Last night I got down on the side of the bed and started praying as usual. Normally, I thank Him for the things he's given me, and humbly ask Him for the things I need or want. I always include a line about "keeping family and friends safe" and try to thank Him as much as possible for the individual ways in which I've been blessed lately, hoping that my "requests" and "thank you's" will balance out by the prayers end.
Lat night I was sort of at a stand still. I prayed SO hard for my husband and I to get the Lap-Band these past few months that we ended up actually getting it on Dec. 8th together. That was probably the best thing that has ever happened to us both! But now, my husband is having horrendous foot pain. He had gout before, (which is one of the most painful things a man can go through...comparable to child birth they say) and now it's just so much worse. They think it might even be Rheumatiod Arthritis which BOTH of our mother's have, so we know it really, really sucks. He has to use a crutch and even cries because it hurts so bad. And hubby ain't no pansy either. He's gigantic and muscley and just...not a "crier." So I know it's bad.
He said..."What if asking God for something is a lot like making a wish? You know, like when you wish for a million dollars and your dad ends up dying so you can get his life insurance or something... and THAT'S how you get the million dollars? What if God is like that and he gave us the Lap-Band, but then gives me Rheumatiod Arthritis?"
I didn't really know what to say, because maybe he had a point. Thoughts?
13 comments:
i don't think god "gives" us things like rheumatoid arthritis. i think some things are just the way life is, consequences of being mortal, things like genetic problems, death and illness. things may be the result of other's choices. the lord can't protect us from everything. otherwise, we wouldn't grow and learn.
i have really, really struggled a lot over the past few years with prayer and wondering if god hears them and cares enough to answer them. sometimes i even get angry, after spending so much time praying for help and (i feel) getting nothing.
but i've decided that the lord just can't protect us from everything. i do believe that saying that he won't give us anything we can't handle (with his help). that doesn't make it any easier, but at least it offers a little bit of hope.
i hope your husband gets better soon. how miserable it must be!
Lap-Band? You are happy about getting lap-band surgery?
I always remember the saying 'Be careful what you wish for'.
I do know that when we pray for stuff sometimes we won't get it, and other times we'll get it, just not the way we wanted (like your $1M example).
I guess only time will tell if the arthritis and lap band are related somehow.
Anonymous - WHY would I NOT be happy about the lap band? We are going to be SKINNY!!! that's the best news EVER.
Isn't arthritis sometimes related to being overweight though? I thought that it was...
I sometimes feel like that though. It's like sometimes, whenever something good happens, I am waiting for something bad to happen as well. Or in the case of infertility, I keep thinking 'Well, maybe this is God's way of punishing us for being too promiscuous in the past'. I try not to pray too much for things that I know He cannot control though. I usually try and pray for things like strength to get through things or calmness or things like that.
When you said lap band I thought you were talking about those exercise machines they sold in the 70's. :]
http://nashville.craigslist.org/spo/966534827.html
Congratulations on successful surgeries! God has brought you this far; he's not going to desert you now. I agree with cornnut - I don't believe God gives us such things, either. I can't explain why your poor hubby is suffering so badly right now, but I do know that God will give both of you the strength to handle it, and that the perspective of time will help you to understand what you will have learned from this whole painful experience.
Your poor hubby! To be feeling so good about the surgery and then to have to put up with this awful pain!
I'm really sorry to hear he is in so much pain, and I hope he can find relief soon.
I DO think that often when we pray for something sincerely, he will allow it for us -whatever the consequences end up being. For example, I prayed and prayed and prayed that when I met my future husband I would just know right away that he would be the one -because I really didn't want to mess that decision up with my own romantic ideals and my typically overly emotional heart. After the first date with my husband I knew that he was "the one" I was specifically told that by the Spirit. It was very strange, because I had just met him -but I had prayed and my prayers were answered. It took him two years to figure it out though and what a very frustrating two years that was for me!
Anywho...
I truly believe that our free agency runs far deeper than we understand. I believe that our very thoughts have power in them and especially our day to day choices.
I think quite a lot, I'll even say most of our health problems are natural consequences of our own actions. Whether it be the food we eat or the environments we put ourselves in, and even the things we chose to think and focus on.
My hubby gets gout too, so as far as gout goes, look on the internet for foods to avoid (turkey is one of them, so maybe the holidays are catching up with him). My hubby has had luck drinking black cherry juice (you can buy it at health food stores) to help it go away. Hope he gets better soon! As far as prayer and consequences...I don't know, but it's got me thinking!
You know, there are alot of healt factors that are linked to obesity. That being said, I dont know if I would count anything out. As far as your husband having gout, this is caused by an excess of uric acid build up. Its a mother when the flare ups hit, but that is controlled through meds, or naturally with cherry concentrate.
If you want to go the medical route, he will need to get Allopurinol. This cuts out the uric acid build up in the blood and will ease his pain. You can also stack that with the cherry concentrate found at any health food store and see great results.
As far as blessings with consequences, its not like that at all. The Lord will not bless you in one department, but give you a negative consequence because of it. There are however consequences for the choices we make. That is just the way it goes.
Cornnut32,
I disagree. Sometimes I think we do get things we can't handle. There's an interesting debate on this over at Mormon Matters. check out http://mormonmatters.org/2008/12/26/even-more-annoying-false-doctrines/
April, imagine you had NOT been able to get the lap band surgery, which I know you were praying for, and then your hubby had the RA problems on top of THAT. You'd be feeling doubly UNblessed. I don't know that one thing had to do with the other at all. We all have trials. And they are no fun. But it's what we signed up for. And if we handle it well, we'll be stronger for it. It's what sucks and is important all at the same time.
I just re-read Elder Bednar's conf. talk on prayer in the Nov Ensign. It's awesome. It doesn't really directly answer your question or one's I've had lately about prayer, but it gave me a bit of a shift in my thinking about how best to use it.
It's just like when Joseph Smith wanted to show someone the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon, that are now lost. He was told no, but didn't listen and kept asking until he got the answer he wanted. Now we don't have those 116 pages anywhere. Could be the same thing...
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