which I strongly reccommend) but only recently have read the scriptures and had a "mini-lesson." I think this has helped lead us in the right direction.

E-mail your blessings to normalmormons@gmail.com and see them in next weeks post.

Living the Word of Wisdom - At Work

2008-03-31T09:36:00.003-06:00

At work, or even college, it’s incredibly difficult to constantly live the Word of Wisdom unless you go to BYU or work in Mo’town’s. (i.e. UT, ID, AZ.) Even still we find ourselves surrounded by people that aren’t members and challenge our abilities to adhere to the gospel.

While I live in Idaho, I don’t work with any members. Since I am in the media business, there is a lot of “going to lunch” with clients and co-workers. There are also business after-parties and luncheons. So, you can imagine that the food isn’t the only reason to get together.

In the morning it’s coffee, and all other times it’s tea time or happy hour. I sit and sip my Diet Coke (even though I’m not really following the WoW there either) and watch others drink lattes, iced tea, and margaritas. I get offered coffee still every morning by who ever is getting their morning fix out of the work thermos, since my office is closest.

It’s not that I want to drink, it’s just the weird looks and questions I get from co-workers that make the situation uncomfortable. Like they can’t believe that I am LDS. Maybe I don’t “look” LDS. I can’t imagine living in a bigger city where almost no one even knows what a “Mormon” is. Saying “Oh, I don’t drink” isn’t usually enough for the big city folk. They follow up with a “Why not?” and simply reply “What for?” instead of giving them the first discussion.

It is an inevitable truth that alcohol brings people together, much like food does. The person who has a drink with the boss after work is sometimes the forerunner for a promotion. Spotting a co-worker at a party is a sure-fire way to have something to talk about Monday. I just want to shout from the rooftops that “Hey! None of it is worth it!” If Jack Daniel’s gets a promotion for boozin’ it with the boss, I would reconsider my place of work. If Jack and Captian Morgan are bestest friends because they hooked up with the same chick Friday night, just be glad it wasn’t you they hooked up with.

There is nothing good that comes from coffee, tea, or alcohol. I used to argue otherwise, I will admit. “Tea has antioxidants!” So does a handful of blueberries. “One glass of wine is good for your heart.” So is an aspirin.

I have a deep and sincere feeling that one day the rest of the world will actually see the same as we do. People will begin to see the repercussions of all these things. For example, tobacco was forbidden by the Mormon Church long before the 1900’s, when people smoked like chimneys and hadn’t a care in the world. Same with pregnant women and drinking. They used to think it was a good thing to have a few drinks “for the baby!” That was just in this past century. Think about what will happen in the next few centuries. We will look back and say, “I can’t believe anyone ever smoked cigarettes or drank alcohol!” We are getting close to the no-smoking thing with the “truth” campaigns and smoking restrictions in public places, etc…

There are also a few things I think they need to add to the WoW. Like food. Rather, bad food. I know the prophets have stated that eating food in moderation is good. But I think we need something more concrete. With the diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc… I wouldn’t be surprised of Thomas Monson and God had a little chat about adding “Twinkies” to the list.

I also think that “tanning” should be outlawed in general. I used to do it all the time, but when I really thought about it – it’s exactly like smoking. It causes cancer, it causes wrinkles, it’s somewhat addictive (tanners know what I mean), and it’s a “fad.” Smoking was a fad, and now look at it. Being tan is a fad, too. Whoever says that it’s good to get a “base tan” before you go out in the sun so you don’t burn, is an idiot. Sorry. Use sunscreen!

Anyway, the point is – if you are having trouble keeping the Word of Wisdom in an environment that isn’t ideal, don’t fret. The stronger you are, the more blessings will fall upon you. I have respect for members who are minorities in their colleges and towns. I also hope that SAHM’s realize how lucky they are. I know it’s not easy to be one, but I also think I would be closer to the gospel, God, and the Word of Wisdom if I were a SAHM. Maybe that’s why wives are so awesome and have to keep their working husbands in line. (Just kidding husbands.)

Alright, until next time.

Preconceptions

2008-03-29T11:10:00.006-06:00

I had a meeting with someone yesterday about a project I am doing. We had only talked over e-mails, and I met him once at a luncheon. Since he's considerably smarter than I am, I needed his help. Initially, I didn't really think about whether or not he was a member of the church. When he canceled a meeting to go to "Bryce & Zion," I figured that he must be. I don't really know why. Maybe because he mentioned he has a wife and two children and looks like he's in his late twenties. Maybe because he went to Utah for spring break. I don't know. I have really good Mo'dar.

