I have posted previously about the "Mormon Front." This is the fake, yet somewhat sincere act put on by members of the church. Now, for some this comes naturally and is usually mastered by lifetime members, in which case it's not a "front" but reality. However, for us Normal Mormons, being so conformist is a little more difficult. We may have practiced a prayer or two, put out a few Ensigns on the coffee table before the home teachers arrive, made sure our BoM's look worn in (or at least not dusty), play basketball with the elders even though we hate it, go to scrapbooking nights and try not to cut off a finger, etc... Normal Mormons are very hard to spot, because they are always putting on a "front," and can therefore never reveal themselves unless they know they person they are talking to is also "Normal."
It's strange, because even though I don't like the "front" - I really try to be more "Mormon." Why? Because it's comfortable. Because I want to make friends. Because I want the people in the ward to like me. Doing these things won't guarantee salvation, and they aren't part of the Word of Wisdom. So really, it's debatable on whether or not we should even be trying. So why are Mormons so "cliquey"? Why do the people who AREN'T putting on a "front" do the same things as everyone else? Why don't they ever deviate from the norm a little? Do they have personalities? I don't have any Mormon friends that fit the mold here, so I can't ask.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying ALL Mormons are one way or the other.
Am I brainwashed? I really want a minivan for some reason now. And the thought of having 7 kids really gets me excited. I also happen to love these popular female Mormon activities which include scrapbooking, sewing, cooking, and baking. Is that bad? I mean, from a non-conformist Mormon point of view? My husband has tried all his life to put on the "Mormon" front. Go on a mission, marry a girl when you come back, go to college, go to medical school, be a doctor, be the bishop, die. Basically.
So why do we WANT these things? It's not like having a plaque that says "Families Are Forever" will give you a ticket into the Celestial Kingdom.
What about the Mormon blogging world? There are bazillions of Mormon blogs. Why do we like it so much? Is it the Stay At Home Mom thing? Is that what they do all day? What about all the Mormon bloggers who are all intellectual and deep into doctrine - and post forty seven pages about political issues and BoM translations *snore*...
If I there were a Mormon Conformist Scale, I this is what it would look like:
1. What's a Mormon?
2. I used to be Mormon.
3. I'm not active and I tend to break the Word of Wisdom, but I'm still Mormon
4. I'm sorta active. I go to church a few times a year, but I'm not boozin it up or anything.
5. I'm active. I don't go to picnics and crap though. I do the minimum required of me.
6. I go to church frequently, and participate in activities, but I don't have church friends.
7. I have a temple reccommend and frequently participate in church activites, but I don't have fourteen kids or anything....
8. My spouse is active in the church and our kids are pretty good. Sometimes we'll swear/drink pop/ but on rare occassions.
9. We go to church regularly and fulfill all our callings, tithe, participate in church activites, etc... All our friends, and all our kids friends, are from church.
10. My husband, the doctor, is the Bishop, my wife, the teacher, is the RS president, my ten and a half kids are either on missions or still a fetus.
I'm like a 6. LOL
Earth Day Rocks!
So, we have all heard the debates about global warming. It's here, it isn't, we're all gonna die, were not all gonna die. We've all heard it, and even I have chosen to ignore many of the pleas made by Mother Earth (and Al Gore.) Reduce, reuse, recycle, use those swirly lightbulbs, walk instead of drive your Hummer. We ignore it because the danger doesn't seem imminent. And we're lazy. However, if you've been out of your house in the past year or so, you would notice the "green" efforts starting to creep up everywhere.Look at it as if doing things to help the Earth is like the Word of Wisdom. We are to treat our bodies like a temple. While the Earth can't readily dress in modest attire and has actually been naked for the past few billion years, we can still help eliminate the pollution it is subjected to.
Recycle. You know how to do it, but you don't. It's not that hard, just set aside a different container for aluminum, glass, plastic, and paper. Make it an art project if you must. If your city (like my crappy city) doesn't offer recycling services, do it on your own. Use less paper, don't buy cans of soda, re-use plastic bottles, etc...
Use the swirly lightbulbs. They're cheaper, and since we replaced ONE light in our house, our power bill has gone down significantly.
UNPLUG electronics. This also saved on our power bill. Just because they are "off" doesn't mean they don't use a little electricity. Listen to your TV when you plug it in, and unplug it. That sound it makes is energy being used for no reason!
Google it! There are about a bazillion things you can do to help. You don't of course have to do them ALL. But just one or two things can change the world for the better.
Lifetime Member is Skeptical
I recently had a conversation with someone I know very well about the church. This person was raised in the gospel, and nearly did everything expected of him throughout his life. More recently he has become somewhat of a skeptic of the entire "organized religion" thing which is no doubt a direct result of both arrogance and intelligence. He began bringing up philosophical questions like, "What if you're brainwashed into thinking all this stuff?" and "Everyone just follows the leader, no one has a mind of their own."
I think his dismay stems from a talk given by his stake leader a few weeks ago. This talk was devoted to the "bashing" of video games, and all video game paraphernalia - equating it almost to pornography. This particular guy is of course, very into video games, as are both my husband and I. So in conversation, we were all very angry that a church leader would bash video games so wholeheartedly. Granted, video games should be treated much like food - have in moderation. But that was apparently not the point made.
As he continued talking, and questioning the gospel, Joseph Smith, etc... He mentioned that no one in church ever talks about "Cain's mark" or other controversial things, and church is always the same thing over and over again. My husband turned and said "Hey! My wife is a new member and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk like that." My husband continued to get angry that a lifelong member would be talking himself out of the gospel, when I spent so much time talking myself into the gospel.
I was glad he "defended my honor" in a way. But I stopped him and said, "Honey, there's nothing he can say that will make me change my mind. You forget that he never got the chance to ask questions growing up in the church, and I did." I turned to the skeptic and said, "Please continue. I have already researched everything you're going to say, and I still got baptized."
