Mormons and the Media

This is a post I wrote on Modern Molly Mormon, another blog I write for. After it's post, an overwhelming amount of comments and e-mails were made, mostly not in my favor. As a result of my little "non-conformist" view, the poor mediator of that blog had to enforce some new rules about not posting things that aren't congruent with the churches official stance on certain topics. Afterwards I posted an apology, but received e-mails and comments that were all of a sudden more supportive. So without further ado...

I feel it’s only appropriate to post on something I have experience in. For those of you who haven’t gone over to my profile, I am an account executive for an NBC affiliate. As you might imagine, the media has been a ginormous part of my life. Movies, music, Internet, billboards, television, newspaper…I’ve spent my college career studying these things in depth. So what have I learned? All media isn’t evil (as it turns out.)
Many of us easily shy away from certain types of media fearing it will "taint" us or our families. We need to understand that humans have a natural curiosity towards the unknown. Violence, sex, drugs, rape….all the “bad” stuff. This is why the particularly violent or sex themed shows are among the highest rated. Same with movies and music. Sometimes the media can help our children and ourselves understand the world around us. It doesn’t mean that we all want to be a part of this or take action and mimic these atrocities. By being exposed to different forms of media, we are able to develop a distinct line between good and evil, between right and wrong. We are able to understand our curiosities without acting on them. We are able to see what happens in the world in a fictional setting, versus a much more dangerous and real setting. This is also where good parenting comes in. Naturally our children might mimic what they see on TV or sing a dirty lyric they heard on the radio, which is really what we are afraid of if we allow our children to be exposed to such material. It’s our job to help them draw that mental line between “good” and “bad.” By completely shutting out certain types of media from our lives we only limit our knowledge of the real world. Not to mention the fact that the things we see on the news can be just as bad or worse than anything fictional. Now, I am not saying that watching a rated “R” movie with graphic violence and language in it is the best way to educate your family. But it IS a way. And it’s much easier to talk about it as a family than have curiosity take a turn for the worst. It’s also an excellent way to visually stimulate the minds of children about historic actual events. (Who wants to read about the Titanic when they can SEE the movie?)So when your six year old girl comes into the room and starts singing, “I kissed a girl and I liked it!!!” you can actually talk about it with her and explain what it means and why it's bad. Or when your son brings out his toy gun and starts shooting people, you can illustrate that he should be shooting the rapists and not the policemen. (Joke.) Since we are all “Modern” Mollies blogging on the Internet I don’t suspect any of you are completely stuck in the stone age.
I will say that we are part of a special group of people that take morality seriously. We are mothers, wives, and daughters who have standards. But we should also have open minds.
I personally am biased because I LOVE the media! I have learned more through media than at school! I admittedly watch rated R movies and listen to the Top 40 songs (which are often less than moral), but I am not a heathen. We are all different and have different takes on things that are appropriate. The important thing is to always keep an open mind, and experiment with new movies and media to keep a broad knowledge of what is out there. This way your children aren't blindsided when they are out in the real world and exposed to certain media for the first time.

Doing the Right Thing

Today I went to the DMV to register my new car. Yes, I bought it despite my previous post on Spending Money. If you had read that post, you'd agree that my purchase was justified. All that aside, I got a killer deal on a 2006 Chevy Malibu. It's nice - not as big as an Impala, not as small as a Cobalt - and will be great for when we have a family. It's charcoal gray, and very sexy. If a car can be a 4 door sedan and still be sexy, this is it. *drool*

Anyway, I went to the DMV and got it all registered. 65 bucks and change. I got $100 out of the ATM and gave the woman 60 bucks, thinking it was $80. She gave me change for $70. I quickly corrected her saying the ATM only gives 20's, so it MUST have been 80 and she gave me the extra money. As I walked to the car, I realized I had an extra $20 in my hand. Without a second thought I turned around and went back in to correct my mistake, and gave the 20 back.

It wasn't until I was out in my car again that I realized I would NOT have done that around 5 years ago. I would have dimissed it as good fortune and gone shopping. What made me turn around so fast? Impulse? Habit? The theory that good fortune is returned three fold for doing something honest and good? I don't know. Does this mean I will get $60 in return? Does blogging about my good deed take it away?

Well, I don't know about all that. I guess since I was baptized 4 years ago, lots of things have changed. Would we still do the right things if we didn't assume we would get blessings for doing so? Does expecting something in return completely erase the good deed in itself?