I was meeting him at his house, since he works from there. I drove around the neighborhood, looking for number 77. I spotted it, then went to the end of the street and turned around. I hadn't realized it, but the stake center was literally a three minute walk away. I knocked on the door and he answered, inviting me in. His house was warm and clean, and smelled like Pine-Sol. Playing on the hardwood floor was his son, Clay. Ironically playing with a variety of play-dough. His daughter Bryce was getting dressed in her room, but poked her head out to introduce herself. We sat down in the kitchen, in his "office" and we made small talk.

Me: "So I almost got lost up here! My husband and I actually used to go to the ward over here... is it still a student ward?"

Him: *blank stare* *smirk* "I actually wouldn't know." He blushed and smiled a little.

Me: "Oh...ah...yeah because I used to get lost up here a lot when we went to church." I said, taken slightly aback, and trying to make up something to change the subject

So, he wasn't a member. I immediately felt foolish. I looked around his house. Nothing. No Jesus, no Mormon paraphernalia, nothing. Just everything else a Mormon might have. Family pictures, decoration, etc... His daughter ran out in a skimpy tank top. I looked at his diploma, he was from Florida. I was totally wrong and made an ass of myself.

Moral of the story. Assumptions make and ass out of...well, you know.

Food Storage: The Reason I Stink at Being Mormon

2008-03-27T10:36:00.005-06:00

Hello! I'm Jia and I'm a Mormon. Normal might be a bit of a stretch though. Either way I was asked to be a contributor here at Normal Mormons and I am very honored by that request. (I normally blog over at Modern Molly Mormon, and I think it's okay for me to link my own blog, because the Normal Mormon herself blogs over there as one of my contributors.)

Anyways, I wanted to do a semi-follow up to the last post. Converts are very different from life long Mormons. But there are also the small things in us all that makes us a little less "Mormon". I know a Bishop who drinks Dr. Pepper like it's going out of style. A Relief Society President who doesn't scrapbook. A Primary Teacher who doesn't know the Primary songs. And me my friends? I hate food storage.

Don't get me wrong, I like having food storage, and eating food storage, but the moment anyone says "Cannery" to me, my brain somehow shuts off completely. Almost the same way it does when I hear "Genealogy". I don't know how to do it, so I shut down a bit and leave it to the pros. However, one day I'm certain I'll be called do head up the Cannery or something along side it, therefore I must learn! But how? Afterall, going up to anyone and saying, "Excuse me, but what's a Cannery?" Just labels you a convert! And since I've actually been a member for over 8 years, it might also label me pretty stupid too LOL!

But I have however found some great links on the internet to provide information regarding food storage for those of us who are a little more inept than the rest of the congregation:

Food Storage Calculator
Order Food Storage Online
The Church's Preparation Website
Food Storage Pamphlet (Click on a language to download the PDF)
Frequently Asked Questions
Cooking with Food Storage

Birth Mormons vs. Converts

2008-03-27T08:09:00.003-06:00

I haven't been in the church long enough to really notice a distinct segregation between LDS converts and those raised in the church as groups. I have noticed at on a case by case basis, the differences between the two are quite funny.

I married into a family that were all raised in the church. I however, am a convert. Along with his family, it seems the large majority of the members are alike in several ways. While I love the church, the gospel, and everything about it - there are a few things that I cannot succumb to in order to "fit in." Of course, there are a few things that I am innately good at that I enjoy doing that just happen to be congruent with popular Mormon culture. Here are a few things I do differently:

1. I don't pray like everyone else.

And thank the Lord. Everyone who was raised in the church (that I have seen) pray's the EXACT same. It's quite annoying. "Our dear kind and gracious Heavenly Father we are so very grateful thy spirit....we ask thee to bless...blah blah blah." They also use the EXACT same inflections in their voice every time. I know there is a certain way you should pray, but I'm sure God didn't want us all to sounds like Mo'bots. Mix it up a little people. God made us different for a reason.

2. I don't wear floor length skirts, brown with black, floral print, have curled bangs, and other fashion faux pas.

Why? Because they are all hideous. I understand we don't go to church to make a fashion statement, but the statement you make is really "I don't care enough about myself to try." Yeah kids, work, school, being a SAHM is always stressful and we don't have time to dress for the prom. But a little effort in the fashion department couldn't hurt.