I hope that lifelong members will continue to ask questions, and not take everything they've learned at face value. Being a skeptic initially myself, I have asked many questions, and received many answers. I also still don't know a lot of things. But there's no point in believing in something if you don't know what it is you believe in. And while we do have a Prophet living today that guides us, it doesn't mean that everyone in the church has that same authority. So don't be sheep.
I think his dismay stems from a talk given by his stake leader a few weeks ago. This talk was devoted to the "bashing" of video games, and all video game paraphernalia - equating it almost to pornography. This particular guy is of course, very into video games, as are both my husband and I. So in conversation, we were all very angry that a church leader would bash video games so wholeheartedly. Granted, video games should be treated much like food - have in moderation. But that was apparently not the point made.
As he continued talking, and questioning the gospel, Joseph Smith, etc... He mentioned that no one in church ever talks about "Cain's mark" or other controversial things, and church is always the same thing over and over again. My husband turned and said "Hey! My wife is a new member and I would appreciate it if you didn't talk like that." My husband continued to get angry that a lifelong member would be talking himself out of the gospel, when I spent so much time talking myself into the gospel.
I was glad he "defended my honor" in a way. But I stopped him and said, "Honey, there's nothing he can say that will make me change my mind. You forget that he never got the chance to ask questions growing up in the church, and I did." I turned to the skeptic and said, "Please continue. I have already researched everything you're going to say, and I still got baptized."
I hope that lifelong members will continue to ask questions, and not take everything they've learned at face value. Being a skeptic initially myself, I have asked many questions, and received many answers. I also still don't know a lot of things. But there's no point in believing in something if you don't know what it is you believe in. And while we do have a Prophet living today that guides us, it doesn't mean that everyone in the church has that same authority. So don't be sheep.
RegularMormon - Not so "Normal" lol
Okay, let me introduce myself - I’m just a “Regular Mormon” – (April is more “normal” than I, lol). April was kind enough to invite me to her Blog site to collaborate and make some of my own comments. With her site ironically being named a “Normal Mormon”, and after reading some of her blogs, we have some common attitudes about our Mormon experience and take on things so it only seemed like a fun idea to combine our minds (for good or bad, lol). Where do you fit in – visit April’s blog on “What’s a Normal Mormon, anyway?” Very interesting (and true).
You can visit my website at http://www.regularmormon.com/. The purpose for my site is to allow me an outlet to vent my frustrations on those who criticize the church. I’ve been active in Mormon forums for years and it’s become the same old comment, just a different critic and same old whiny story. It became old repeating myself over and over so I recently developed my own site to get it all out. It’s fairly new – I only have 3 blogs so far but plan on a new one each month. Feel free to email me (mail@regularmormon.com) with any comments, suggestions, complaints, whining, whatever. April is not affiliated whatsoever with my site or comments I make so please leave her out of it if you get ticked off at what I say. If she becomes ticked off she has the power and authority to crush me off this site, lol. Hopefully I won’t cause too much bumps and bruises but you never know. I bark more then I bite.
Okay, so enough with me – I’d actually like to comment on April’s most recent blog on the FLDS issue in Texas. It’s got so I can’t even watch the news anymore. My biggest weakness is watching the suffering of children and the elderly. So I’m kind of torn between the issues of them having to rip out what are now over 500 children from their families. April made some very good points and I don’t want my first post to be of that of disagreement with her, lol, but maybe a different look or point of view at it.
I’m in the Midwest so I’m not around any polygamous communities nor do I want to pretend I know and understand what goes on. What I know is what I hear from the media, which as we know isn’t the most reliable source for a truth seekers. So let me just throw out what I do know – It’s illegal to practice polygamy in the US – so that makes it wrong in the eyes of the government. According to my faith, it’s wrong to practice polygamy today – so that makes it wrong to me. According to what I know of the FLDS religion – they are not practicing polygamy in the strict rules and practices set forth by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young which was received by revelation from God, they kinda made up their “own” rules – so that makes it wrong in my opinion, especially when the profess that they are practicing it the way it was originally, not ture. According to what I also understand – there are proven issues of sexual, mental, emotional and physical child and women abuse going on among the FLDS communities – which is a tragedy in of itself.
Were they right in ripping apart children as young as 5 years old and handicapped form their families? Honestly, I don’t know? Why though is it that the children always have to suffer these kinds of things? I’m glad however that the children are safe now! I’m sad however, especially for the younger children, they don’t feel the security of being with their mother and I’m sure they are absolutely terrified at the moment. I don’t think either way there is any “feel good” answer to solve this. However, rather then to rip away the kids – why not do what the government did to the Mormon Church when they ended polygamy and when others refused to end it on their own? Didn’t the government go after the MEN? They did, hundreds of men and women were arrested and children were taken and placed in foster care. Where are the men in all this at Texas? Rather then using time and resources on separating the children from the problem – why not use the time and resources on separating the PROBLEM from the children – which are the MEN! Let’s end the cycle. Sure, I’m not forgetting about the mothers, I’m certain they are to blame too, at least some of them. But I’m sure there are many mothers especially the younger ones who are innocent in this – a lot of sifting/filtering/counseling to do.
I say a plan should have been made to go in and have an all out “Shock and Awe” attack on getting these abusive men out of the community, rather then the children. Just an opinion – I don’t think there’s no real good answer, either way, even if no raid was done, the children will have to suffer the most and will have to suffer this the rest of their lives. It’s heartbreaking. :(
~RegularMormon – www.regularmormon.com
You can visit my website at http://www.regularmormon.com/. The purpose for my site is to allow me an outlet to vent my frustrations on those who criticize the church. I’ve been active in Mormon forums for years and it’s become the same old comment, just a different critic and same old whiny story. It became old repeating myself over and over so I recently developed my own site to get it all out. It’s fairly new – I only have 3 blogs so far but plan on a new one each month. Feel free to email me (mail@regularmormon.com) with any comments, suggestions, complaints, whining, whatever. April is not affiliated whatsoever with my site or comments I make so please leave her out of it if you get ticked off at what I say. If she becomes ticked off she has the power and authority to crush me off this site, lol. Hopefully I won’t cause too much bumps and bruises but you never know. I bark more then I bite.