What about tithing? We all have a testimony of tithing the the good things it brings to our lives. Would we have that same testimony if nothing happened and you just gave your money to a good cause? Is the good feeling you get a good enough reward?

I don't know, maybe you all have an opinion?

Spending Money

I'll be blunt. We got an HDTV. (Insert glowing halo and choir music here.) It's so sexy that we actually had to modify our entertainment center to get it to fit. Normal people wall mount it, but we were blatantly terrified for fear that it would fall and crash into a million pieces before we could watch anything. So we took a sledge hammer to all the little convenient shelves in our wooden entertainment center, which left a gaping space to put in a TV. With just about an inch left on each side, we got it in. Now we are consumed with watching Blu-Ray movies and playing Xbox.

My car is a trooper – but if I have the air conditioning on it putters out like it’s out of gas. Especially in 100 degree weather. More than once I’ve been on my way to see a client, and all of a sudden I am stranded on the side of the freeway pushing my car to safety. So I am going to buy a car. Right now I own my car – but I was thinking of getting something a little nicer and just make payments on it. Maybe a cute Beetle. My 6’4” husband can fit into those things like a dream. In any case, it’s gonna cost me.

I’m flying to Seattle this weekend to see my best friend from college. Needless to say, lots of shopping will be involved. She just bought a brand new Cadillac. You know, the one from the commercial that says, “When you turn your car on does it return the favor?” Yeah.

I haven’t actually MADE a meal in two weeks, excluding last night when I put pizzas in the oven. We’ve eaten every meal out.

I’ve spoiled myself lately with nails, hair, waxes etc…

Last night I kneeled at the side of the bed for prayer, and had an overwhelming need to request God’s help.

Please, please God let me win the lottery. And if that doesn’t happen, help me make more money at my job. And if that doesn’t happen remind me the next time I want to buy something that you will smite me with a bolt of lightning.

In all seriousness, I’ve found that spending money wisely is kind of another addition to the Word of Wisdom. Don’t drink coffee, don’t smoke, and don’t buy an HDTV if your car is a piece of crap. The church has been good about dealing with financial matters and how we should avoid credit cards, and be frugal as much as possible. I think I have just forgotten how to do that.

Spending money is easy. Be it on a TV, baby clothes, kids’ toys, husband’s toys, wife’s beauty regimens, even food and the necessities. Some people buy brand name things when the generic brand would work just fine. Some people pay only $400 a month for rent, and purchase a $4000 living room set. Some people live in squalor, and eat ramen noodles every day, and never go out and have fun.

I say there’s a happy medium. Granted, we should be careful of what we buy, and never use a credit card unless we can pay the balance off in full each month. But we should also realize that LIFE is what happens when you are saving up for it. (My own quote there, feel free to attribute it to me….) We need to budget for FUN. We need to budget for what makes us HAPPY. For example, going to a movie in the “expensive” theatre (vs. the $2 theatre) once or twice a month gives me an unnatural amount of joy. So I am going to do it. On the other hand, I could have definitely gone without getting my hair done. I could have gone without these stupid nails that make it so I can’t type. My husband could have used his old rifle instead of buying a new one.

We could really go on about this all day. I guess the point is to be SMART about what we buy. Honestly, thinking about Heavenly Father when I feel weak makes me much more likely to spend wisely.

What have you bought lately that you probably shouldn’t have? What are some tips you have for spending money wisely?

Breaking the Sabbath

More like completely snapping the Sabbath in half.

As Mormons, we are to act as good abiding Christians and keep the Sabbath Day holy. This means going to church, dressing appropriatley, not shopping, going out to eat, or doing other recreational activities that might require "work" from someone else. Likewise, we aren't supposed to work ourselves on Sunday.

It is NOT a day...

1. To go to Wal-Mart and buy groceries for the week.

2. For inviting over friends and watching rated "R" movies.

3. To play video games all day and leave your family to fend for themselves. (This excludes Rock Band of course, which can be played by everyone... and it's awesome.)

4. To go workout.

5. To surf the internet, unless it's about Mormon stuff.

6. To go to the movies, water park, mall, skiing, biking, hiking etc...

7. For chores. (Woo hoo, a good one!)


Alright, alright. So what the Hell (pardon) do we sit around and do on Sunday?

It IS a day....