Things I do the same:

1. I blog.

Blogging in Mormon culture is just a given. Especialy for SAHMs that have nothing to do. Even though I am at work right now. *oops*

2. I'm crafty.

I have always been really crafty, artsy, etc... Until I joined the church and now I am like everyone else. Actually, I would say I am craftier than many people in the church anyway.

3. I like cooking, cleaning, and being a good housewife.

I am not necessarily GREAT at it yet. But I like the feeling of responsibility. I hate the feeling of being TOLD to do it, or EXPECTED to do. Especially because I work full time.

Of course these are just some examples. Those who were raised in the church also have a certain air about them. It's a little muted, low contrast, vanilla, etc... But I think converts also have that. I go out of my way NOT to tell people I am a convert because the respect level shoots downward, and the judgement begins to rise. No one talks about it of course, because people in the church tend to put on the "Mormon Front." It's a wonderful, perfect gospel with imperfect people following it. Which is what bugs me about those who leave the church claiming that they felt ostracized. Just because you don't like the people, doesn't mean you shouldn't follow the gospel. But that's another post.

My statements here aren't to be completely taken seriously, and I am not attempting to categorize every single LDS soul into categories. Like I said, my husband's family was raised in the church and mine was not. His family had seven children, mine had two. Among the nine kids are 4 college graduates, 3 felons, 1 high school dropout, 2 working mothers, 1 divorcee, 1 in prison, and 1 doctor. Of course these overlap a bit, but it's still quite a mix. And I bet you can't guess who is in which family!

The Mormon Baby Name Game

2008-03-25T16:35:00.002-06:00

I got this from a non-affiliated site called Normal Mormons Husbands (go figure). It's hilarious.

Play The Mormon Baby Name Game!

Let the fun begin! The Mormon Baby Name Game is now available. The possibilities of this thing are endless. Please feel free to score your own name, children's names, friend's names, future baby names, etc. to see if we can collectively come up with the perfect Mormon baby name.

If you are understandably uncomfortable posting full names in your comments, just post the last initial.

Good luck, have fun, and keep the comments coming! Without further ado, the Mormon Baby Name Game:

The "Here Comes Pat!" Test: Give boy name to boys and girl names to girls:

10 pts. - No mistaking the baby's gender (Nathan, Robert, Rebekah, Elizabeth).
5 pts. - Some ambiguity, but the name is predominantly associated with one of the genders (Courtney, Shannon, Jerry).
0 pts. - Interchangeable between boys and girls (Pat, Chris, Taylor, Cameron, Jamie).

The "Queen Lili'uokalani" Test: Do your child a favor and make the name easy to spell. Especially if the name is somewhat common, do not alter the spelling just to be "original":

10 pts. - Common name, common spelling (Samuel, Tyler, Grace, Faith).
5 pts. - Most people should be able to spell and pronounce the name. If the name is hard to spell, it is not our fault (Sara vs. Sarah, Erik vs. Eric).
0 pts. - We took a perfectly common name, replaced common letters with "cute" letters, and our child will change the name the day they turn 18 (Nykkol vs. Nicole, Jaysun vs. Jason)

The "Mean Jay" Test: Think like the meanest kid in school and ask yourself, "How could I make my kid cry by using his/her name?"

10 pts. - Almost impossible to logically make fun of the name (this should be a very rare score because mean kids can be very, very evil).
5 pts. - I could see how the name could be twisted to be made fun of, but our child should not grow up hating us because of it. (Earl can easily be called "girl", "squirrel", "hurl", etc.)
0 pts. - Bullies won't even have to try (Melvin will get constant wedgies, for example).

The "Helaman Chapter 5" Test: Give your child a name to live up to, and she just might do it!

7 pts. - The name is prevalent in the scriptures or in church history (Leah, Rachel, David, Joseph).
3 pts. - Minor scriptural name and/or church history reference. At minimum, the name does not have a negative connotation associated with it.
0 pts. - We are praying the child does not live up to the namesake (Jezebel, Osama, Paris, Cain, Madonna).

The "I'm Changing My Name to Salem" Test: Avoid names that are so popular that your child will share a name with half of his/her kindergarten class. Click here for the list of most popular names (you can even change the year as needed):

7 pts. - The name is ranked #75 or higher.
3 pts. - Ranked between #21-74.
0 pts. - It is currently in the top-20.

The "Logistical Nightmare" Test: Avoid making up names that mean nothing, but sounds "pretty" when said:

7 pts. - Traditional, recognizable names (Daniel, Samantha).
3 pts. - Sounds like a name, but has no real roots (Tristan, Jalynn, Dania, Briley).
0 pts. - That's a name? (Zephyr, Temptress, Efren, Traxler, Lyric).