Okay, so enough with me – I’d actually like to comment on April’s most recent blog on the FLDS issue in Texas. It’s got so I can’t even watch the news anymore. My biggest weakness is watching the suffering of children and the elderly. So I’m kind of torn between the issues of them having to rip out what are now over 500 children from their families. April made some very good points and I don’t want my first post to be of that of disagreement with her, lol, but maybe a different look or point of view at it.
I’m in the Midwest so I’m not around any polygamous communities nor do I want to pretend I know and understand what goes on. What I know is what I hear from the media, which as we know isn’t the most reliable source for a truth seekers. So let me just throw out what I do know – It’s illegal to practice polygamy in the US – so that makes it wrong in the eyes of the government. According to my faith, it’s wrong to practice polygamy today – so that makes it wrong to me. According to what I know of the FLDS religion – they are not practicing polygamy in the strict rules and practices set forth by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young which was received by revelation from God, they kinda made up their “own” rules – so that makes it wrong in my opinion, especially when the profess that they are practicing it the way it was originally, not ture. According to what I also understand – there are proven issues of sexual, mental, emotional and physical child and women abuse going on among the FLDS communities – which is a tragedy in of itself.
Were they right in ripping apart children as young as 5 years old and handicapped form their families? Honestly, I don’t know? Why though is it that the children always have to suffer these kinds of things? I’m glad however that the children are safe now! I’m sad however, especially for the younger children, they don’t feel the security of being with their mother and I’m sure they are absolutely terrified at the moment. I don’t think either way there is any “feel good” answer to solve this. However, rather then to rip away the kids – why not do what the government did to the Mormon Church when they ended polygamy and when others refused to end it on their own? Didn’t the government go after the MEN? They did, hundreds of men and women were arrested and children were taken and placed in foster care. Where are the men in all this at Texas? Rather then using time and resources on separating the children from the problem – why not use the time and resources on separating the PROBLEM from the children – which are the MEN! Let’s end the cycle. Sure, I’m not forgetting about the mothers, I’m certain they are to blame too, at least some of them. But I’m sure there are many mothers especially the younger ones who are innocent in this – a lot of sifting/filtering/counseling to do.
I say a plan should have been made to go in and have an all out “Shock and Awe” attack on getting these abusive men out of the community, rather then the children. Just an opinion – I don’t think there’s no real good answer, either way, even if no raid was done, the children will have to suffer the most and will have to suffer this the rest of their lives. It’s heartbreaking. :(
~RegularMormon – www.regularmormon.com
Issue – The FLDS Raid in Texas
Many LDS blogs and forums have expressed anger or resentment towards the government for raiding the FLDS compound in Texas and removing all 416 children from their homes and families.
I will spare the details, but basically a 16 year old girl called and reported that she was being sexually and physically abused by her 50 year old husband, which led to the search of the compound and removal of children therein. Google it to find out more…
As LDS ourselves, I am sure many of us are compelled to have sympathy for the families. How could they take ALL the children? As a reminder, the FLDS aren’t considered part of our church. Many non-members generalize and assume all Mormons take part in lifestyles like this. However, this post is meant to describe my utter disgust and disappointment in current church members, as well as those who are members of the FLDS church who are against the Texas raid and support the children being put back into their previous lifestyles.
We like to look the other way, and hope that everything going on in these compounds is inspired of God, or harmless. Or we bite our tongues because of religious rights. No matter how you look at it, there are girls under 15 being forced (albeit brainwashed) to marry 50 year old men, their cousins, men with five other wives, etc… Many men, including leaders in the FLDS church, have been convicted of serious sex crimes. Young women at the prime of the sexual confusion are seduced by men as old as their grandfathers. Young men are weeded out to eliminate the competition for the older men. We all generally know what acts these people hide behind “religion.”
Taking every single child is completely justified and necessary. How are we to determine who was forced into marriage? How are we to know who is being raped? There is no way to know. There is also no way to determine if this single phone call had any merit. However, many people are forgetting that the raid of this compound wasn’t based on one phone call, rather instigated by it. The many illegal acts committed here, protected by the veil of the United States’ legal technicality of “religious freedom” were more than enough to justify it.
So what about the mothers and children? I am sure all the children want to be back with their families – even the abused ones. No child wants to be ripped away like that. I am sure there are plenty of teenage girls who are wishing they could be back with their husbands/fathers even. But what about the ones who aren’t? What about the young girls who are forced to be mothers at 13? What about those who suffer every day watching the husband they love have sex with other women? What about all the others? Will the children readily admit that they want out? No, of course not. Who wants to be ripped away from their family, and persecuted by the only people they know and love. These children are coached by their parents, and therefore even when they want out, won’t admit it to authorities. What about the ones who want to escape, but can’t? We need to give all these children a chance to realize that the only thing they know is illegal.
I am fully in support of the freedom of plural marriage for consenting adults. There’s really nothing we as a country can do about that. However, children are too young to know right from wrong, especially if their parents can’t even tell the difference. Allowing this behavior to go on is simply irrational. We need to give these kids a chance to realize that they don’t have to do this. Taking them all away was the only solution, and will hopefully trigger more investigation.
