Doing the Right Thing

Today I went to the DMV to register my new car. Yes, I bought it despite my previous post on Spending Money. If you had read that post, you'd agree that my purchase was justified. All that aside, I got a killer deal on a 2006 Chevy Malibu. It's nice - not as big as an Impala, not as small as a Cobalt - and will be great for when we have a family. It's charcoal gray, and very sexy. If a car can be a 4 door sedan and still be sexy, this is it. *drool*

Anyway, I went to the DMV and got it all registered. 65 bucks and change. I got $100 out of the ATM and gave the woman 60 bucks, thinking it was $80. She gave me change for $70. I quickly corrected her saying the ATM only gives 20's, so it MUST have been 80 and she gave me the extra money. As I walked to the car, I realized I had an extra $20 in my hand. Without a second thought I turned around and went back in to correct my mistake, and gave the 20 back.

It wasn't until I was out in my car again that I realized I would NOT have done that around 5 years ago. I would have dimissed it as good fortune and gone shopping. What made me turn around so fast? Impulse? Habit? The theory that good fortune is returned three fold for doing something honest and good? I don't know. Does this mean I will get $60 in return? Does blogging about my good deed take it away?

Well, I don't know about all that. I guess since I was baptized 4 years ago, lots of things have changed. Would we still do the right things if we didn't assume we would get blessings for doing so? Does expecting something in return completely erase the good deed in itself?

What about tithing? We all have a testimony of tithing the the good things it brings to our lives. Would we have that same testimony if nothing happened and you just gave your money to a good cause? Is the good feeling you get a good enough reward?

I don't know, maybe you all have an opinion?

My Temple Wedding

This past Friday (08/08/08) was not only the first day of the 2008 Olympic Games, but it was also the day my husband and I got sealed in the temple!

Two years ago on May 20 we were married civilly. It was a beautiful wedding atop a penthouse in downtown Boise. At that point we weren't really worried about getting sealed. We weren't preventing it from happening by our actions either - we just didn't feel ready. In school we tended to be nomadic, so we rarely attended church.

This year we settled down a bit, were able to go to church, and began to think about "Time and All Eternity." Picking a date is never difficult for us. May 20th is the date right between our birthdays - so 08/08/08 seemed like a cool date too. Not to mention that the infinity symbol (∞) has always been important to us as we used it to express our love when we were first dating. We used to say that our love could be represented by the ordered pair (-∞,∞) negative infinity to positive infinity. (Don't laugh.) How appropriate for a temple wedding - time and all eternity. (If you didn't notice, the infinity symbol is an 8 on its side....just making sure you caught that....)

Anyway, we were sealed around 8am. I think my husband's parents (and his whole family for that matter) were a little miffed that it was so early. They assumed I scheduled it for 8am because of our date, but really it was the only time they had available that day. (Which I was very surprised by.) My father-in-law told us he arrived a little late so we could be sealed at 8:08. Ha.

The ceremony was short, as I had expected. But we were sealed by my husband's grandfather, so it was extra special. As he was speaking the words, I payed close attention. Then, both my husband and my husband's grandpa began to cry. And of course so did my husband's parents. I tried to cry, but couldn't. I was way to happy to even shed one tear. I'm not really a "happy crier," so all I could do was smile.

Our reception was to be that night at 7pm in my mom's backyard. My mom, who is not a member, spent months planning a "casual reception." We later found out that planning a full on wedding reception may have been the same amount of work. We got an above ground pool, tiki torches, a gazebo, and barbecued burgers on the grill. My mom spent hours making greek pasta salad, mini quesadillas, meatballs, cheesy sticks for the kids, and raspberry punch with orange sorbet. The food was so good it was impossible to keep it on the table. Not to mention that my mom made her very first wedding cake. Two white three-layer teirs filled with orange cream and topped with snow white frosting. It looked so professional! As a gift, she topped it with a Willow Tree figurine called "Promise."

