This Is Why Mormons Have 400 Kids Each

I don’t want to beat a dead horse here, but there are a few things mentioned in my ward this week that really bugged me. We haven’t been to church in a few weeks, so while sitting in sacrament meeting I was really feeling the spirit. Sunday school was a bore as usual, but my husband kept me busy as he impatiently misbehaved the entire time. Then, in Young Women’s (I am an advisor) the topic was on how our views differ from the views of the world. Things like alcohol, drugs, etc… Then came the part about having children in which one of the girls quoted a prophet/leader, “It’s incredibly selfish to not have children when you are able to do so.” or something to that effect. Then she went on to quote more leaders, “People often ask how many children we should have, and to that I say ‘Have as many as you can handle.’” Then she began to get emotional, saying she can’t imagine not using the gift God gave us.

The reason these statements bugged me is because not everyone is the same. I know LDS people that have no desire whatsoever to have children. (Albeit there are very few of them…) but it’s not because they want to “make money” or “travel” – it’s not for worldly things. It’s simply because they aren’t the nurturing type and they don’t particularly enjoy children. I find absolutely nothing wrong with this, and having church leaders say otherwise really makes me angry. Personally, as you may know, I want to have children! But I am not like everyone else. And we all shouldn’t be the same. Sometimes I think Church leaders, but ESPECIALLY certain members tear down people when they are different. They don’t realize that it’s okay to be different and have different feelings towards something like bearing children.

Then the statement, “Have as many as you can handle” just threw me over the edge. I am assuming he meant have as many as you can handle mentally, physically, and financially. Which is a good idea in theory, but all in all really dumb. Again, everyone is different. If I have the mental capacity, the physical ability, and the financial freedom to have “just one more” after say, my 9th child it doesn’t mean I should just keep having kids. Of course, there are people who want more than that, so I say “Go ahead!” But just because you CAN have another child, doesn’t mean you SHOULD, or HAVE to.

I think the church needs to reiterate that having children is good, but only when we can afford to do so. So many times it feels like the church is egging us on to “raise seed unto the gospel” no matter what the cost, or how much government assistance people are getting. Granted, the majority of the LDS people in my area are filthy rich doctors, but we all know the starving BYU students who decide it would be a good idea to have a kid, then get on government aid, and eat ramen just so they can “fit in” with the church mindset of having kids as often and as soon as possible.

Break the mold a little people!

Trying to Act Mormon

I have posted previously about the "Mormon Front." This is the fake, yet somewhat sincere act put on by members of the church. Now, for some this comes naturally and is usually mastered by lifetime members, in which case it's not a "front" but reality. However, for us Normal Mormons, being so conformist is a little more difficult. We may have practiced a prayer or two, put out a few Ensigns on the coffee table before the home teachers arrive, made sure our BoM's look worn in (or at least not dusty), play basketball with the elders even though we hate it, go to scrapbooking nights and try not to cut off a finger, etc... Normal Mormons are very hard to spot, because they are always putting on a "front," and can therefore never reveal themselves unless they know they person they are talking to is also "Normal."

It's strange, because even though I don't like the "front" - I really try to be more "Mormon." Why? Because it's comfortable. Because I want to make friends. Because I want the people in the ward to like me. Doing these things won't guarantee salvation, and they aren't part of the Word of Wisdom. So really, it's debatable on whether or not we should even be trying. So why are Mormons so "cliquey"? Why do the people who AREN'T putting on a "front" do the same things as everyone else? Why don't they ever deviate from the norm a little? Do they have personalities? I don't have any Mormon friends that fit the mold here, so I can't ask.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying ALL Mormons are one way or the other.

Am I brainwashed? I really want a minivan for some reason now. And the thought of having 7 kids really gets me excited. I also happen to love these popular female Mormon activities which include scrapbooking, sewing, cooking, and baking. Is that bad? I mean, from a non-conformist Mormon point of view? My husband has tried all his life to put on the "Mormon" front. Go on a mission, marry a girl when you come back, go to college, go to medical school, be a doctor, be the bishop, die. Basically.