I will spare the details, but basically a 16 year old girl called and reported that she was being sexually and physically abused by her 50 year old husband, which led to the search of the compound and removal of children therein. Google it to find out more…
As LDS ourselves, I am sure many of us are compelled to have sympathy for the families. How could they take ALL the children? As a reminder, the FLDS aren’t considered part of our church. Many non-members generalize and assume all Mormons take part in lifestyles like this. However, this post is meant to describe my utter disgust and disappointment in current church members, as well as those who are members of the FLDS church who are against the Texas raid and support the children being put back into their previous lifestyles.
We like to look the other way, and hope that everything going on in these compounds is inspired of God, or harmless. Or we bite our tongues because of religious rights. No matter how you look at it, there are girls under 15 being forced (albeit brainwashed) to marry 50 year old men, their cousins, men with five other wives, etc… Many men, including leaders in the FLDS church, have been convicted of serious sex crimes. Young women at the prime of the sexual confusion are seduced by men as old as their grandfathers. Young men are weeded out to eliminate the competition for the older men. We all generally know what acts these people hide behind “religion.”
Taking every single child is completely justified and necessary. How are we to determine who was forced into marriage? How are we to know who is being raped? There is no way to know. There is also no way to determine if this single phone call had any merit. However, many people are forgetting that the raid of this compound wasn’t based on one phone call, rather instigated by it. The many illegal acts committed here, protected by the veil of the United States’ legal technicality of “religious freedom” were more than enough to justify it.
So what about the mothers and children? I am sure all the children want to be back with their families – even the abused ones. No child wants to be ripped away like that. I am sure there are plenty of teenage girls who are wishing they could be back with their husbands/fathers even. But what about the ones who aren’t? What about the young girls who are forced to be mothers at 13? What about those who suffer every day watching the husband they love have sex with other women? What about all the others? Will the children readily admit that they want out? No, of course not. Who wants to be ripped away from their family, and persecuted by the only people they know and love. These children are coached by their parents, and therefore even when they want out, won’t admit it to authorities. What about the ones who want to escape, but can’t? We need to give all these children a chance to realize that the only thing they know is illegal.
I am fully in support of the freedom of plural marriage for consenting adults. There’s really nothing we as a country can do about that. However, children are too young to know right from wrong, especially if their parents can’t even tell the difference. Allowing this behavior to go on is simply irrational. We need to give these kids a chance to realize that they don’t have to do this. Taking them all away was the only solution, and will hopefully trigger more investigation.
A Funny Day at Church
We had kind of an out-of-the ordinary day at church today. While the talks and subjects weren't particularly memorable, everything that made us not pay attention was....
Today's speakers were all women, because of the new Young Women's leaders. The moment they started to speak, the bishop fell asleep and all the old men broke out their books and started reading instead of paying attention. Jerkoffs. Sorry - that's just rude.
We had three speakers, and every one of them cried. Like, almost indecipherable wailing. The first girl didn't even divert her eyes as she reached over to the tissue box. The other two felt it necessary to dig into their nose with the tissues. Ew.
In sacrament we were starving. A Samoan woman got up to talk, and she made us want Hawaiian BBQ really bad. (I'm not being racist, she just reminds me of a lady that worked at a Hawaiian BBQ.) I couldn't even focus because I wanted spam musubi so bad. Then in Sunday School we were talking about the book of Jacob and the allegorical story of the olive branch. I said "Mmmm, olives..." And my husband followed up with, "Oooh. Olive Garden sounds so good." THIS is why you should eat before church.
Our Sunday School room is directly underneath the primary room. We can hear the piano just as well as if it were sitting right in front of us. Not to mention the thunderous roar of little footsteps and shuffling chairs. They sang "I Am a Child of God" FIVE times in one hour. I don't even know what to say about this.
I looked over at my husband and he was staring off into space, mouth gaping open and eyes wide. I couldn't help but laugh out loud, then quietly ask him what the heck he was doing. He said, and I quote, "Oh. I was thinking of a way to Jackie Chan myself out of a situation. I was fighting the guys, and coming up with moves to kick their ass. But somehow I end up dying in the end anyway."
We are going to be getting temple prep classes from an older couple at church, and the Bishop introduced us after sacrament. I reached out my hand to introduce myself, and Mr. Eggbert shook it lightly and said, "I need to talk to your husband..." and almost flung me out of the way by my arm. I stood about three feet away, feeling very insulted. He then asked if my husband would say a prayer in church next week. I thought, "Ha Ha!" Then he turned to me and said, "And after that, it's your turn." These are going to be some interesting temple prep classes.
Ah good times.
Today's speakers were all women, because of the new Young Women's leaders. The moment they started to speak, the bishop fell asleep and all the old men broke out their books and started reading instead of paying attention. Jerkoffs. Sorry - that's just rude.
We had three speakers, and every one of them cried. Like, almost indecipherable wailing. The first girl didn't even divert her eyes as she reached over to the tissue box. The other two felt it necessary to dig into their nose with the tissues. Ew.
In sacrament we were starving. A Samoan woman got up to talk, and she made us want Hawaiian BBQ really bad. (I'm not being racist, she just reminds me of a lady that worked at a Hawaiian BBQ.) I couldn't even focus because I wanted spam musubi so bad. Then in Sunday School we were talking about the book of Jacob and the allegorical story of the olive branch. I said "Mmmm, olives..." And my husband followed up with, "Oooh. Olive Garden sounds so good." THIS is why you should eat before church.
Our Sunday School room is directly underneath the primary room. We can hear the piano just as well as if it were sitting right in front of us. Not to mention the thunderous roar of little footsteps and shuffling chairs. They sang "I Am a Child of God" FIVE times in one hour. I don't even know what to say about this.
I looked over at my husband and he was staring off into space, mouth gaping open and eyes wide. I couldn't help but laugh out loud, then quietly ask him what the heck he was doing. He said, and I quote, "Oh. I was thinking of a way to Jackie Chan myself out of a situation. I was fighting the guys, and coming up with moves to kick their ass. But somehow I end up dying in the end anyway."
