Mo'Dar

Mormons are funny creatures. Now that I am a full-fledged temple recommend-holding Mormon - I've developed pretty good Mo'Dar. This is "radar" only the kind that is exceptionally good at seeking the following criteria.

The Celestial Smile or "MoGee Lines." This refers to the outlines made by garments visible under the clothes. The celestial smile is the line formed by the neckline. "MoGee" is slang for "Mormon Garment."

CTR Ring. More obvious is the Choose The Right ring, worn widely mostly by RM's (Return Missionaries) and young adults.

The Haircut: The missionary haircut is seen throughout the majority of a young male RM's life. Haircut Mo'Dar for females is not accurate. However, you can usually be accurate in assuming a female with an RM haircut is NOT a Mormon.

Geography. There's a 75% chance that someone who lives in Utah is Mormon. About a 27% chance that someone from Idaho is Mormon. Of course this varies by city or town. Where I live, I would say there's a good 50% chance that some random stranger you meet is Mormon. In Idaho Falls - just 45 minutes away - that percentage jumps to probably 80%. There's some pretty sweet statistics at this site if you're interested.

Clothing. If your Mo'Dar is unable to decipher MoGee lines, or if the subject begins to feel uncomfortable as you examine them - pay attention to their clothing. Do the women wear capped sleeve shirts and long skirts or pants? Do the men wear button up or polo shirts? Young adults of the Mormon persuasion tend to dress modestly by comparison. This is more difficult to decipher as subjects increase in age.

Shopping habits. The likelihood of a subject being Mormon increases greatly if they are found shopping or working at any of these stores - Old Navy, Motherhood, OfficeMax, Costco, Sam's Club, Abercrombie and Fitch, Aeropostale, JoAnn's Fabrics, and of course any store with the actual name of the church or "Deseret" in it.

Occupation. The likelihood that one is Mormon increases if they have any of these occupations. For men: student, doctor, physicians assistant, computer hardware/software tech., dentist, or manager. For women: Teacher, Stay-At-Home-Mom, any type of service work, nurse, or dental hygienist.

House décor. If you've stopped by the new neighbor’s house for a visit, be sure your Mo'Dar pays attention to the house decor. If there aren’t readily any photos of Jesus on the wall, check for wall plaques with sayings like “Families are Forever,” Ensign magazines strewn about, or a framed family proclamation.

Office décor. First, note the subjects age. The younger the professional, the more likely they are Mormon. Then take note of photographs of family. 3 or more children will throw your Mo’Dar into overdrive. If neither of these things are noted, check for Mormon paraphernalia such as LDS mouse pads or plaques with inspirational quotes often used at the MTC.

Number of children vs. age of parents. The likelihood of one being Mormon is inversely proportionate to age, and directly proportionate to number of children. The higher the number of children and the lower the age of the parents increases the chances of Mormonism. For example, a 22 year old with three children is MORE likely to be Mormon than a 32 year old with four children. However, a 32 year old with 8 children is just as likely to be Mormon as a 22 year old with 4 children.

Age of Children. If the subject’s children are 2 or less years apart in age, the chances of them being Mormon are greater.

Last but not least, Hobbies. If you find a subject participating in any of these hobbies, they are more likely to be Mormon. For men: Video games, hunting, fishing, golf, blogging, and watching TV. For women: Scrapbooking, blogging, sewing, cooking (especially anything with Jell-O), or blogging.


4 comments:

Untypically Jia said...

You forgot Paintballing, the official Mormon sport LOL!

Anonymous said...

How does a shopper at Old Navy...etc....make one more likely to be mormon? I shop at nearly all those places and am far from Mormon.

Pretty sure that all of my family enjoys those hoppies listed...how do any of those point to Mormonism...

Please enlighten me on the following: How is a male who is a white collar worker more likely to be mormon than a blue collar working male??? Isn't that a little egocentric???

My dear, I think that you have truely become one with them; which I'm sure was your goal. However, it is really sad that you are mature enough to make your own decisions yet have been so easily brainwashed. My prayers are with you.

CTR Ring Shop said...

Haha! This is awesome, and so true. I think I'm developing a pretty good mo'dar too. I'm 25 and still wear a CTR ring and talk to "older" people everyday that wear them. I think it's more than just RMs and young people.

Mission-Wear said...

Loved the comment: "If the subject’s children are 2 or less years apart in age, the chances of them being Mormon are greater."

David

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