My Very First Lesson

Now that I am a Young Women's Advisor, I get to prepare a lesson every other Sunday. This past Sunday was my very first lesson in the Mia Maids group. For some "lucky" reason, the Beehives also joined in on my talk on "Temple Marriage."

How appropriate, I thought. I will be talking about something I myself know hardly anything about, because I haven't gone to the temple yet. Me and hubby will be going on 08/08/08.

I made little triangles out of paper illustrating that God was at the very top, and man and wife were the other corners. I researched and prepared my lesson like the manual said. Then I just thought - "Screw it, I won't pretend to teach these girls about something I don't know."

So I figured I would approach it like this:

Me: How many times have you been talked to about Temple Marriage?
Them: About a billion!
Me: Why?
Them: Because it's important!

Here is where I confess that I haven't been married in the temple yet. I explain that I am only civilly married to my husband.

Me: So since you guys have been talked to about it already, why don't you teach me a thing or two?

Since our ward has no chalk in the building apparently, I took my finger and drew a triangle on the board in the chalk dust. At the top I put "God" and on the corners I put "Hubby" and "Me" respectively.

I handed them an answer sheet, and started asking questions.

Me: So, if I never get married in the temple, how long will me and hubby be married?
Them: (hesitant but accurate) Until you die?
Me: Right! And in the temple?
Them: Time and all eternity!!

I continued with questions, and allowed them to answer for me.

Everything was going smoothly until a spry young Beehive started asking the, Umm, difficult questions.

Beehive: So it says we will be Gods and Goddesses. What about everyone else? If I don't get married in the temple, will I be their servants? What if my parents get married in the temple and I don't? Will I be with them? Will I be with my husband? Will I ever see my husband? What if my kids don't get married in the temple?

Another advisor spoke up and offered her opinion on the theory of eternal progression. One thing lead to another, and we all began talking about the galaxy, milky way, where we are, and if there is life on other planets. We came to the conclusion that there is life on other planets, much like this one. And according to the other advisor, they are more advanced than we are. Thankfully, she instructed the young girls not to take her too seriously. They all looked a little stunned. I was picturing lanky green men on a purple mushroom studded planet. It seemed the others were too.

Plus, I don't know what school has been teaching these kids, but among the Mia Maids, Beehives, and two adult advisors, not a single one knew that our solar system is only a very small speck in the milky way galaxy and that the Universe is made up of billions of galaxies like our own. Not sure what they thought, but they were all completely surprised when I informed them. Perhaps thats what you get when you go directly from high school to motherhood.

If I could tell the Young Women anything, it would be this:

1. Go to school after high school. I don't care if you've met your soulmate and want to procreate as soon as possible. There will be a time when you CAN'T, and you will regret that you didn't.

2. Relax. God's watching out for you. If you don't meet "Mr. Right" now, that's probably a good thing. Take time for YOU first. Find out who YOU are. Then concentrate on meeting someone of quality, instead of someone in high school.

3. Don't underestimate family. Many Mormon girls take the whole "family" thing way out of hand and feel that marrying Peter Priesthood and having 6 children is the way it should be done. Do it the way you WANT to. If you don't want children, don't feel pressured. If you do, go ahead. But don't let church stereotypes and cliques influence your life so much that you lose yourself.

4. Get to know the guy before you marry him. There's no church doctrine that says you have to marry him within a few weeks, or even a few months of dating. Mormons are notorious for meeting then getting married a few months later. (I suspect this is due to our vow of chastity however.) But wouldn't you much rather be happy for the rest of your life, than marry some guy you barely know because you're horny? Relax. Take your time. A good rule is to date for a year. That way you get to see him at all seasons, and during all Holidays.

Hopefully, the girls won't be scarred for life and tell their parents that we're teaching them about aliens.


Moody said...

I think that was a great approach because at that age they definitely think they know everything! I like your list too. I wish I had had one like it, and I agree about the horny factor playing into short engagements!

Mormon Heretic said...

Excellent Advice! I wish more people taught these things.

BTW, I talked about you on my blog yesterday. I hope you check it out.

Faith said...

Sounds like a great approach to the lesson. When I worked in young women, the thing I most wanted for them to know was that life doesn't always turn out the way you want it to or plan for it to, but you can still have a good life nonetheless.

Anonymous said...

I like that you made it personal. That you told them that you too were looking forward to the blessings of the temple. I think the worst thing would have been to ommit the fact that you yourself haven't gone through yet.

Sounds like you did great hun!

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