We are going to be getting temple prep classes from an older couple at church, and the Bishop introduced us after sacrament. I reached out my hand to introduce myself, and Mr. Eggbert shook it lightly and said, "I need to talk to your husband..." and almost flung me out of the way by my arm. I stood about three feet away, feeling very insulted. He then asked if my husband would say a prayer in church next week. I thought, "Ha Ha!" Then he turned to me and said, "And after that, it's your turn." These are going to be some interesting temple prep classes.
Ah good times.
Mormon Church Cliques
Sitting in church is much like sitting in a high school cafeteria. While the groups aren't allocated by geography, one can generally decipher which Mormon Clique they belong to. Of course this varies by ward, but you get the point.
1. The RM
Return Missionaries can often be identified easily as they still have "leftovers" from their mission. Leftover suits, shoes, haircuts, bibles, etc... They are often enthusiastic about the gospel, reverent, and exceedingly haughty at times. They also have wandering eyes, and tend to flirt.
2. The Convert
Also an enthusiastic bunch. Their prayers tend to be more unique, and sometimes strange. They get funny looks on their face when certain lingo is used, like “CES.” They REALLY pay attention in Sacrament and love Fast and Testimony. They haven’t quite mastered quick scripture lookup or taking the water gracefully.
3. The SAHM
This is the “Stay at Home Mom.” Quite a popular group. They can usually be found in the hallway or in the back of the church with a child on their hip speaking with other SAHMs. Can’t really pay attention due to the amount of unruly children they try to keep at bay. They often do more church activities on days other than Sunday, perhaps to make up for lost time.
4. The Overly Worthy Priesthood Holder
This guy could be mistaken for a missionary if it weren’t for his age, or the children attached to his ankles. He’s often quite attentive or out in the hallway holding the children, as to allow his wife to listen to sacrament. He’s outspoken in Sunday School and Priesthood, and is kind to everyone in the ward. The bishop is usually (hopefully) part of this group.
5. The "Elder"ly
Most often found asleep, this group tends to be those over the age of 70. They’ve been going to church so long that it seems they’ve heard it all. While they’re often inspiring to family members, their talks can get long and off-topic. They’re intelligent about the gospel, and can answer almost any question, although they tend to stick to the “old ways” and don’t like change.
6. The Disgruntled Teen
Usually dressed in trendy outfits, these teens are always on the fashion forefront but feel the way about church much like other children do. They are annoyed at three hours of God talk, and by members of these other various groups. They DO believe in the gospel, and can recite their testimony almost as naturally as chewing a bite of food – without thinking. But the glum, somewhat defeated look on their faces suggests otherwise.
7. The Enthusiastic Teen
The one that has had nothing but positive experience thus far, and are always involved, paying attention, and perfectly adhering to the Word of Wisdom. Their ultimate dreams are to attend BYU, get married/go on a mission, and have children. They are heavily equipped with highlighters and extra reading material, and take notes like they’re practicing for the SAT.
8. The Intellectual
These people often “look” like they are paying attention in church, but are really gazing at the speaker and thinking of something else entirely. They generally think that if they stare in the podium’s direction, that no one is aware of what they are doing. Perhaps they’re thinking of our dependence on foreign oil, perhaps the architecture of the building, perhaps the ingredients of tonight’s dinner – whatever it is, it ain’t about God.
9. The Questionable Couple
This is the guy that comes to church with his salmon colored shirt wrinkly and un-tucked, his navy blue pants three inches too short, and a bow tie. His wife is wearing orange fishnet tights, silver shoes, and a neon green dress. Okay, maybe you’ve never seen them – but they are in my ward and I think they might be from another planet altogether. We must have some good missionaries out on Mars.
1. The RM
Return Missionaries can often be identified easily as they still have "leftovers" from their mission. Leftover suits, shoes, haircuts, bibles, etc... They are often enthusiastic about the gospel, reverent, and exceedingly haughty at times. They also have wandering eyes, and tend to flirt.
2. The Convert
Also an enthusiastic bunch. Their prayers tend to be more unique, and sometimes strange. They get funny looks on their face when certain lingo is used, like “CES.” They REALLY pay attention in Sacrament and love Fast and Testimony. They haven’t quite mastered quick scripture lookup or taking the water gracefully.
3. The SAHM
This is the “Stay at Home Mom.” Quite a popular group. They can usually be found in the hallway or in the back of the church with a child on their hip speaking with other SAHMs. Can’t really pay attention due to the amount of unruly children they try to keep at bay. They often do more church activities on days other than Sunday, perhaps to make up for lost time.
4. The Overly Worthy Priesthood Holder
This guy could be mistaken for a missionary if it weren’t for his age, or the children attached to his ankles. He’s often quite attentive or out in the hallway holding the children, as to allow his wife to listen to sacrament. He’s outspoken in Sunday School and Priesthood, and is kind to everyone in the ward. The bishop is usually (hopefully) part of this group.
5. The "Elder"ly
Most often found asleep, this group tends to be those over the age of 70. They’ve been going to church so long that it seems they’ve heard it all. While they’re often inspiring to family members, their talks can get long and off-topic. They’re intelligent about the gospel, and can answer almost any question, although they tend to stick to the “old ways” and don’t like change.
6. The Disgruntled Teen
Usually dressed in trendy outfits, these teens are always on the fashion forefront but feel the way about church much like other children do. They are annoyed at three hours of God talk, and by members of these other various groups. They DO believe in the gospel, and can recite their testimony almost as naturally as chewing a bite of food – without thinking. But the glum, somewhat defeated look on their faces suggests otherwise.
7. The Enthusiastic Teen
The one that has had nothing but positive experience thus far, and are always involved, paying attention, and perfectly adhering to the Word of Wisdom. Their ultimate dreams are to attend BYU, get married/go on a mission, and have children. They are heavily equipped with highlighters and extra reading material, and take notes like they’re practicing for the SAT.