The "Back Porch Shout" Test: If you yell the child's name from the back porch or in a crowded mall, how well does the name carry:

7 pts. - The name can be clearly distinguished amidst a cacophony of sound - usually three syllables (Jennnn-iffffff-errrrrr! Zaaaakkkk-aaaaaa-REEEEE!"
3 pts. - The name carries well, but could get drowned out - usually two syllables (Maaa-thew! Haaaa-naah!)
0 pts. - The name will get confused with all of the other noises out there - usually one syllable (John! Anne!)

The "Moe's Tavern" Test: Avoid giving your child a first and last name that make an embarrassing combination (e.g. Amanda Huggenkiss) or a repetitive first and last name (e.g. John Johnson).

5 pts. - No embarrassing first name/last name linkage.
3 pts. - With a little creativity, the combination could sound funny.
0 pts. - We have always loved the name Stormy Weathers and we are sticking to it!

The "I Got An F In Geography" Test: If the name is found on a map, don't put it on the birth certificate.

5 pts. - No city, state, country, peninsula, or fjord shares a name with your child.
3 pts. - A little cross over with the name of a place, but the baby is not being specifically named after the city/state.
0 pts. - The baby is blatantly named after an important location.

The "La-Utah" Test: Do not put the Utah-inspired "La-" before the baby's name.

5 pts. - Does not start with "La-" (Mitch, Sadie).
3 pts. - The name starts with "La-", but not in the corny Utah style (Larry, Lauren).
0 pts. - We took a perfectly normal name and slapped "La-" at the beginning (LaVern, LaDell, LaSarah, LaBrandon).

The "Ghosts From the Past" Test: The child's name cannot be the same as a former boyfriend, girlfriend, or high school nerd.

5 pts. - The name carries no baggage with it.
0 pts. - The name brings back bad memories for one of the parents.

The "Wayne-Ray-Lee" Test: Approximately 63% of all male inmates have Wayne, Ray, or Lee in their name somewhere. Avoiding the name could mean preventing a visit to Juvie in 14 years:

5 pts. - Free of all such "perp" names.
3 pts. - The first and middle names bleed over to include one of the names (Kyle Erik, Ezra Yusuf).
0 pts. - We are naming our son after grandpa Wayne, even if he is not granted parole to attend the blessing.

The "B.A.D. Initials" Test: Every time your child beats the high score on a video game or gets a new set of scriptures, his initials need to be entered into the system or embossed on the outside cover in gold leaf. Don't embarrass the lad with lame initials:

5 pts. - The initials do not spell or mean anything, especially something that could be made fun of (M.J.A., C.R.W.)
3 pts. - With a little creativity, the initials could potentially be embarrassing (D.F.S. = Doofus, W.D.O. = Weirdo).
0 pts. - Really bad initials. (L.S.R. = Loser, J.R.K. = Jerk, D.U.D., B.U.T., etc.)

The "Letter Hog" Test: When you have seven children and all of the names start with the same letter, you are going to paint yourself into a corner.

5 pts. - We are proudly not letter hogs and this child's name will start with a different letter than all other siblings.
3 pts. - We are letter hogs, but we are using a common letter that offers a lot of flexibility (R,S,T, all vowels, etc.)
0 pts. - We are letter hogs, and we are officially running out of additional names with the letter we selected (Zachary and Zoe were good names, but what's next? Zeniff? 'Zabella?

Our New Ward

2008-03-24T08:05:00.001-06:00

So, on Easter Sunday my husband and I attended our new ward for the first time. In our meeting with the bishop, he referred to it as a "Newlywed, Nearly Dead" ward, which in our findings was eerily accurate.

Rows and rows of white hair, interspersed with screaming babies and children running loose in the aisle ways. One dad in particular was keeping his son at bay by holding onto his overall straps. Four or five mothers and three fathers stood in the back of the church, comforting their babies. My husband couldn’t pay attention to save his life – so he kept whispering to me and fiddling with my hand. In front of us were our neighbors, whom we had only met once. Of course in our desperate attempts to make friends, we were excited when they began talking to us after sacrament.

Sunday school was actually intriguing, as I learned more about the inner workings of our new ward. It seems our ward is slightly dysfunctional, with rumor mills, inactive members/people who leave after sacrament, and a slight separation of “class.” I figure we will fit in just fine. The Sunday school teacher expressed dismay at the “rich” people who live in the nicer houses in the new subdivisions, and how the “good” people are the meek ones who live – where she does. I think she said this not realizing that half the ward lives in these “rich” suburbs. Her statement got chuckles from two women sitting in front of us, who undoubtedly are married to doctors, and live in these forsaken places.