My husband's family didn't seem so eager to help on Thursday, and really made a few of us angry. Needless to say, there was a lot of drama on Thursday night. But by Friday night after we got sealed, it was like a weight had been lifted. No one was angry, everyone helped, everyone was in a great mood. The kids were running around, swimming and eating, and the adults from both families sat around and talked like civilized people. No one wanted to leave, and by nightfall the candles and tiki torches were the only things lighting the backyard.

I really didn't want that day to end. I am so happy that I can be part of a great family. Even though they have dysfunctions - it's awesome knowing we can all come together and have fun.

My Endowment

So this weekend was a big deal. I finally went to the temple to get my endowment. Not sure if that needs to be capitalized, but we all know it's important. Overall, it was spiritual, enlightening, understandable, and actually "fun." Not many people can use this word to describe their temple experience as we can see from the poll on the left.

My husband, of course, waited until the morning of my endowment to get his recommend signed by the stake president. After a panicky morning, we headed out with my husband's aunt (who was my escort) and his uncle. They are both around 60 years old, but both exceedingly good looking and filthy rich. Maybe not filthy - but we did arrive at the temple in their black Escalade, which was awesome. (Hey I'm poor, little things amuse me.) My aunt forgot her recommend of course - she's trendy, cute, feminine, and flighty. Affectionalty called the "Fancy Nana." But with a phone call, we were able to get in.

The number one thing I am glad I did before I went in was to prepare. I know you're not supposed to know what happens in the temple before you go - and I never really found out exactly before I went in. But I did have a better clue than a few of the other brides-to-be going in. I was briefed on each part of the endowment from a few different sources, and I also Googled it myself, being wary not to read anything from ex-Mormons that might reveal sacred stuff. All in all it went just as I expected, just in a little different format.

I feel so bad for a few of the other brides who went in with me. They looked lost, scared, and giggled a little at themselves. I was the only bride-to-be that looked like I had some semblance of a clue as to what everything meant. It's no wonder people think it's weird! I will say this though, I now know EXACTLY why all the things we do in the temple are sacred. And secret. I mean, anyone could find out all the information if they really wanted to online, so it's not really secret. But it wouldn't make any sense whatsoever to them. Everything we do in the temple has meaning. For a moment, I stepped back and looked at what I was doing from an outsiders perspective, and yeah, it's a little non-traditional. When you are actually in there, and you know why, and you know what it means - your perspective is so much more understading.

People who go into the temple unprepared are in for a "treat." Like I said, I can't imagine the times before temple prep classes, or the times when you couldn't really talk about it with your husband or anyone else, and you just had to get up and go. It's really vital that we prepare our young daughters and sons for what they will see, and be as specific as allowed. We assume that we can't discuss what goes on in the temple, but the truth is, we can! Just not a few specific things. So I say - talk about! Well, not at work in front of the Catholic guy, or in the movie theatre - but seriously - talk about it with the people who haven't gone through yet at home or in private together.

For those of you who haven't gone through yet, don't worry. There's no animal/virgin sacrifices. Thankfully, I was able to really listen to what everyone was saying. The whole thing lasts a pretty long time. We got there around 1:30 and left around 7pm. So it's hard to remember everything. But keep an open mind. Nothing is really surprising - it's just cool to be reminded and learn a few new things. A word of advice - get endowed on a different day than you get sealed. I don't know why people do it all in one day. I would be too busy thinking about my reception/dress/ceremony etc... than listening and learning. Plus it's a lot to remember.

Afterwards we headed back to our aunt and uncle's "mansion" where we openly discussed things. It was great not to have to dance around anything, and just be able to talk about it. I sipped strawberry lemonade from their crystal glasses and shifted with my silky garments. I actually really like my garments! They are the most comfortable things I've ever worn under my clothes. No tight straps, poking underwire, wedgies or anything! We concluded the night watching my uncle's video of the press conference for Stephenie Meyer (author of the Twilight series.) Since Stephenie is our cousin, he went down to San Diego for the Twilight movie event - and is all proud and excited. Yeah I'm jealous!