8. The Intellectual
These people often “look” like they are paying attention in church, but are really gazing at the speaker and thinking of something else entirely. They generally think that if they stare in the podium’s direction, that no one is aware of what they are doing. Perhaps they’re thinking of our dependence on foreign oil, perhaps the architecture of the building, perhaps the ingredients of tonight’s dinner – whatever it is, it ain’t about God.
9. The Questionable Couple
This is the guy that comes to church with his salmon colored shirt wrinkly and un-tucked, his navy blue pants three inches too short, and a bow tie. His wife is wearing orange fishnet tights, silver shoes, and a neon green dress. Okay, maybe you’ve never seen them – but they are in my ward and I think they might be from another planet altogether. We must have some good missionaries out on Mars.
Praying Pays in Little Ways
Yesterday my husband and I got in a fight. It was about money of course, and wasn't worth all the fuss. But of course I decided that I needed to pray right then and there for a little help. Help with money, help with marriage, or just help with a little feeling of peace. Reading the scriptures tends to give me peace, so that's what I decided to do. I took out my Bible/BoM/D&C/PoGP all in one version, closed my eyes, gave it a few twist and turns, then opened it and pointed to a place on the page.
This is what it said: Ezekiel 16:49
"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
Hmm. Perhaps this is why I'm not getting a "break" so to speak. I, along with many others I'm sure, have problems with all of these things. I buy, eat, and waste a lot of food. I rarely exercise or do things other than work, clean a little, partake in various hobbies, and sleep. And I haven't been tithing. Granted, we already have a chunk of change set aside for it this month, but we haven't actually handed over a check.
Any step in the right direction, is a good step. My husband called me after awhile apologized, and cooked dinner. Then, we started the Book of Mormon at the very beginning. Our goal is to have it finished by August 8th of this year. I will let you know why in the next post!
This is what it said: Ezekiel 16:49
"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."
Hmm. Perhaps this is why I'm not getting a "break" so to speak. I, along with many others I'm sure, have problems with all of these things. I buy, eat, and waste a lot of food. I rarely exercise or do things other than work, clean a little, partake in various hobbies, and sleep. And I haven't been tithing. Granted, we already have a chunk of change set aside for it this month, but we haven't actually handed over a check.
Any step in the right direction, is a good step. My husband called me after awhile apologized, and cooked dinner. Then, we started the Book of Mormon at the very beginning. Our goal is to have it finished by August 8th of this year. I will let you know why in the next post!
You Know You're Mormon If...
I got these from a Facebook group actually. They are HILARIOUS. Feel free to add more!
Its not "the early bird catches the worm" it’s, "the seminary student gets into college."
You say "Provo", "Salt Lake", or "Palmyra" without the state and automatically assume that the whole world knows where those places are.
There is a son on a mission and mom is pregnant with another.
You know what a "fireside" is.
8 kids in a family is "average."
Your 14th and 16th birthdays are the best birthdays of your life.
You think "heck" is the place for people who do not believe in "gosh."
You know how to pronounce and spell Mahonri Moriancumer.
You know what ZL, DL, AP, PPI, BYC, SYC, YSA, GA, EQP, EFY, YC, CTR, and BYU all stand for.Youth Conference, EFY, and Girls Camp are the best 3 weeks of the year
Mormon movies are amazing and Kirby Heyborne is your hero.
You drive into the church parking lot and at least half the lot is filled with 12 passenger vans.
You "Bless this food to nourish and strengthen" your body before eating doughnuts.
Going 24 hours without eating is no longer a challenging thing.
A "Caffeine High" is eating a king size chocolate bar
Parents are disappointed if their kid "only" got into Harvard.
You have more than one aunt/uncle that is younger than you.
The "EFY Medley" is your favorite song
"Is the spirit telling you what its telling me?"
"I can't...I'm Mormon" has been an excuse on more than one occasion
Piano was your first instrument
Your mom is pregnant at the same time you are
You have 3 or more BYU sweatshirts/shirts
Being a "rebel" is drinking Mountain Dew more than twice in one week
There are more women pregnant in your ward than not
You consider a great date watching The Princess Bride!
The laying on of hands has nothing to do with physical violence.
You've ever pushed 120mph in a 55mph zone on the way to a church dance
You've ever had your alarm set for 4:45 am
Your first date was when you were 16 to a Church Dance and your parent was a chaperone.
All your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape
You think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups
At least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house
You have never arrived at a meeting on timeYou have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries
You've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory"
You think it's all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing
You have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining
You automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers
You go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi
You arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there
You say "the scriptures" instead of "the bible" and people are confused
You knew how to iron your own white shirts/dresses before you were ten
The best present on your eighth birthday is a set of scriptures with your name EMBOSSED on the front cover
You are the only person in your high school's theatre department who knows how to tie a necktie . . . and have to do so for every guy wearing one on stage . . . and you're a girl
An evening's hi-jinks involve "heart attacks" or "forking"
You go to college and only know how to cook dishes in amounts of seven portions or more
You know exactly what Beehives, Mia Maids, and Laurels are, and have to explain what those are to your friends
Your family owns a wheat grinder, bread machine, and vacuum packer
You think the only sensible way to buy groceries is in bulk
You know how to make brownies/cookies/frosting/muffins/pancakes/waffles from scratch
You know what "from scratch" means
Your family's satellite subscription package includes BYU Radio and BYU-TV
You have more than one religious picture/statue in your home including in your bathroom and the rooms of you and your siblings
You have never had your own room and will never have your own room because you go from home to college and college to marriage
You think that sharing your dorm room with only ONE roommate is a luxurious arrangement
You carry a military size Book of Mormon in your purse so that you have something to read if you get stuck waiting somewhere
You think it's rude to call or come to someone's home unannounced on Monday night
You look forward to yearly temple trips with Christmas-like anticipation (and then when a temple is built ten minutes from your house you drive by at every opportunity)
You know that the "golden dude" on top of the temple is NOT doing a karate kick, but is holding a trumpet
Your family spends more than 500 dollars on groceries each month at Costco
Boys in your family are not allowed to drive until they reach Eagle Scout rank
You think foreign language class in high school is good practice for your mission
Your home room class (which was Seminary) raises more money during the Penny Drive than the rest of the school . . . combined
You feel like you've really missed out if you get sick on Sunday, especially if it's BYD Sunday
You plan on spending your retirement years on missions
Your favorite lunch hang-out is the Seminary building
Your life is not complete without 1) passing off all six years of Girl's Camp 2)Earning your Young Womanhood Recognition award 3) Graduating Seminary 4)Graduating Institute and 5) Getting married in your favorite temple
The only experience you've had with a Margarita is getting baptized for ten of them on your first temple trip
You get these jokes
Its not "the early bird catches the worm" it’s, "the seminary student gets into college."