I know why they call it “Relief Society.” What a better way to escape children and husbands than to talk about God and crop night. I sat down in a corner alone, hoping someone would sit by me. Someone younger than say, eighty. All the ladies sat together chatting front and center. A young, pretty, smiley mom introduced herself as the RS president. The two younger women from Sunday school entered and made a beeline for me. They were blonde, pretty, and held babies on their hips. As the meeting began, I looked around and noticed I was the only person in the room who isn’t a mom. The girls who were pregnant or holding babies sat on one side, and the older ladies on the other.

This week is going to be interesting. During the last two meetings, we were introduced as the “new” people, and were asked where we live. Without thinking, we blurted out our address. I expect they will be showing up around 7pm every night this week.

Jesus Christ's Mug Shot

2008-03-19T16:34:00.004-06:00

Last night our Bishop stopped by unannounced. We just moved (two months ago) and have been debating going to the family ward, or the student ward. So in our perilous struggle for the right ward, we have been putting off attending church altogether. The student ward begins at 9am and is across town, and the family ward begins at 12 and is within walking distance. Yeah, a real hard choice – I know.

When we heard the knock, my husband sprinted upstairs in his garments (he was laying around in them) to change. I answered the door and the Bishop walked in and introduced himself. My husband started getting winded as he picked up the living room and covered his computer screen where he was watching a pirated version of “Rambo.” We talked, but I felt one edge seeing as our house was a pig sty (to anyone else’s standards really) and my husband was wearing the fleece pajama pants I made him. Keep in mind I made them from bright blue fabric with cartoon frogs all over it.

As the Bishop tried to take us seriously, we made an appointment to meet. After he left, we exhaled and my husband said, “Hey nice job with the stuff on the walls honey.” I looked at our living room wall. An 18” x 24” framed photo of Jesus Christ exiting his tomb, and my hand-made 8” x 24” plaque that says, “Families are Forever.” So just in case the Bishop had any doubts he might be in the wrong place, our only decoration in the entire house proves it. No one can argue that, although all Christians would theoretically have the same décor, Mormon décor is particularly identifiable. (Note pix below.)

I find it hard to resist Deseret Book and their many pictures of Jesus that I could put up all over my house. I admit, really the pictures are corny. But what Mormon house do you enter that doesn’t have the beautiful Jesus mug shot in the doorway? Or large plaques with cute sayings on them, that are most likely hand-made with rub-on letters and crackle paint? Or a peg board with hanging names for FHE?

Okay, I don’t just want pictures of Jesus so people know I’m a Mo when they walk in the door. I also don’t want the same pictures everyone else has. (See below.) Unfortunately, Deseret Book Charges upwards of $300 for good stuff. Sheesh. I need to go into the Mormon painting business.

This idea of the "Mormon Front" is something I haven't come to terms with yet. I don't hate it, and I don't like it. It's just this silent thing that goes on in LDS communities. As a convert I don't understand as much as those who have been in the church their whole lives. You put up pictures of Jesus, have a few Ensigns laying around, have those stickers on the back of your van that indicate how many members of the family there are in stick figures, etc... Given that I might have done all this anyway had I not converted, I don't feel particularly cultish. But man, can we get some VARIETY!!!???

P.S. I love Jesus.

More Notes on Polygamy

2008-03-18T09:44:00.001-06:00

This is a neat website for anyone brave enough to understand historical facts about the practice....plus a bunch of other cool stuff about Mo's.

http://www.mormon-polygamy.org/

The Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley stated in October 1998:

“I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. They are not members of this Church. Most of them have never been members. They are in violation of the civil law. They know they are in violation of the law. They are subject to its penalties. The Church, of course, has no jurisdiction whatever in this matter.
"If any of our members are found to be practicing plural marriage, they are excommunicated, the most serious penalty the Church can impose. Not only are those so involved in direct violation of the civil law, they are in violation of the law of this Church. An article of our faith is binding upon us. It states, 'We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law' (Articles of Faith 1:12). One cannot obey the law and disobey the law at the same time.

"There is no such thing as a 'Mormon Fundamentalist.' It is a contradiction to use the two words together."

Mormonism today does not practice polygamy, but neither does it claim that its past practice of polygamy was wrong. The practice was commanded by God through living prophets and forbidden by God through living prophets.