1. Of rest from our labors.

2. Of worship.

3. To remember the Lord’s atonement and resurrection.

4. To renew our baptismal covenants by partaking of the sacrament.

5. Of prayer and fasting.

6. Of finding uplift in music, hymns, and songs.

7. To prepare, meditate, and study the gospel.

8. To visit the sick and the afflicted, the widow and the orphan.

9. To strengthen our ties with our living families, do work for those who died without the ordinances of salvation, and write family histories.

10. For missionary preparation and work.

While many of us, I'm sure, regularly observe the Sabbath day properly, I am also sure that some of us have found our way to the grocery store more than once. Monday is swiftly approaching, and work hangs over our heads. Especially for those families with two working parents. Grabbing that necessary gallon of milk, bag of cereal, ground beef, taco seasoning, chocolate chips, cod filets, doughnuts, etc... Seems crucial given that you didn't buy these things Saturday, and tomorrow is SO out of the question at this point. And if you are at Super Wal-Mart the toilet paper, eye-shadow, steering wheel cover, and bolt of fabric seem essential as well. There have also been times where recreational activites on Saturday just weren't enough, and Sunday seemed the perfect opportunity to catch up on that movie premiere. Then there's the couple at Applebee's who shows up around 3pm in their church clothes. You know they are Mormon, first of all because it's 3pm and they aren't out of their church clothes yet. As if that wasn't enough, they each have the "celestial smile" (the visible crescent that the neck of garments makes under the shirt). It's just so much easier to "go out" than get all those dishes dirty, right?

However, we Mormons rarely get in "trouble" for this type of behavior seeing as anyone who bears witness of these transgressions, is in fact, transgressing themselves. I would be hesitant to confront John Smith and his wife if I saw them at Indiana Jones on Sunday. Or if the Bishop came up to me and said, "I've seen you at Alberton's a few times grocery shopping on Sundays."

What about working? My husband could have earned $224 dollars working an 8 hour day on Sunday. Instead we have to tithe 10% and GIVE the money to church!

Okay, it seems like a real crappy deal when outsiders and potential converts look in on our "cultish" little world. I have to admit, I have no personal advice for this particular subject given that I would not be practicing what I preach. (What can I say, I'm not perfect. Surprising, I know.) It's not like I visit the strip club during church, but I have been known to be a part of that family at Applebee's once or twice. I can personally vouch for the blessings of tithing, however.

I do know this...

Devoting ONE day to God, out of the Seven he gave us ain't bad. And 10% of our monthly income could probably buy no more than a few nights out to dinner and a few movies. (Unless you're rich, in which case think about how much you pay in taxes and it'll make you feel better.) The blessings that come from abiding by these rules are astronomical given that we don't really give that much to begin with. It's a small price to pay for eternal happiness.

Anonymous (or not, for that matter) comments with Sabbath Day Breaking confessions will be taken now.

A Drunken Weekend

We had an awesome weekend. My husband and I joined his sister and her friends and family (the niece and nephew we spend all our time with) at a local reservoir for camping, hiking, fishing, and just hanging out. We took the speedboat out on the water and fished until sunset. We caught a few bass and my husband learned to cook them on the fire. All in all, it was great.

The only stick in my side was the fact that my husband and I were the ONLY adults not drinking alcohol. For three solid days, there were at least 20 adults (adults mind you, some not over 21) that were so drunk that the smell of alcohol radiated from their pores. There were also about 10 children that were exposed to their belligerent parents stumbling around and waking them up at four in the morning. The drunks would hop in their cars and drive around like it was no big deal. Then they would drive the speedboat around like wild banshees. The children weren’t fazed at all however, as this is apparently a regular practice.

My husband and I tried to keep the children occupied and away from all the drunken banter happening near the campfire. As the weekend rolled on, the children must have figured out that we weren’t drinking, so they followed us everywhere we went.

I constantly get the classic question, “Why can’t Mormons drink? A little alcohol is good for you!”

Why? Because you can’t control yourself. Some people can. Some can’t. Why take a chance and ruin the lives of your children, your family, and yourself? Yes, drinking alcohol is “fun” to you – but what about those around you? YOU may not be an alcoholic, but what about the people you associate with?

I thank God so much for the Word of Wisdom. There is a reason that He doesn’t want us to drink alcohol, and I saw it this weekend. Not that I needed one weekend to understand – my father was an alcoholic. I also hope that those who were raised in the church and were never exposed to it are thankful for the blessings they received.