You say "Provo", "Salt Lake", or "Palmyra" without the state and automatically assume that the whole world knows where those places are.
There is a son on a mission and mom is pregnant with another.
You know what a "fireside" is.
8 kids in a family is "average."
Your 14th and 16th birthdays are the best birthdays of your life.
You think "heck" is the place for people who do not believe in "gosh."
You know how to pronounce and spell Mahonri Moriancumer.
You know what ZL, DL, AP, PPI, BYC, SYC, YSA, GA, EQP, EFY, YC, CTR, and BYU all stand for.Youth Conference, EFY, and Girls Camp are the best 3 weeks of the year
Mormon movies are amazing and Kirby Heyborne is your hero.
You drive into the church parking lot and at least half the lot is filled with 12 passenger vans.
You "Bless this food to nourish and strengthen" your body before eating doughnuts.
Going 24 hours without eating is no longer a challenging thing.
A "Caffeine High" is eating a king size chocolate bar
Parents are disappointed if their kid "only" got into Harvard.
You have more than one aunt/uncle that is younger than you.
The "EFY Medley" is your favorite song
"Is the spirit telling you what its telling me?"
"I can't...I'm Mormon" has been an excuse on more than one occasion
Piano was your first instrument
Your mom is pregnant at the same time you are
You have 3 or more BYU sweatshirts/shirts
Being a "rebel" is drinking Mountain Dew more than twice in one week
There are more women pregnant in your ward than not
You consider a great date watching The Princess Bride!
The laying on of hands has nothing to do with physical violence.
You've ever pushed 120mph in a 55mph zone on the way to a church dance
You've ever had your alarm set for 4:45 am
Your first date was when you were 16 to a Church Dance and your parent was a chaperone.
All your dishes have your name written on them with masking tape
You think Jell-O is one of the basic food groups
At least one of your salad bowls is at a neighbor's house
You have never arrived at a meeting on timeYou have more wheat stored in your basement than most third world countries
You've already got your order in for volume 50 of "The Work and The Glory"
You think it's all right to watch football on Sundays as long as a direct descendant of Brigham Young is playing
You have to guess more than five times the name of the child you're disciplining
You automatically assume that BYOB means, Bring Your Own Burgers
You go to a party and someone spikes the punch with Pepsi
You arrive to an activity an hour late and are the first person there
You say "the scriptures" instead of "the bible" and people are confused
You knew how to iron your own white shirts/dresses before you were ten
The best present on your eighth birthday is a set of scriptures with your name EMBOSSED on the front cover
You are the only person in your high school's theatre department who knows how to tie a necktie . . . and have to do so for every guy wearing one on stage . . . and you're a girl
An evening's hi-jinks involve "heart attacks" or "forking"
You go to college and only know how to cook dishes in amounts of seven portions or more
You know exactly what Beehives, Mia Maids, and Laurels are, and have to explain what those are to your friends
Your family owns a wheat grinder, bread machine, and vacuum packer
You think the only sensible way to buy groceries is in bulk
You know how to make brownies/cookies/frosting/muffins/pancakes/waffles from scratch
You know what "from scratch" means
Your family's satellite subscription package includes BYU Radio and BYU-TV
You have more than one religious picture/statue in your home including in your bathroom and the rooms of you and your siblings
You have never had your own room and will never have your own room because you go from home to college and college to marriage
You think that sharing your dorm room with only ONE roommate is a luxurious arrangement
You carry a military size Book of Mormon in your purse so that you have something to read if you get stuck waiting somewhere
You think it's rude to call or come to someone's home unannounced on Monday night
You look forward to yearly temple trips with Christmas-like anticipation (and then when a temple is built ten minutes from your house you drive by at every opportunity)
You know that the "golden dude" on top of the temple is NOT doing a karate kick, but is holding a trumpet
Your family spends more than 500 dollars on groceries each month at Costco
Boys in your family are not allowed to drive until they reach Eagle Scout rank
You think foreign language class in high school is good practice for your mission
Your home room class (which was Seminary) raises more money during the Penny Drive than the rest of the school . . . combined
You feel like you've really missed out if you get sick on Sunday, especially if it's BYD Sunday
You plan on spending your retirement years on missions
Your favorite lunch hang-out is the Seminary building
Your life is not complete without 1) passing off all six years of Girl's Camp 2)Earning your Young Womanhood Recognition award 3) Graduating Seminary 4)Graduating Institute and 5) Getting married in your favorite temple
The only experience you've had with a Margarita is getting baptized for ten of them on your first temple trip
You get these jokes
What's a Normal Mormon Anyway?