Simple eh?

Polygamy

2008-03-15T10:57:00.001-06:00

Here are a few thoughts on the subject:

1) For anyone who is curious, members of our church don't (or shouldn't) believe in the practice of polygamy today.

2) Polygamy was once accepted, and necessary by more than just Mormons.

3) Today, in my personal opinion, it is a horrible and evil practice that enslaves children to disgusting old men, and aids in the unnecessary over-population of the Earth. It has been distorted, and abused.

4) People who aren't LDS, and even those who are, don't seem to understand. Scriptures tell us some things, prophets tell us more things. If you believe in the Bible, you should believe in prophets. When our scriptures tell us that polygamy is acceptable, it's because it was at one point. Even in the Bible it was. When prophets give revelation that polygamy is not needed or acceptable - we should listen. You can't pick and choose what to believe in when the prophet says it plain as day.

5) If you are a member of the church and claim that polygamy is still necessary, and that you have to have MULTIPLE wives to go to the celestial kingdom - sorry - you are sorely mistaken and NOT a member of this church.

6) I am not interested in lists of scriptures that 1) Are from Mormons (or non-Mormons really) giving me reasons why polygamy is great and 2) Are from Non-Mormons giving me lectures on any of the above statements.

7) All other comments and insults welcome.

Three Kingdoms of Heaven Just Makes Sense

2008-03-11T13:01:00.001-06:00

I was just thinking about a talk I had with my mother about what people in our church believe. She didn't understand the whole "kingdoms of heaven" thing, so I tried to explain it to her. After I basically gave this description, she gave me a surprising response.

"Okay, so for example - there are three women - one is Baptist, one is Muslim, and one is Buddihst. They all live their lives spiritually, are charitable, and shining examples of great women. According to most Christian religions, the Buddhist and Muslim would go to Hell for not being "saved" and accepting Jesus as their Savior. However, we believe that every one of these women can go to heaven. When everyone, and I mean everyone, dies they go to the Spirit World. This is a place where those who have never heard or never accepted the gospel can hear it from those who have. Then Jesus Christ comes and shares the gospel with you in person, and if you accept it with your whole heart, you can get into Heaven. However, Heaven isn't a free for all. Murderers, rapists, adulterers, etc... aren't going to the same place as say, you or I would. That just isn't, well....fair! God thinks in gray areas. He will place us according to our works. Why would he look upon a person who was misguided on Earth and committed many horrible sins the same way he would look at someone who lived their lives fully in the gospel? Why is it fair for people to be sinful up until they are on their deathbed repenting? It isn't. God is merciful, and he is also just.

So, there are three levels of Heaven, and each is more filled with glory than the next. Jesus said: "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you" (John 14:2). Paul tells about being "caught up to the third heaven," where he heard unspeakable words (2 Corinthians 12:2-4). He then describes three degrees of glory in 1 Corinthians 15:39-42 and spoke about the various levels of resurrected beings who would inherit them."

My mom just looked at me and said, "You know, I always believed in something like that. I always thought God would give everyone a second chance, even after death. I always thought that it's good to do good works, even though we are saved by grace. Where do I sign up?"

My Conversion

2008-03-05T20:16:00.002-07:00

I grew up in a Baptist family. My parents were what some considered "hippies" and we went to church on Easter and Christmas. Mormons were a major population in my high school, and actually compiled most of the popular crowd. I was always bitter at seminary students, as I thought they got a grade for attending. I thought Mormons believed in Joseph Smith instead of Jesus, that their rules were stupid, and that they were going to Hell. Of course, I was in high school.

While in college I met my husband online (of all places) and he was a member of the church. (At this point everyone stops listening to my story and assumes that I converted because of him, and not for myself.) One of the downfalls of meeting online is that you live in separate parts of the country (or in our case - state) and in-person visits are rare. But through online chats, phone calls, and weekend visits we ended up falling in love. He never pushed his religion on me, but I was always skeptical. When I asked questions, he answered. But he always encouraged me to talk to the sister missionaries. Set out to prove him wrong, so I began to visit with the missionaries, hoping that I could refute everything they said.

I asked every question to three sets of missionaries over a period of 2 years. I didn't want anything to fall through the cracks. When it comes to salvation, there isn't room for ignorance. I researched and researched until I became blue in the face. For some, the answer comes quickly but the answer for me came slowly. I realized that knowing what I know now - about Joseph Smith, the Apostasy, the Book of Mormon - there was no turning back. I already believed the history. I already knew in my heart that it was true. God gave me an answer and I didn't listen.