On a side note, I don’t think we would have had as much fun had we not gone with a bunch of drunken lunatics. We drove around to find some fishing spots, and came upon a “Mormon” campsite. Either that or these people loved polos, capped sleeves, long shorts, and tons of children. They had just as many people as us, but no one was laughing. The children were all confined to the “grassy” area, and the adults were all sitting around in chairs, holding babies. Their campers were new and shiny without a smudge of dirt on them, and the men tended to their wives instead of hanging out with the guys.

If we had gone camping with them, we’d have been the life of the party!

Living the Word of Wisdom - At Work

At work, or even college, it’s incredibly difficult to constantly live the Word of Wisdom unless you go to BYU or work in Mo’town’s. (i.e. UT, ID, AZ.) Even still we find ourselves surrounded by people that aren’t members and challenge our abilities to adhere to the gospel.

While I live in Idaho, I don’t work with any members. Since I am in the media business, there is a lot of “going to lunch” with clients and co-workers. There are also business after-parties and luncheons. So, you can imagine that the food isn’t the only reason to get together.

In the morning it’s coffee, and all other times it’s tea time or happy hour. I sit and sip my Diet Coke (even though I’m not really following the WoW there either) and watch others drink lattes, iced tea, and margaritas. I get offered coffee still every morning by who ever is getting their morning fix out of the work thermos, since my office is closest.

It’s not that I want to drink, it’s just the weird looks and questions I get from co-workers that make the situation uncomfortable. Like they can’t believe that I am LDS. Maybe I don’t “look” LDS. I can’t imagine living in a bigger city where almost no one even knows what a “Mormon” is. Saying “Oh, I don’t drink” isn’t usually enough for the big city folk. They follow up with a “Why not?” and simply reply “What for?” instead of giving them the first discussion.

It is an inevitable truth that alcohol brings people together, much like food does. The person who has a drink with the boss after work is sometimes the forerunner for a promotion. Spotting a co-worker at a party is a sure-fire way to have something to talk about Monday. I just want to shout from the rooftops that “Hey! None of it is worth it!” If Jack Daniel’s gets a promotion for boozin’ it with the boss, I would reconsider my place of work. If Jack and Captian Morgan are bestest friends because they hooked up with the same chick Friday night, just be glad it wasn’t you they hooked up with.

There is nothing good that comes from coffee, tea, or alcohol. I used to argue otherwise, I will admit. “Tea has antioxidants!” So does a handful of blueberries. “One glass of wine is good for your heart.” So is an aspirin.

I have a deep and sincere feeling that one day the rest of the world will actually see the same as we do. People will begin to see the repercussions of all these things. For example, tobacco was forbidden by the Mormon Church long before the 1900’s, when people smoked like chimneys and hadn’t a care in the world. Same with pregnant women and drinking. They used to think it was a good thing to have a few drinks “for the baby!” That was just in this past century. Think about what will happen in the next few centuries. We will look back and say, “I can’t believe anyone ever smoked cigarettes or drank alcohol!” We are getting close to the no-smoking thing with the “truth” campaigns and smoking restrictions in public places, etc…

There are also a few things I think they need to add to the WoW. Like food. Rather, bad food. I know the prophets have stated that eating food in moderation is good. But I think we need something more concrete. With the diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc… I wouldn’t be surprised of Thomas Monson and God had a little chat about adding “Twinkies” to the list.

I also think that “tanning” should be outlawed in general. I used to do it all the time, but when I really thought about it – it’s exactly like smoking. It causes cancer, it causes wrinkles, it’s somewhat addictive (tanners know what I mean), and it’s a “fad.” Smoking was a fad, and now look at it. Being tan is a fad, too. Whoever says that it’s good to get a “base tan” before you go out in the sun so you don’t burn, is an idiot. Sorry. Use sunscreen!

Anyway, the point is – if you are having trouble keeping the Word of Wisdom in an environment that isn’t ideal, don’t fret. The stronger you are, the more blessings will fall upon you. I have respect for members who are minorities in their colleges and towns. I also hope that SAHM’s realize how lucky they are. I know it’s not easy to be one, but I also think I would be closer to the gospel, God, and the Word of Wisdom if I were a SAHM. Maybe that’s why wives are so awesome and have to keep their working husbands in line. (Just kidding husbands.)

Alright, until next time.