Initially, Normal Mormons was created to be a discussion area for members of the church who more or less identified with the rest of society, rather than other Mormons. "Normal" means conforming to the standard or the common type. I meant "conforming to the standard or common type of society." We can't necessarily recite scriptures on a whim, we don't all know how to make 37 different types of fruit salad, we sometimes watch rated "R" movies, we don't all have perfectly pleated suits or curled bangs. We love the gospel and strive to live as righteously as possible. We are also REAL, we have substance, we have questions, answers, and are outspoken, inquisitive, and are tough enough to withstand the persecution brought onto us by others. We don't discount every argument against our faith without research, and we recognize that we aren't the smartest or most perfect people on Earth. We also don't try to confuse people with fancy words and scripture spouting, or put on a fake front to impress people. We also have a sense of humor. And we're sexy.
However, it can also be taken the other direction of course - conforming to the standard or common type of church members (the Jell-O mold members) and this isn't looked poorly upon at all by myself, at least. If anything I strive to be a little more like them. These members include those who were raised in the church, have never missed a Sunday, were consistently surrounded by the gospel as children, always have a brilliant and in-depth plan for Family Home Evening, and always highlight their scriptures. They were married in the temple, their house is impeccable, and they're college graduates or stay at home parents. We all know what makes a conformist Mormon. But these are also "Normal Mormons."
Whatever category you fall into, rest assured there is always room to learn, grow, and improve. Each group could probably stand to take some pointers from the other. The ultimate goal is to simply grow in the gospel, become closer to Heavenly Father, our families, and live life to the absolute fullest. In the mean time there will be bumps, hurdles, times of praise, and beautiful little moments that make the life given to us worth it.
Enough serious stuff, let's party. *breaks out the Scattergories*
However, it can also be taken the other direction of course - conforming to the standard or common type of church members (the Jell-O mold members) and this isn't looked poorly upon at all by myself, at least. If anything I strive to be a little more like them. These members include those who were raised in the church, have never missed a Sunday, were consistently surrounded by the gospel as children, always have a brilliant and in-depth plan for Family Home Evening, and always highlight their scriptures. They were married in the temple, their house is impeccable, and they're college graduates or stay at home parents. We all know what makes a conformist Mormon. But these are also "Normal Mormons."
Whatever category you fall into, rest assured there is always room to learn, grow, and improve. Each group could probably stand to take some pointers from the other. The ultimate goal is to simply grow in the gospel, become closer to Heavenly Father, our families, and live life to the absolute fullest. In the mean time there will be bumps, hurdles, times of praise, and beautiful little moments that make the life given to us worth it.
Enough serious stuff, let's party. *breaks out the Scattergories*
Praying Pays in Little Ways
Hey that rhymes. Which is why it's the title for a new weekly post at Normal Mormons. (We like rhyming here.)
This post will be dedicated to demonstrating how daily praying and scripture study directly contributes to...dare I say it...good fortune. I know that's not exactly how it all works. I also know that we shouldn't pray and study scriptures for this sole purpose. The point is to gain a deeper understanding of the gospel, and a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. I have a firm belief however, that he'll throw us a bone every once in awhile too. Ahem, we refer to them as "blessings." E-mail your blessings to me at normalmormons@gmail.com if you would like them in one of the weekly posts. Here are mine for today.
1. I really hate my cell phone provider. I won't name names, but it starts with an "S" and ends with "print." They have the worst customer service and the phone I have never works. It is so bad that I have seriously contemplated paying the $300 to get out of my contract. Today I went into the store because my battery wasn't charging. By the end of the whole deal I got a new free battery, a cheaper plan without a contract, and a 25% discount per month. (Because of where I work.)
2. My husband has been helping his older brother run his road construction business during his spring break. 15 hour days for the last 10 days he's been doing hard labor. They weren't getting any help from other people in the company, so they took matters into their own hands and handled the situation. Because of this, my husband couldn't study for a big test. The impossibly strict professor that runs the class miraculously pushed back the test at my husbands request.
3. During this post, my husband called. He said after all the crazy things that happened in the situation above, the person who runs the company in our city quit. My husband stepped in and is now running the company and going to school full time!
We have been having difficulties financially, so all these really came at the perfect time. We always have prayed nightly together (which I strongly reccommend) but only recently have read the scriptures and had a "mini-lesson." I think this has helped lead us in the right direction.
E-mail your blessings to normalmormons@gmail.com and see them in next weeks post.
This post will be dedicated to demonstrating how daily praying and scripture study directly contributes to...dare I say it...good fortune. I know that's not exactly how it all works. I also know that we shouldn't pray and study scriptures for this sole purpose. The point is to gain a deeper understanding of the gospel, and a closer relationship with our Heavenly Father. I have a firm belief however, that he'll throw us a bone every once in awhile too. Ahem, we refer to them as "blessings." E-mail your blessings to me at normalmormons@gmail.com if you would like them in one of the weekly posts. Here are mine for today.
1. I really hate my cell phone provider. I won't name names, but it starts with an "S" and ends with "print." They have the worst customer service and the phone I have never works. It is so bad that I have seriously contemplated paying the $300 to get out of my contract. Today I went into the store because my battery wasn't charging. By the end of the whole deal I got a new free battery, a cheaper plan without a contract, and a 25% discount per month. (Because of where I work.)
2. My husband has been helping his older brother run his road construction business during his spring break. 15 hour days for the last 10 days he's been doing hard labor. They weren't getting any help from other people in the company, so they took matters into their own hands and handled the situation. Because of this, my husband couldn't study for a big test. The impossibly strict professor that runs the class miraculously pushed back the test at my husbands request.
3. During this post, my husband called. He said after all the crazy things that happened in the situation above, the person who runs the company in our city quit. My husband stepped in and is now running the company and going to school full time!
We have been having difficulties financially, so all these really came at the perfect time. We always have prayed nightly together (which I strongly reccommend) but only recently have read the scriptures and had a "mini-lesson." I think this has helped lead us in the right direction.
E-mail your blessings to normalmormons@gmail.com and see them in next weeks post.