Anyway, this Friday my hubby and I are going to the Boise temple to get sealed! Wish us luck!

The Stake President Saw Me Naked

Well, bascially. It felt like it.

I am ashamed. I have all these cute summer clothes. Mostly tank tops and shorts. I've had them for years and they're perfectly broken in. Granted, sometimes they leave little to the imagination, but with 100 degree heat I'm prepared to run around naked if that's what it takes.

Yesterday I was of course sporting the tank top and short shorts while hubby and I were dropping off a movie real quick. Normally, I wouldn't be caught dead in public wearing an outfit like that - they are generally strictly for "home use." But we were in a rush because he had to get to the stake president's office to get his recommend signed. My endowment is this weekend, and of course he's put it off until now.

We let the time get away from us, and realized that I would have to take him over to the stake center for his interview, then pick him up afterward. I dropped him off, but instead of leaving I decided to just wait in the car.

About ten minutes later hubby emerges asking for more "documentation" or something - with the stake president right behind him. I am literally thinking, "Oh, Shit." Which is perhaps not the right thing to be thinking at this juncture. I shuffled around in the backseat to try and find something to cover myself up with. (The cleavage in this shirt I was wearing is a little rediculous.) I found my girl's camp sweatshirt and just as the stake president approached the car, I wrapped it around myself.

More than a little embarassed, my husband feigned some excuse that we were swimming and tried to get him away from me.

A few things I learned on this adventure:

1. Always be prepared (i.e. don't dress slutty) to meet someone important at any time of the day.

2. My broken in clothes will no longer be feasible after this weekend.

3. Wearing garments will be a very rude awakening. But still an excuse to buy more clothes.

4. Always keep a large sweater in your car. Not only for a situation like this - but just in case you get mugged and they take your clothes.

5. Have good excuses handy.

For Those Who Live in Salt Lake City

I feel special as a Mormon. When I walk into the Deseret Book or Distribution Center and watch the lady in the skimpy tube dress, or the guy with the tattoo of a snake on his face stare at me, I feel happy, special....I feel like I know something they don't. Which, technically, I do. When I am searching for clothes with capped sleeves or long skirts, when I leave my Gospel Principles book on the front seat of my car, when I say I want 5 children and I'm only 23 - people who aren't Mormon get the hint. I'm proud. And of course, a convert.

I don't think you can be this excited about your religion if you've known nothing else. I love going into Deseret Book and buying overpriced paintings of temples I've never been to, foil embossed scriptures, hymn cd's, scripture highlighters, CTR rings, cheeky romantic novels with two people on the cover holding hands - It's so...so...cultish. Sorry. There's probably a better word, so excuse my lack of vocabulary. I just love being a part of all this fun stuff we do outside of church. Buying stuff at the distribution center dirt cheap, making your own "plaque" that says "Families are Forever," etc...

Except of course, when I go to a place like Idaho Falls or Salt Lake City. When you proudly go into the bookstore, no one stares at you. They follow you in. When you go into a bridal shop to search for a dress, you have to ask for a dress WITHOUT capped sleeves. Wal-Mart has special jewelry sections devoted to CTR rings, young women's necklaces, and primary bracelets. When you pass a parked car, not only is the Gospel Principles book in plain view, but amidst the four car seats you spy primary crafts, three sets of scriptures, a Young Women's guide, and ten little stick figures stuck to the back window in descending order.

I guess I never realized how hugely enormous the LDS church is. When I went to Georgia, a bunch of girls I met there had no clue what a Mormon was. At all. So I just figured I was part of something that hadn't yet grown into a huge religion. Yeah, we have our little bookstores and special clothing shops, but I underestimated us - big time.

Here are some of my former misconceptions:

1. Weddings are small and modest. HA! Have you ever opened an LDS bridal magazine? Most of these brides have doctors for fathers - therefore dropping $20,000 on a wedding reception is nothing. I thought everyone had a backyard barbecue and invited family only. I guess you can save a lot more money if you omit a ceremony and pool all the funds into a killer reception!

