My Embarassing Temple Trip

Last night our ward drove up to the Idaho Falls temple to do baptisms for the dead with the Youth.

I drove up to the church, making sure I had extra underwear and makeup for afterward packed away in my little brown bag in my purse. I was right on time, at 5pm. However according to Mormon time I was 15 minutes early. So I waited around for some others to show up. I was wearing a tea length skirt and flip flops as the other youth leaders arrived in long skirts, heels, and pantyhose. I huddled with the people I knew the most, and watched four suburbans pull into the parking lot. The prayer was given once everyone arrived, and the bishop handed me my temporary temple recommend. (Mine had expired, and I've been too lazy to get a new one.) We piled into one of the suburbans, and of course I sat in the very back next to the luggage. The women had these ugly floral laptop-case-looking bags, which I assumed carried the stuff that I brought in a paper sack. All in all, there were four girls and two guys in the car, all my age.

I looked around and realized that there is a distinct possibility that I was completely misplaced. This may be purely coincidental, but the three women in front of me all had the exact same cropped bob for a haircut, with blonde highlights on top, and a burgundy red underneath. They all wore the loose fitting empire waist shirts with short sleeves that gather at the shoulder. Pantyhose, long skirts, and black tacky shoes. They all started talking about their babies and toddlers. Drool this, poop that. I looked out the window and tried to remember where I was going, and what I was doing. Despite the fact that the Young Adults of the Corn were taking me there.

Once we got to the temple, we sat in pews to have prayer. The temple workers informed us that any endowed members won't be able to get baptized, and would have to help. Therefore all the adults went to get their temple clothes on. I am not endowed yet. So there I sat. The only woman over the age of 17. I talked to the girls, trying to pretend that I ELECTED to get baptized with them "to be cool."

I have only done baptisms for the dead once, so I was rusty. Rusty as in, I looked a little lost the entire time. Thankfully, the endowed sisters realized that I was terrified and guided me along in the least condescending way possible. When it was my turn, I stepped into the nice warm, chlorine filled water. The guy baptizing looked a little scrawny, so I decided beforehand that I would help him out a little and be sure to really "push" off the bottom when he brought me back out of the water. (Let's face it, his arms would get tired.) However, I was entirely too eager and had to be "re-dipped" twice. Frick, even the teenagers could do this part.

After all was said and done, I was basically over my sheer mortification. (What could be worse than being dressed in a white jumpsuit that gets completely soaking wet?) So I gave up on the whole "trying to look cool and knowledgeable" thing, and dripped my way into the locker room. I got dressed, and prepared to do my makeup. However, the slick counters, partnered with my clumsiness, made a fascinating scene as my foundation shattered on the floor. Thankfully, it was that “solid” mousse stuff, so it didn’t get everywhere. But if you ever visit the Idaho Falls temple, and get your foot sliced open by broken glass – that was my fault.

I barely made it to the “movie” room (which is new to me…) and tried to isolate myself in a corner to not cause any further humiliation. All the girls came in and sat next to me. They talked about how many times they had seen “Johnny Lingo,” and I ended up confessing that I had never seen it. They gasped in horror. Or maybe jealousy. Like, “Your mom let’s you watch non-LDS movies?” Yes. My mom.

The scrawny guy that baptized me came in and apologized for not knowing who I was, and having to ask my name at the font. He remembered that I was new to the ward. He said he assumed I was a new “Youth.” That was the best news I heard all day.

Now for the best part. The food. We trekked downstairs to the cafeteria. I was ravenous, but tried to minimize the piling on of food since the ward was footing the bill. I got a normal sized plate of food, with a piece of pumpkin pie. (And I even omitted the scone for diet purposes.) I sat in front of my visiting teacher and her husband only to witness that them, along with everyone else, had done the opposite of me. Three scones, pie, salad, chicken, veggies, Jello, potatoes, milk, soup, fruit, juice, butter, all on one tray. However, ultimately I am glad my eyes weren’t bigger than my stomach as it was more that satisfying. Apparently, people actually fast all day to prepare for this temple food, and I can see why. Yum!

It was a great experience. Embarrassing at times, but really great. And even though the women who drove with me are all a little “Carrie Conformist,” I think I am going to make a concerted effort to make them my friends.

The Perfect Calling

I've had one calling in my life, and that was to run the Enrichment meetings on Wednesday nights. Since I was a nomad in college, that lasted all of about a month. I've never really gotten a chance to have a real calling.

But now that my husband and I have settled down, I am very excited to announce that I have a NEW calling. I will be a Young Women's advisor, more specifically the Mia Maids advisor! Okay - it's not like I'm the RS president, but I seriously think Heavenly Father was inspiring the bishop when they picked this one.

Every weekend I hang out with my 13 year old niece and her friend. First of all because it's fun, and having family over all weekend is what I look forward to. Secondly, I am hoping that by hanging out at my house, I can be a "good influence" and keep them out of trouble. They both consider me to be a best friend (second only to each other), and so they tell me everything. Which is scary because I have found that they have pregnant, lesbian, gay, sexually active, peers who are considered "popular" at their school. Fortunatley, I have also found that they both have good heads on their shoulders. My niece comes from a Lutheran father, and an inactive LDS mother, so she only goes to church when she's at Nana and Papa's house. Her friend isn't a member. But this Sunday they asked if they could go to church with us. Strange, because Mormon church for a 13 year old is like pulling teeth. It's almost that way for me sometimes.

We went to church and I was sustained. Then absolutely the MOST boring talks occured, assuredly reaffirming my nieces former thoughts on church. Her friend tried to pay attention, but was too focused on the fact that she wore sporty capri pants to church instead of a skirt. We wrote notes back and forth, and my husband tried to keep the spirit by playing a matching game. He wrote down the names of people in the Bible and BoM and made us guess their description. The girls and I drew lines from "Adam" to "ate the apple" and from Moses to "parted the red sea." From "Noah" to "built the ark" and from "Moroni" to "buried the plates." We got all the Bible ones right, and got stuck on the more difficult BoM ones.

Then we went to Dairy Queen for Sunday School. I was trying to do my best to convince the girls to stay for Young Women's, which was becoming more difficult as the weekend's boredom came to a head. So we had some ice cream, and sneaked back into church. The talk was on endowments. Since I haven't even gotten mine yet, I thought it was strangely appropriate to talk about it.

My talk next week is preparing to go to the temple, which I will be doing on 08/08/08.

So this calling will not only encourage my niece and her friend to attend church for nothing other than to "hang out" with me at this point, but it will also give me a chance to actually know what Young Women's is like. I never went, so I have no clue what you are supposed to learn. But maybe that's why God wants me there - to learn too! I mean, how perfect is it to have two talks on the two next steps in my own salvation - the endowment and temple marriage! I also will need to get the inactive girls to come to church, which I hope will be easy since 13 year olds tend to think I'm "cool" already... well, I think.

This truly was the perfect calling!