So why do we WANT these things? It's not like having a plaque that says "Families Are Forever" will give you a ticket into the Celestial Kingdom.

What about the Mormon blogging world? There are bazillions of Mormon blogs. Why do we like it so much? Is it the Stay At Home Mom thing? Is that what they do all day? What about all the Mormon bloggers who are all intellectual and deep into doctrine - and post forty seven pages about political issues and BoM translations *snore*...

If I there were a Mormon Conformist Scale, I this is what it would look like:

1. What's a Mormon?
2. I used to be Mormon.
3. I'm not active and I tend to break the Word of Wisdom, but I'm still Mormon
4. I'm sorta active. I go to church a few times a year, but I'm not boozin it up or anything.
5. I'm active. I don't go to picnics and crap though. I do the minimum required of me.
6. I go to church frequently, and participate in activities, but I don't have church friends.
7. I have a temple reccommend and frequently participate in church activites, but I don't have fourteen kids or anything....
8. My spouse is active in the church and our kids are pretty good. Sometimes we'll swear/drink pop/ but on rare occassions.
9. We go to church regularly and fulfill all our callings, tithe, participate in church activites, etc... All our friends, and all our kids friends, are from church.
10. My husband, the doctor, is the Bishop, my wife, the teacher, is the RS president, my ten and a half kids are either on missions or still a fetus.

I'm like a 6. LOL

Anti-Mormons!

In my various searches and bored surfing of the Internet, I am going to come right out and express just how pissed I am at all the "Anti-Mormon" blogs and websites. Really, this goes for any "anti-religious" website. However, the ones devoted to the LDS church seem particularly spiteful, and I am not sure why. Of course, some of their purpose is to piss us off, but here are some things I would like to say to people that devote their lives to de-bunking the faith of others instead of pursuing of another truth.

Get another hobby. People aren't changing their religion because of your blog. (If they are, their faith in any church wasn't that strong in the first place.) You are just creating turmoil.


Do some actual research. Nearly every piece of “evidence” I’ve seen on these sites that “disprove” our church is either wrong or already refuted. If you are going to argue intelligently, put some effort into research.


Don’t single out the LDS church. I have seen so many sites that “scientifically” disprove the church, and the people who run the sites now Catholic, or Lutheran, or Baptist –whatever. You are telling me that scientific facts will hold up in your church? I don’t think so. Religion can be proven to a point with science; otherwise faith is what keeps it alive. Unless you believe that there is no God whatsoever – no higher power – science isn’t a valid argument.

Not every member of the church is the same. Yes, as a member I will admit that living in Southeast Idaho there isn’t really a diverse population. However, we don’t all believe the same things, think the same things, or know the same things. When it comes to the church, our beliefs are generally the same. But we don’t all ostracize family members for shopping on Sunday, we don’t all live the Word of Wisdom perfectly, we don’t look down upon other religions, races, ethnicities, etc… We don’t always have tons of children, NO REAL members of our church are polygamists (that’s FLDS), and there are dozens more stereotypes that the anti-LDS websites claim as truth. We are all different.


Get over the whole “Word of Wisdom” thing. So many people have expressed their dismay at how the church dictates what we can and cannot do. Drinking alcohol, coffee, wearing garments, blah, blah, blah. It is religious preference. There are things that Jews, Buddhists, Muslims etc… can and cannot do as well – why can’t a Christian religion have some standards? If you can’t live the Word of Wisdom, it doesn’t mean you should leave the church and start reading all this Anti-Literature and start an ex-Mormon website. It just means that, Hey – you can’t do it. If you are so insecure that the approval of the people in the church are more important to you than God, you should rethink your religious views anyway. Besides, you only THINK everyone looks down on you because you are looking down on yourself.

We recognize that we aren’t perfect. Duh. No one is, and we don’t think we are. Some people in the church are jerks who think they are all high and mighty. Some are bad parents, some are adulterers, some are alcoholics – Just like the rest of the world. We know that not everyone is perfect, and shouldn’t be. We also know that by living the way we do we can become more like Jesus Christ, which is the whole point! Being a GOOD PERSON and treating your body like a TEMPLE is the best thing you can do. Now what is wrong with that?