2. The only LDS author is Stephenie Meyer. While the Twilight series is probably the most popular now, there is a ridiculous amount of books by LDS authors about LDS stuff. Love, family, fiction, non-fiction. There's an entire library on dating, which doesn't surprise me at all.

3. Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre are the only movies ever made by a Mormon. Correction: There are huge LDS themed production companies that have made millions upon millions of dollars and continue to distribute all types of movies, both about Mormons, and by Mormons.

4. LDS bloggers are lonely and are quite outnumbered by Anti-Mormon sites on the web. Pffttt. That's all I have to say.


In short, I severely underestimated the whole "Mormon" culture thing. Going to Salt Lake City was a huge eye opener. It's like no one there has ever heard of a tank top, or Starbucks. I guess it's just a culture!

My Embarassing Temple Trip

Last night our ward drove up to the Idaho Falls temple to do baptisms for the dead with the Youth.

I drove up to the church, making sure I had extra underwear and makeup for afterward packed away in my little brown bag in my purse. I was right on time, at 5pm. However according to Mormon time I was 15 minutes early. So I waited around for some others to show up. I was wearing a tea length skirt and flip flops as the other youth leaders arrived in long skirts, heels, and pantyhose. I huddled with the people I knew the most, and watched four suburbans pull into the parking lot. The prayer was given once everyone arrived, and the bishop handed me my temporary temple recommend. (Mine had expired, and I've been too lazy to get a new one.) We piled into one of the suburbans, and of course I sat in the very back next to the luggage. The women had these ugly floral laptop-case-looking bags, which I assumed carried the stuff that I brought in a paper sack. All in all, there were four girls and two guys in the car, all my age.

I looked around and realized that there is a distinct possibility that I was completely misplaced. This may be purely coincidental, but the three women in front of me all had the exact same cropped bob for a haircut, with blonde highlights on top, and a burgundy red underneath. They all wore the loose fitting empire waist shirts with short sleeves that gather at the shoulder. Pantyhose, long skirts, and black tacky shoes. They all started talking about their babies and toddlers. Drool this, poop that. I looked out the window and tried to remember where I was going, and what I was doing. Despite the fact that the Young Adults of the Corn were taking me there.

Once we got to the temple, we sat in pews to have prayer. The temple workers informed us that any endowed members won't be able to get baptized, and would have to help. Therefore all the adults went to get their temple clothes on. I am not endowed yet. So there I sat. The only woman over the age of 17. I talked to the girls, trying to pretend that I ELECTED to get baptized with them "to be cool."

I have only done baptisms for the dead once, so I was rusty. Rusty as in, I looked a little lost the entire time. Thankfully, the endowed sisters realized that I was terrified and guided me along in the least condescending way possible. When it was my turn, I stepped into the nice warm, chlorine filled water. The guy baptizing looked a little scrawny, so I decided beforehand that I would help him out a little and be sure to really "push" off the bottom when he brought me back out of the water. (Let's face it, his arms would get tired.) However, I was entirely too eager and had to be "re-dipped" twice. Frick, even the teenagers could do this part.

After all was said and done, I was basically over my sheer mortification. (What could be worse than being dressed in a white jumpsuit that gets completely soaking wet?) So I gave up on the whole "trying to look cool and knowledgeable" thing, and dripped my way into the locker room. I got dressed, and prepared to do my makeup. However, the slick counters, partnered with my clumsiness, made a fascinating scene as my foundation shattered on the floor. Thankfully, it was that “solid” mousse stuff, so it didn’t get everywhere. But if you ever visit the Idaho Falls temple, and get your foot sliced open by broken glass – that was my fault.

I barely made it to the “movie” room (which is new to me…) and tried to isolate myself in a corner to not cause any further humiliation. All the girls came in and sat next to me. They talked about how many times they had seen “Johnny Lingo,” and I ended up confessing that I had never seen it. They gasped in horror. Or maybe jealousy. Like, “Your mom let’s you watch non-LDS movies?” Yes. My mom.