I was too concerned with what other people thought about me. I lived in a sorority - the worst place to convert to a church that doesn't allow drinking. People looked at me like I was an idiot. They went out every weekend, got drunk, had sex, and looked down on ME. My mother was mildly supportive, maintaining that I was Baptist at heart and as long as I wasn't sacrificing animals it was okay. The day of my Baptism, my father -who had been sober for 8 years - got drunk at a local bar. My stepmother blamed me for his fall off the wagon.

I was baptized on April 26th, 2005. Even though the water was cold and the day was cloudy, my heart was finally warm and full. After I came out of the water the missionaries and church members were there supporting me - and everything else didn't matter.

Since then I have been plagued with Anti-Mormon material, former friends who don't listen, and every manner of negative information about our church. I have taken it in and STILL, my testimony becomes stronger with each day. I accept the imperfections in our church and in the people in it, but I also am smart enough to know that what I feel in my heart every day is stronger than anything people say. Now, I have a better relationship with my parents than I have ever had.

Anti-Mormons!

2008-02-26T11:12:00.002-07:00

In my various searches and bored surfing of the Internet, I am going to come right out and express just how pissed I am at all the "Anti-Mormon" blogs and websites. Really, this goes for any "anti-religious" website. However, the ones devoted to the LDS church seem particularly spiteful, and I am not sure why. Of course, some of their purpose is to piss us off, but here are some things I would like to say to people that devote their lives to de-bunking the faith of others instead of pursuing of another truth.

Get another hobby. People aren't changing their religion because of your blog. (If they are, their faith in any church wasn't that strong in the first place.) You are just creating turmoil.

Do some actual research. Nearly every piece of “evidence” I’ve seen on these sites that “disprove” our church is either wrong or already refuted. If you are going to argue intelligently, put some effort into research.

Don’t single out the LDS church. I have seen so many sites that “scientifically” disprove the church, and the people who run the sites now Catholic, or Lutheran, or Baptist –whatever. You are telling me that scientific facts will hold up in your church? I don’t think so. Religion can be proven to a point with science; otherwise faith is what keeps it alive. Unless you believe that there is no God whatsoever – no higher power – science isn’t a valid argument.

Not every member of the church is the same. Yes, as a member I will admit that living in Southeast Idaho there isn’t really a diverse population. However, we don’t all believe the same things, think the same things, or know the same things. When it comes to the church, our beliefs are generally the same. But we don’t all ostracize family members for shopping on Sunday, we don’t all live the Word of Wisdom perfectly, we don’t look down upon other religions, races, ethnicities, etc… We don’t always have tons of children, NO REAL members of our church are polygamists (that’s FLDS), and there are dozens more stereotypes that the anti-LDS websites claim as truth. We are all different.

Get over the whole “Word of Wisdom” thing. So many people have expressed their dismay at how the church dictates what we can and cannot do. Drinking alcohol, coffee, wearing garments, blah, blah, blah. It is religious preference. There are things that Jews, Buddhists, Muslims etc… can and cannot do as well – why can’t a Christian religion have some standards? If you can’t live the Word of Wisdom, it doesn’t mean you should leave the church and start reading all this Anti-Literature and start an ex-Mormon website. It just means that, Hey – you can’t do it. If you are so insecure that the approval of the people in the church are more important to you than God, you should rethink your religious views anyway. Besides, you only THINK everyone looks down on you because you are looking down on yourself.

We recognize that we aren’t perfect. Duh. No one is, and we don’t think we are. Some people in the church are jerks who think they are all high and mighty. Some are bad parents, some are adulterers, some are alcoholics – Just like the rest of the world. We know that not everyone is perfect, and shouldn’t be. We also know that by living the way we do we can become more like Jesus Christ, which is the whole point! Being a GOOD PERSON and treating your body like a TEMPLE is the best thing you can do. Now what is wrong with that?

Does God Call in Sick?

2008-02-25T08:24:00.002-07:00

So, since I haven't posted in a few days, you may have guessed that I caught the full blown crap that my husband had. In fact, it was the real "flu" - which I have never gotten before. I called in sick to work three days in a row, which was actually less than I needed. Normally, I will milk a cold for an extra day, just so I can stay home. But this time it was bad, especially because no one was taking care of me. I didn't go to church on Sunday either, which I am sure was appreciated by everyone there. I know this is kind of a silly question to ask, but do you think God ever just takes a day off? I mean, he IS God so maybe he doesn't need it like we do. But I'm sure that there's got to be a point in his day where he just wants to say "I'm outta here." I guess not.