The scrawny guy that baptized me came in and apologized for not knowing who I was, and having to ask my name at the font. He remembered that I was new to the ward. He said he assumed I was a new “Youth.” That was the best news I heard all day.

Now for the best part. The food. We trekked downstairs to the cafeteria. I was ravenous, but tried to minimize the piling on of food since the ward was footing the bill. I got a normal sized plate of food, with a piece of pumpkin pie. (And I even omitted the scone for diet purposes.) I sat in front of my visiting teacher and her husband only to witness that them, along with everyone else, had done the opposite of me. Three scones, pie, salad, chicken, veggies, Jello, potatoes, milk, soup, fruit, juice, butter, all on one tray. However, ultimately I am glad my eyes weren’t bigger than my stomach as it was more that satisfying. Apparently, people actually fast all day to prepare for this temple food, and I can see why. Yum!

It was a great experience. Embarrassing at times, but really great. And even though the women who drove with me are all a little “Carrie Conformist,” I think I am going to make a concerted effort to make them my friends.

A Drunken Weekend

We had an awesome weekend. My husband and I joined his sister and her friends and family (the niece and nephew we spend all our time with) at a local reservoir for camping, hiking, fishing, and just hanging out. We took the speedboat out on the water and fished until sunset. We caught a few bass and my husband learned to cook them on the fire. All in all, it was great.

The only stick in my side was the fact that my husband and I were the ONLY adults not drinking alcohol. For three solid days, there were at least 20 adults (adults mind you, some not over 21) that were so drunk that the smell of alcohol radiated from their pores. There were also about 10 children that were exposed to their belligerent parents stumbling around and waking them up at four in the morning. The drunks would hop in their cars and drive around like it was no big deal. Then they would drive the speedboat around like wild banshees. The children weren’t fazed at all however, as this is apparently a regular practice.

My husband and I tried to keep the children occupied and away from all the drunken banter happening near the campfire. As the weekend rolled on, the children must have figured out that we weren’t drinking, so they followed us everywhere we went.

I constantly get the classic question, “Why can’t Mormons drink? A little alcohol is good for you!”

Why? Because you can’t control yourself. Some people can. Some can’t. Why take a chance and ruin the lives of your children, your family, and yourself? Yes, drinking alcohol is “fun” to you – but what about those around you? YOU may not be an alcoholic, but what about the people you associate with?

I thank God so much for the Word of Wisdom. There is a reason that He doesn’t want us to drink alcohol, and I saw it this weekend. Not that I needed one weekend to understand – my father was an alcoholic. I also hope that those who were raised in the church and were never exposed to it are thankful for the blessings they received.

On a side note, I don’t think we would have had as much fun had we not gone with a bunch of drunken lunatics. We drove around to find some fishing spots, and came upon a “Mormon” campsite. Either that or these people loved polos, capped sleeves, long shorts, and tons of children. They had just as many people as us, but no one was laughing. The children were all confined to the “grassy” area, and the adults were all sitting around in chairs, holding babies. Their campers were new and shiny without a smudge of dirt on them, and the men tended to their wives instead of hanging out with the guys.

If we had gone camping with them, we’d have been the life of the party!

Sunday Prayer

For the first time since I joined the church, I will be saying the closing prayer in Sacrament meeting this week. I know it might not be a big deal for everyone else, but I am pretty nervous about the whole thing. I have secretly been practicing in my head, and I just hope I don't revert to my childhood Baptist "Dear Baby Jesus" prayers.

When I pray in front of other people, I usually do pretty well. I start with "Our Father in Heaven..." but try to avoid the prayer template. (Below)

My husband and I were talking about this, and he said, "Just make sure to include lots of "Thee's" "Thou's" and "Thy's."

I laughed. But he wasn't kidding. He said that someone might end up talking to me after Sacrament about it if I didn't. On his mission, a new member got up and started praying without "Thee" or "Thou" and the Bishop talked to them afterwards about including it in their prayers from now on.

"Umm, how about I pray the way I want to? I mean, I won't be waving my hands and "Praisin' Jesus" - but I don't want to sacrifice content for formality. Thinking about adding "thy" instead of "your" will make me get all jumbled up." I said.

He agreed. He just didn't want me to feel bad if someone said something to me. If someone came up to me and said I had to start using "Thee" and "Thou" I might leave the ward.

Yes, there is a certain way to pray. And for those who DO use the formal words and prayer template, I don't blame you. Not only was it the way Mormons were taught, but it's also a way to "fit in." Heavenly Father knows me. He knows that the way I pray is reverent and formal - not fake. If I started using the vain "repetition" that everyone else does, knowing it's not right for me especially, prayer would no longer be about praying. It would be about trying to fit in with everyone else, and sounding like a sheep.

To a point, I will stay within the loose prayer guidelines. But I won't be using the same voice inflection, or trying to input Thee's and Thou's. I want to say a prayer so that people will pay attention instead of zoning out like I do. The only prayers I tend to pay attention to are those that are unique. So that's what I want to be, unique!


The Mormon Prayer Template

Our Dear Kind and Gracious Heavenly Father

We are so very grateful to be able to gather here this Sabbath Day

We are grateful for: (Insert Sacrament speakers here) who were able to (enlighten, regail, bore) us with their testimonies.

And we ask that Thou wildst bless those who were unable to join us.

We ask that Thou would bless our family and friends (with good health, so that they may have the holy spirit with them, to bring something other than Jell-O to the picnic)

And we also ask, Dear Heavenly Father, that we will take the words spoken here today and apply them in our own lives

We humbly say these things in the Holy Name of Thy Son Jesus Christ Amen

Lifetime Member is Skeptical

I recently had a conversation with someone I know very well about the church. This person was raised in the gospel, and nearly did everything expected of him throughout his life. More recently he has become somewhat of a skeptic of the entire "organized religion" thing which is no doubt a direct result of both arrogance and intelligence. He began bringing up philosophical questions like, "What if you're brainwashed into thinking all this stuff?" and "Everyone just follows the leader, no one has a mind of their own."

I think his dismay stems from a talk given by his stake leader a few weeks ago. This talk was devoted to the "bashing" of video games, and all video game paraphernalia - equating it almost to pornography. This particular guy is of course, very into video games, as are both my husband and I. So in conversation, we were all very angry that a church leader would bash video games so wholeheartedly. Granted, video games should be treated much like food - have in moderation. But that was apparently not the point made.

As he continued talking, and questioning the gospel, Joseph Smith, etc... He mentioned that no one in church ever talks about "Cain's mark" or other controversial things, and church is always the same thing over and over again. My husband turned and said "Hey! My wife is a new member and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk like that." My husband continued to get angry that a lifelong member would be talking himself out of the gospel, when I spent so much time talking myself into the gospel.

I was glad he "defended my honor" in a way. But I stopped him and said, "Honey, there's nothing he can say that will make me change my mind. You forget that he never got the chance to ask questions growing up in the church, and I did." I turned to the skeptic and said, "Please continue. I have already researched everything you're going to say, and I still got baptized."

I hope that lifelong members will continue to ask questions, and not take everything they've learned at face value. Being a skeptic initially myself, I have asked many questions, and received many answers. I also still don't know a lot of things. But there's no point in believing in something if you don't know what it is you believe in. And while we do have a Prophet living today that guides us, it doesn't mean that everyone in the church has that same authority. So don't be sheep.

Mormon Church Cliques

Sitting in church is much like sitting in a high school cafeteria. While the groups aren't allocated by geography, one can generally decipher which Mormon Clique they belong to. Of course this varies by ward, but you get the point.


1. The RM

Return Missionaries can often be identified easily as they still have "leftovers" from their mission. Leftover suits, shoes, haircuts, bibles, etc... They are often enthusiastic about the gospel, reverent, and exceedingly haughty at times. They also have wandering eyes, and tend to flirt.