Airborne Can Go to HELL

2008-02-19T11:34:00.001-07:00

My husband almost died this weekend. Well, maybe I am being a little dramatic. This flu has made itself right at home among our bedsheets and doorknobs. My husband, the 300 pound offensive lineman, had a temperature of 104.4 and was so deleriously sick that I had to try and fit him into a bath of ice. Cold towels, ice cubes, and lots of Tylenol later, we brought it down to 101. God only knows what would have happened if the bathtub were any smaller. Of course I have done nearly everything short of moving out to keep from getting it, but last night I felt that tickle in my throat. You know, the one that lets you know it's too late to inject Airborne and you've been defeated. This morning I rolled onto the cat as I flopped out of bed, and barely made it to the shower. Now I'm at work, hopped up on Sudafed. Where is a vial of oil when you need one? While to some, blessings by the priesthood are phony. (I.E. You crazy non-members.) But I have seen the blessings that can arise by a simple visit from the elders, and I am here to say that I would very much like to partake in one of those about now. If they can muster the courage to show up.

Amen, Sista

2008-02-11T13:13:00.001-07:00

My 13 year old niece began commenting on how much she hated church. She said, "Why does it have to be SO boring? Why can't we just stand up and clap and sing like the black people do?" My husband sat in silent defeat, saddened that she doesn't find as much joy in scripture reading and acting reverent as he does. I replied, "Well, some people find that being reverent in church is what God wants us to do. It depends on who you are. If it were up to me, I think we would have a little bit more fun in church."

I thought she made a good point. Church is SO boring sometimes, depending on what ward you're in. I challenge everyone to make their talk INTERESTING, and have a little charisma when you are up there. It's not that hard, and God will commend you for making people pay attention. Even the most righteous priesthood holders fall asleep in church. God isn't a boring guy. He created us in his own image, so if we are bored chances are that he's gone over to the "black people" church to hang out. I would.

Mormon Church is Like a Bar...or Daycare...

2008-02-05T14:33:00.002-07:00

Church has recently become my only source of social contact. I am married without kids (so far) and we literally have no friends. We live in a town that has either white collar Mormons or blue collar hillbillys. So as you may have guessed, the only place to make friends is either church, a truck stop, or a bar. I remember the singles ward being just like a bar - only the drinks are a different kind of "spirited." Awkwardly looking at someone from across the room, talking casually for a bit, then instead of getting some ass in the end we just get engaged. The analogy changes a bit after you transfer over into the married student or family ward. Bar:Singles Ward as Daycare:Married Wards.

I always hated that about sacrament meeting. There's nothing that makes me want to burn down the church half-way through sacrament like thirty seven screaming babies and their parents who won't dimiss themselves to the hallway. Like if they miss one second of a talk to comfort their child, they are going to hell. Primary needs to be the full three hours so that the rest of us can actually pay attention (or at least daydream/sleep in peace.) There is one difference between the married student wards and the family wards - the age of the children. Instead of having kids that are 13, 10, 7, 5, and 3 you get a 3 year old, a 1 year old, an infant, and a fetus. I have never in my life seen so many pregnant people outside a prenatal yoga class in my life than I have seen in the married student ward. If you go to a school that is predominatley LDS, well you can only guess how many classes women skip for morning sickness. It's a wonder that they even graduate. Don't get me wrong though, even though I have graduated college, I still always wanted to be pregnant during that time. (Like it was SO long ago...two months today to be exact.) Anyway, I think that being pregnant, having kids, and everything else that comes with it is going to be awesome. But when I am sitting in church and my little shits start yelling at the top of their lungs you better believe I will lock them in the car. (Just kidding, don't make any phone calls.)

The First One!

2008-02-04T14:26:00.001-07:00

So, as you may have guessed this is the hottest place on the web.

Given that it just fired up today, I will give it a little time before people start pouring in to write witty and somtimes offensive material.

I've done a little research and found that Mormon Blogging is quite popular. (I don't mean blogging by ignorant people who hate Mormons, that's a given.) Mostly, they are websites written by moms and dads, dedicating the space to their family, or talking about babies. Mormons must be prenatal experts with all the talk about babies, having babies, and even just KIDS for that matter. Anyway....

However, for all the MANY, MANY sites that are written by ex-Mormons and non-Mormons, I invite you to post here - out of your element - and see what REAL, intelligent, and logical Mormons have to say about your thoughts.