2. The Convert

Also an enthusiastic bunch. Their prayers tend to be more unique, and sometimes strange. They get funny looks on their face when certain lingo is used, like “CES.” They REALLY pay attention in Sacrament and love Fast and Testimony. They haven’t quite mastered quick scripture lookup or taking the water gracefully.

3. The SAHM

This is the “Stay at Home Mom.” Quite a popular group. They can usually be found in the hallway or in the back of the church with a child on their hip speaking with other SAHMs. Can’t really pay attention due to the amount of unruly children they try to keep at bay. They often do more church activities on days other than Sunday, perhaps to make up for lost time.

4. The Overly Worthy Priesthood Holder

This guy could be mistaken for a missionary if it weren’t for his age, or the children attached to his ankles. He’s often quite attentive or out in the hallway holding the children, as to allow his wife to listen to sacrament. He’s outspoken in Sunday School and Priesthood, and is kind to everyone in the ward. The bishop is usually (hopefully) part of this group.

5. The "Elder"ly

Most often found asleep, this group tends to be those over the age of 70. They’ve been going to church so long that it seems they’ve heard it all. While they’re often inspiring to family members, their talks can get long and off-topic. They’re intelligent about the gospel, and can answer almost any question, although they tend to stick to the “old ways” and don’t like change.

6. The Disgruntled Teen

Usually dressed in trendy outfits, these teens are always on the fashion forefront but feel the way about church much like other children do. They are annoyed at three hours of God talk, and by members of these other various groups. They DO believe in the gospel, and can recite their testimony almost as naturally as chewing a bite of food – without thinking. But the glum, somewhat defeated look on their faces suggests otherwise.

7. The Enthusiastic Teen

The one that has had nothing but positive experience thus far, and are always involved, paying attention, and perfectly adhering to the Word of Wisdom. Their ultimate dreams are to attend BYU, get married/go on a mission, and have children. They are heavily equipped with highlighters and extra reading material, and take notes like they’re practicing for the SAT.

8. The Intellectual

These people often “look” like they are paying attention in church, but are really gazing at the speaker and thinking of something else entirely. They generally think that if they stare in the podium’s direction, that no one is aware of what they are doing. Perhaps they’re thinking of our dependence on foreign oil, perhaps the architecture of the building, perhaps the ingredients of tonight’s dinner – whatever it is, it ain’t about God.

9. The Questionable Couple

This is the guy that comes to church with his salmon colored shirt wrinkly and un-tucked, his navy blue pants three inches too short, and a bow tie. His wife is wearing orange fishnet tights, silver shoes, and a neon green dress. Okay, maybe you’ve never seen them – but they are in my ward and I think they might be from another planet altogether. We must have some good missionaries out on Mars.

Birth Mormons vs. Converts

I haven't been in the church long enough to really notice a distinct segregation between LDS converts and those raised in the church as groups. I have noticed at on a case by case basis, the differences between the two are quite funny.

I married into a family that were all raised in the church. I however, am a convert. Along with his family, it seems the large majority of the members are alike in several ways. While I love the church, the gospel, and everything about it - there are a few things that I cannot succumb to in order to "fit in." Of course, there are a few things that I am innately good at that I enjoy doing that just happen to be congruent with popular Mormon culture. Here are a few things I do differently:

1. I don't pray like everyone else.

And thank the Lord. Everyone who was raised in the church (that I have seen) pray's the EXACT same. It's quite annoying. "Our dear kind and gracious Heavenly Father we are so very grateful thy spirit....we ask thee to bless...blah blah blah." They also use the EXACT same inflections in their voice every time. I know there is a certain way you should pray, but I'm sure God didn't want us all to sounds like Mo'bots. Mix it up a little people. God made us different for a reason.

2. I don't wear floor length skirts, brown with black, floral print, have curled bangs, and other fashion faux pas.

Why? Because they are all hideous. I understand we don't go to church to make a fashion statement, but the statement you make is really "I don't care enough about myself to try." Yeah kids, work, school, being a SAHM is always stressful and we don't have time to dress for the prom. But a little effort in the fashion department couldn't hurt.



Things I do the same:

1. I blog.

Blogging in Mormon culture is just a given. Especialy for SAHMs that have nothing to do. Even though I am at work right now. *oops*

2. I'm crafty.

I have always been really crafty, artsy, etc... Until I joined the church and now I am like everyone else. Actually, I would say I am craftier than many people in the church anyway.

3. I like cooking, cleaning, and being a good housewife.

I am not necessarily GREAT at it yet. But I like the feeling of responsibility. I hate the feeling of being TOLD to do it, or EXPECTED to do. Especially because I work full time.


Of course these are just some examples. Those who were raised in the church also have a certain air about them. It's a little muted, low contrast, vanilla, etc... But I think converts also have that. I go out of my way NOT to tell people I am a convert because the respect level shoots downward, and the judgement begins to rise. No one talks about it of course, because people in the church tend to put on the "Mormon Front." It's a wonderful, perfect gospel with imperfect people following it. Which is what bugs me about those who leave the church claiming that they felt ostracized. Just because you don't like the people, doesn't mean you shouldn't follow the gospel. But that's another post.

My statements here aren't to be completely taken seriously, and I am not attempting to categorize every single LDS soul into categories. Like I said, my husband's family was raised in the church and mine was not. His family had seven children, mine had two. Among the nine kids are 4 college graduates, 3 felons, 1 high school dropout, 2 working mothers, 1 divorcee, 1 in prison, and 1 doctor. Of course these overlap a bit, but it's still quite a mix. And I bet you can't guess who is in which family!

My Conversion

I grew up in a Baptist family. My parents were what some considered "hippies" and we went to church on Easter and Christmas. Mormons were a major population in my high school, and actually compiled most of the popular crowd. I was always bitter at seminary students, as I thought they got a grade for attending. I thought Mormons believed in Joseph Smith instead of Jesus, that their rules were stupid, and that they were going to Hell. Of course, I was in high school.

While in college I met my husband online (of all places) and he was a member of the church. (At this point everyone stops listening to my story and assumes that I converted because of him, and not for myself.) One of the downfalls of meeting online is that you live in separate parts of the country (or in our case - state) and in-person visits are rare. But through online chats, phone calls, and weekend visits we ended up falling in love. He never pushed his religion on me, but I was always skeptical. When I asked questions, he answered. But he always encouraged me to talk to the sister missionaries. Set out to prove him wrong, so I began to visit with the missionaries, hoping that I could refute everything they said.

I asked every question to three sets of missionaries over a period of 2 years. I didn't want anything to fall through the cracks. When it comes to salvation, there isn't room for ignorance. I researched and researched until I became blue in the face. For some, the answer comes quickly but the answer for me came slowly. I realized that knowing what I know now - about Joseph Smith, the Apostasy, the Book of Mormon - there was no turning back. I already believed the history. I already knew in my heart that it was true. God gave me an answer and I didn't listen.

I was too concerned with what other people thought about me. I lived in a sorority - the worst place to convert to a church that doesn't allow drinking. People looked at me like I was an idiot. They went out every weekend, got drunk, had sex, and looked down on ME. My mother was mildly supportive, maintaining that I was Baptist at heart and as long as I wasn't sacrificing animals it was okay. The day of my Baptism, my father -who had been sober for 8 years - got drunk at a local bar. My stepmother blamed me for his fall off the wagon.

I was baptized on April 26th, 2005. Even though the water was cold and the day was cloudy, my heart was finally warm and full. After I came out of the water the missionaries and church members were there supporting me - and everything else didn't matter.

Since then I have been plagued with Anti-Mormon material, former friends who don't listen, and every manner of negative information about our church. I have taken it in and STILL, my testimony becomes stronger with each day. I accept the imperfections in our church and in the people in it, but I also am smart enough to know that what I feel in my heart every day is stronger than anything people say. Now, I have a better relationship with my parents than I have ever had.